SRS Jealousy

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by LSWHAT?, Jun 5, 2005.

  1. LSWHAT?

    LSWHAT? New Member

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    I really like this girl, we hang out all the time and have fun. But sometimes all she does is talk about guys, or guys calling her. She has told me she likes me and would like to be with me but I just cant do it as long as she talks about other guys to me. I don't think she would be the kind to cheat but as long as she still talks about these guys its going to be in the back of my mind driving me crazy and I don't want to be one who tells a girl how to live her life, and i've told her that it bothers me, but it doesnt seem to phase her. Thats the one and only reason we aren't together and she cannot figure it out.
     
  2. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    have you tried directing the conversation in another direction? it may be that she just doesnt know what to talk about, or how to talk about anything other than gossip.
     
  3. LSWHAT?

    LSWHAT? New Member

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    Yeah, we'll be talking about something and she'll just say "Oh, guess who called me today..blah blah blah.." and im like, oh,now, back to what we were talking about.
     
  4. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    hmm...instinct tells me attention whore if she is always bringing the topic back to her. does she talk about her girl friends as much as the guys, or is it only about the guys?

    i dunno dude. it would bother me too, especially bc she knows it bothers you and thats not very respectfull on her part. sorry, i cant help....
     
  5. LSWHAT?

    LSWHAT? New Member

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    all about guys, and then she gets mad and is like "wtf dont talk about that shit" when I say something about another girl.

    I think its about time to break off everything with her, because like you said, shes an AW and will always be one. Damnit, I really liked her too. :hs:
     
  6. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    It's for the better. Some (most) girls think they are entitled to attention :sad2:
     
  7. LSWHAT?

    LSWHAT? New Member

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    I guess...this girl is great though, personality is good, she has a nice body, but i guess shes just insecure and needs it. sigh...who knows. crazy women.
     
  8. Girder_Shade

    Girder_Shade OT Supporter

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    I hate attention whores.

    I used to like this girl who was like that, her and I were pretty close and we talked heaps she knew I liked her and she was single and seemed to be cool with it but she would always talk about other guys in her life.

    Fucking pissed me off so I eventually gave her the flick, couldn't even be bothered asking her out cause she was obviously an attention whore because she would always say "oooh im ugly" "guys hate me blah blah blah" but then keep talking about herself.

    Attention Whores are t3h l0se.
     
  9. I can't tell you exactly what I'd say if I was in your situation, but if I had to take a guess here is how the conversation would go [maybe this will help you]. I'd only say something if I was interested in a long term relationship. A lot of girls will talk about men to challenge you and see how serious you are about them. They also do it to see if you've got the courage to tell them to knock it the fuck off. I'm not kidding.

    Her: I love talking to ______, he's so funny, and nice.
    Me: *listening*
    Her: Hey did I tell you about ______, he's this other guy that I hung out with on Friday.
    Me: *listening*
    Her: ________ bought me this really cool trinket, and I wish I could hang out with him this weekend.
    Me: *listening*
    Her: What's wrong? Why aren't you talking?
    Me: Listen darling, I enjoy spending time with you and really like you a lot, and I'd like to date you exclusively, but I've already told you previously that I don't appreciate listening to your stories about other guys. If you're trying to make me jealous, or insecure, or if you're unaware you're doing it - either way the result is the same and I'm not thrilled because it's not appropriate. If you respect me, you'll stop talking about these things, otherwise our relationship is never going to grow.
    Her: But, But, But, why are you making such a big deal out of this? They're just friends. Don't be lame. Don't be so sensitive. You're overreacting. I respect you. You're just jealous.
    Me: *listening*...............[Then I get up, put my jacket on, and walk out]
     
  10. johan

    johan Active Member

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    He's right.

    If you get weird static that isn't right, you've got to call her on it.
    Otherwise once you start down the road of knuckling under to her, forever dominate your destiny it will.

    She could be doing it to "test" you as MB mentions, or she could be doing it less consciously, and simply because she's an immature attention whore.

    You should not stand for improper behaviour. Well, you might put up with it for a little while, but only if you're not looking for solid marriage material, and the pussy is indeed *that* good.

