SRS Jealousy

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Anticipate, Apr 27, 2007.

  1. Anticipate

    Anticipate New Member

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    I feel like a worth piece of s***.
    I can't help but get jealous of other girls- you know, the ones who have it all- looks, intelligence, personality, great guy, etc. I just wish that I were like that, but I know it's never going to happen.
    People just don't like me, never did, and I don't know how to make people like me. I wish that I could be really charming, charismatic, funny, smart, interesting...then maybe people would like me.
     
  2. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    You're a girl, right?
     
  3. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    no no and no.

    While your looking at how the grass is greener at other people, you could have used that time to make your own grass green.

    Your NOT them, and you never will so focussing on them is not only useless, but you also only look at the things you don't have, instead of appreciating the things that you do have.

    So here's my advice.

    Everyone has to EARN what they RECEIVE in life. So if you see someone who has it nicer, then they have earned it one way or another, wether it was in this life or a past life, it fits with what they did. So if you want to improve your own situation, stick out your hands and think hard on how to make your own life greener.

    Wether it be by getting grades, working out to look better, improving your surroundings, its your garden, and you have to decorate it in order to get the best possible life. Again only looking at others will only degrade the quality of your own garden.

    And this is exactly why you NEVER have to be jealous about someone else, the good news is you can earn it too, the bad news is , is that its going to take a lot of work, but the good news on that is that you have your life in your own hands. Life is what you make of it.
     
  4. Anticipate

    Anticipate New Member

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    I am...but for the purposes of this thread, does it really matter?
     
  5. Anticipate

    Anticipate New Member

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    You're absolutely right, and many people who "have it better" did work hard to earn it. However, the "hard work" that I have put in to try to become like people I admire has gotten blown up in my face. I worked hard in graduate school in social work- only to see myself get thrown out (not for grades- more for personality reasons).
    Getting good grades is not the answer- although I probably sound like I am in high school, I am actually almost 26 and way past the school age (unless I decide to go to a different graduate school, which I am not really trying to do, given my past bad experience).
    I look at other people my age (or younger), who have accomplished so much- completed graduate school, good jobs, marraige, children...and I see myself, and I feel like such a failure. I don't even want to try, because trying only makes me feel worse when I don't succeed.
     
  6. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    First off he was just getting some facts so he could post a long novel about things and then people could pick it apart.

    It always happens.

    Second

    Enough said!

    /Discussion with that post.
     
  7. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Sort of.

    That's why I thought you were a girl. I would hope that a guy wouldn't be jealous of a girl :p

    You can change your looks to an extent. This is why I was asking if you were a girl. Looks tend to be more important to a girl because women are judged more harshly based on their looks than men are (that isn't to say men aren't judged on their looks).

    You have some control over this. IQ is genetically determined and is a measure of aptitude and not "how much you know," but you can always improve what you have. You can improve your vocabulary. You can learn another language. You can learn about different things, such as world politics, the stock market, or wines. These will make you appear "more intelligent" while not actually changing your IQ. They will also give you things to talk about and you'll be able to join in other people's conversations if they are talking about something you know about. Or, you can say "oh really? i was just reading about that the other day... I heard that blah blah blah... can you tell me more?" Nice people like to share knowledge, so that's a good way to join a conversation, too. Careful, however; the more you learn, the more other people will think of you as an elitist. It's lonely at the top.

    This can be changed, or at least faked a bit.

    This will be a result that arrives when you are happy with yourself. Right now you are obviously not happy with yourself, so attracting a great guy is probably the least of your worries.

    It can, if you work on it. Self-improvement is awesome. Even if you won't ever be a supermodel inventor billionaire genius, won't it be nice to know that when you go to bed tonight you'll be better than you were when you woke up today?

    Barring some seriously physical deformity or body odor problem, it probably has something to do with your attitude. I have this problem, too. People "don't like me," and it's probably because I give off elitist or arrogant vibes (that's what some people have told me). I'm not all schmoozy and I'd make a terrible salesman. I prefer no company to bad company. I don't find conversation with most people to be interesting or stimulating. However, I'm trying to improve my charisma, my personality, and overall socially, so that I don't feel like this anymore. It's a slow process, but for the most part, I'm slowly making progress each day.

    That's a start. You can achive those things.
     
  8. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    It's because you don't give a fuck!
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Everyone always thinks other people have it soooo great, or soooo easy. When the truth is everyone had tons of problems and/or insecurity. The reason people might not like you is because you are ridiculously insecure and have said before that you don't ever even put yourself out there. You need to present yourself with confidence.
     
  10. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    No way, everyone loves the guy who doesn't give a fuck.
     
  11. zonedoubt

    zonedoubt New Member

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    Eh, none of the mentioned traits necessarily lead to being liked. Hell, I'm only averagely clever and attractive, absentminded to a fault, rather socially awkward, and I'll happily wear the same pants for a week without washing them. Somehow, perhaps because I make a damn good attempt to be unapologetic and unashamed of these flaws, plenty of people love me. I don't give a shit if I have universal appeal, because being liked doesn't mean shit if I don't like the people that like me.

    The one trait that I have noticed to be almost universally UNappealing is the "pleaselikeme", clingy, obsessive behavior that is the trademark of the chronically insecure.

    I don't know how to fix that, other than submerging yourself in your interests and goals for a long time before you even bother trying to establish a meaningful long-term relationship with others. You have to learn to enjoy yourself and your own company before you can expect anyone else to do the same.
     
  12. The Saggin' Nutz

    The Saggin' Nutz New Member

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    everyone get jealous of other people from time to time, if you try, you can get anything you want
     
  13. Vic Mackey

    Vic Mackey New Member

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    It sounds to me that you are trying too hard to be someone you aren't and maybe coming across as fake or arrogant because of it. Personally, I find this to be very unappealing. I think that you need to find yourself and let that person shine. My dad always used to tell me that you have to like/love yourself before others can do the same.
     
  14. Stilgar1973

    Stilgar1973 New Member

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    Ummm yeah...
    cause if you werent then I would have assumed you wanted to go the tranny route. And that would have been a different thread altogether.
     
  15. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    :werd: That's the easiest place to start. If you don't like the way you look then change it. Get a new hairdo, try different makeup, lose weight if you need to, get new clothes, etc. You can change your looks fairly quickly and it will immediately boost your self-confidence. After that you can work on changing the personality stuff since that takes a lot longer. Read some self-improvement books or see a therapist if you have big issues to deal with.

    You? :eek3: Never! :mamoru:
     

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