SRS I've got trust issues with women...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by AlohaRacing, Feb 15, 2006.

  1. AlohaRacing

    AlohaRacing Freak that bitch out

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    :hsugh:

    My ex gf played me until I found out about it...this was over a year ago.

    I began a new relationship with a great girl in August, who then had to move to the East Coast for work in November (I'm in CA).

    Her commitment there is 2 years. She said she will come back to CA, which is the only reason I agreed to "try" and keep what we have going. A lot can happen to 2 years, so it's a big gamble for me especially when viewed in an "opportunity cost" perspective.

    As time goes on, I find it more and more difficult. I still have trust issues... She hasn't given me any reason to worry, but negative thoughts seem to enter my mind on a daily basis about betrayl and loyalty on her end.

    If it keeps up, I'm not sure how long I can continue. I really like her too. :(

    /venting session
     
  2. Panoptimist

    Panoptimist Put a bangin' donk on it.

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    It's alright man. But what I think you're going to end up having to do, is just let things go for two years. Keep in touch, keep things close, but don't hold eachother to anything. It'll be for the better. You'll have your freedoms, she'll have hers. Besides, as time goes on, you're immediate emotional feelings for her will slip away, and you won't feel so worried about it. I'm in the same situation. I went to Germany for the summer, met a great girl, one like I've never met before in my life. We had the greatest time, we never got sick of eachother, we clicked so well. We had our own special love for eachother which we both fully recognized. I had never been so secure with someone of the opposite sex. I came back home, and of course, she stayed where she lived. She's planning on coming to the states next summer (not the upcoming one). The love that we had for eachother we will never forget, and we constantly remind eachother through email correspondence. The feelings we have are the same, but I don't "miss" her the way I used to when I first left her. I mean, the day I left it didn't really sink in, but a week later and I was missing this girl to tears. Now, we've both got our own lives, but I have no doubt in confedence that once she gets back, things will immediately be the same. Things will be that way for you too, if the feelings still remain and are strong. A lot can happen in two years..
     
  3. Ded Guy Walkin

    Ded Guy Walkin New Member

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    So do you plan on staying single until you two meet again? Is she going to hold out too? And when she comes over summer of 2007, what then? Not doubting your relationship, just curious as to how other people make long distance/long term relationships work. Either way, good luck man!
     
  4. Ded Guy Walkin

    Ded Guy Walkin New Member

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    bummer man. I have an idea of what youre going through, and to be honest, 2 years is a long time. If you dont mind me askin, how old are you both? Are you out of college and working? Are you flexible enough to move out east if she truly is "the one"?
     
  5. Devilish

    Devilish Remind me AGAIN

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    Hate to be harsh but you've got two choices. 1. Convince yourself that she is trustworthy (because she hasn't proved otherwise), and keep pushing those crazy thoughts out of your head, or 2. Forget about her and move on.
     
  6. Jay Pheezy

    Jay Pheezy New Member

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    Your trust issues are natural obviously. I agree with the first reply. Keep in touch and semi-close, but you don't have to make it exclusive.. example: you guys can see other people. But.. make sure that is mutually agreed on. It's key here to make an agreement both of you want.
     
  7. AlohaRacing

    AlohaRacing Freak that bitch out

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    We're both 27, working full time in stable careers. I'm not going to move out to the East Coast...and already established that with her.
     
  8. Ded Guy Walkin

    Ded Guy Walkin New Member

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    ahh, dang. Well that definatley limits the options. Yeah, everyone else put it perfectly. Keep it close but light. Good luck man
     
  9. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    Maybe your just over-thinking and letting your imagination get the best of you. If you do not have any reason not to trust her, why rock the boat?
     
  10. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    I realize what your saying and I can see how it makes sense. But when you've been played and you have got patterns or tits and vagina failing you it's hard to give it another chance. I've been in those shoes and think I still am. I grew up with a mentality of trust no one and still hold it. So far It's been working for me as everyone seems to break my trust at one point or another.
     
  11. Ded Guy Walkin

    Ded Guy Walkin New Member

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    Do you think you're subconsciously looking for people that are more likely to betray you? Kinda of a self fulfilling prophesy?
     
  12. miniml

    miniml New Member

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    i too have trust issues.

    my last relationship (1.5 years long) ended as a result of me being far too over bearing. i dont blame her, and im (somehow) cool with the girl who made me like this, but id give just about anything to be more trusting.
     
  13. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Trust takes time, the longer she shows to be faithfull the more trust you should give her. Its ok to be a little suspicious, but don't become a victim of the paranoid.
     
  14. American SuperBeast

    American SuperBeast New Member

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    Long distance relationships are hard and trust during them is even harder just try to hope she isn't like your ex who played you and instead just will be true to her word and then if she is everything is all good. Good luck
     

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