    Otherwise, it's a losing proposition in the long term.

    PS. It goes without saying that you shouldn't be acting like a asshat either. Otherwise the situation becomes less clear. You should still do the above, just clean up your own act too.
     
  11. LSWHAT?

    LSWHAT? New Member

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    i told her about it today, and she just acted like nothing happened :ugh:

    She also told me she loves to get drunk around other guys and thinks its fun to wake up naked the next morning and wonder what happened. I told her I didn't wanna see her anymore and took her home.
     
  12. You're a good man. Wise choice, and you acted with tact. She'll hopefully find her way eventually, but you were looking for something that just wasn't there.
     
  13. LSWHAT?

    LSWHAT? New Member

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    shes an extremely nice girl, but i guess an AW will always be an AW.

    time to move on.
     
  14. Negative

    Negative New Member

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    I dated a girl for 3 years. We were in love and I never imagined she'd ever cheat on me. Then I found out that her "girl's night out" to some dance club she'd go to, she never once went home with the girls she went with. Then I found out she had sex with her best friend's boyfriend while we were together. Then I found out she went on a date with the guy she's currently seeing now about a week before we broke up. You cannot trust a woman, no matter how genuine or sincere she may appear to be.
     
  15. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    im sorry to hear you had a bad expierance. i hope you realize broad generalizations wont help you get over her.
     
  16. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    wow... :eek3: good move.

    i'm curious tho :o. did she say anything about you not wanting to see her again? was she upset at all?
     
  17. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    If she's a true AW, she'd be slightly confused by the lack of favourable response on his part, then shrug it off and move on. If she had any feelings at all for him, the reaction should have given her pause.
     
  18. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    'innocent until proven guilty'

    Use that in the back of your mind, everyone deserves at least 1 chance, and i think it would be fair to her and yourself to give her that chance, she might have a rich outgoing life with loads of friends, and yes possible competitors, but as long as she doesn't voilate your feelings you shouldn't become a victim of the paranoid and let yourself go haywire and start accusing things and seeing phantoms that aren't even there. If you are constantly afraid of her cheating on your , you might as wel be afraid of your own shadow. It's good to always be a little suspicious, that's normal, and even recommended. But don't let it take over your life. Everyone's heart can change , even with you. So try to hold up a candle and let your faith in her shine as long as she doesn't proven guilty cheat on you. Relax, and breathe deep. If she really loves you she will stay with you.
     
  19. Filmboy44

    Filmboy44 Guest


    easy solution for a light situation.

    Facts: you like her. She likes you. She discusses guys around you. You get jealous.

    Solution: be open and honest with her. You said you already told her it bothers you but have you REALLY told her how you feel and that it bothers you? open up to her, don't be afraid to show your feelings to a girl...open up. You first and foremost have to establish that trust between you two before getting into a relationship unless its purely sexual. If you can't trust her on cheating, then you shouldn't be with her.

    But first, talk to her...I mean really TALK to her
     
  20. Folks, he already ended it. He wrote about it 3 or 4 posts up.
     
  21. johan

    johan Active Member

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    It's just so weird to have someone take decisive action so quickly. Most un-Asylum-like.
     
  22. It's true. Even I have trouble doing that. One issue I'm dealing with right now is my addiction with the main forum. I don't like the person I become when I post there, and yet, I'm not quite ready to stop.

    That's one example.
     
  23. LSWHAT?

    LSWHAT? New Member

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    She said "Jay, I really like you, but you're not going to tell me to stop talking to my friends" I replied with "I'm not telling you to stop talking to them, I just don't you to talk to me about them all the time." Then she was like "Well, if you feel that way I guess there's nothing I can do to change it."

    Yeah, shes not the brightest.


    Sorry I replied so late, I haven't checked this in forever.
     
  24. It's not that she's not bright. It's the fact that she doesn't want to take responsibility for her behavior. It's easier to place the burden at your feet and say it's your problem. It's self-centered and selfish really. She's not thinking about how it makes you feel [i.e. not walking in your shoes].
     
  25. Bleed

    Bleed New Member

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    immature and insecure
     

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