1. is arousing jealousy typically used to encourage or discourage advances? 2. how do you tell the difference between an attempt to encourage from an attempt to discourage action by arousing jealousy? - i'm at a bar with a girl friend. on the way back, she makes a point to keep mentioning that she's working closely with the guy she came in with. as the three of us walkd, she's chatty/playful with him, talks about guys being from where he is as being oh so good, and even offers him her coat because it was cold (yes, wtf). she easily could've used a better looking guy, so i just roll my eyes. - i have dinner with a girl friend. right after dinner she lets me know that her (guy) friends are picking her up to go clubbing. it's a little sudden and uncommon (usually we go for coffee/dessert), and i'm certain the abruptness of it was deliberate. - a girl friend stayed at a male colleague's place overnight to work on a project. she makes a point to mention that a lot of co-workers did similar due to the weight of the project, that nothing happened, she's not interested in the guy, etc. - another girl friend mentions a guy who's come onto her recently. asks me whether she should consider going out with him after talking a bit about the type of guy he is, her expectations, etc. i tell her to go for it. a few days later she says she's decided not to see him even for a date. it's a simplistic to say "if girl likes you, she will try to make you jealous." but i'm sure there are similarities in all attempts where people use jealousy to demonstrate value/increase attraction. is there a rule of thumb to the whole thing?