SRS I've got the blues

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by cooldragon, Sep 8, 2009.

  1. cooldragon

    cooldragon New Member

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    I feel like i need to start my life all over again. I am so pissed and sad at the same time. Nothing has been going right for me and i dont even know where to start.

    First, my school that i am going to is horrible. I put myself in the situation though. I screwed up really bad in school and i am at a college with a bunch of 40 year olds and the classes are all horrible. I feel like a big time loser being here. My GPA is too low to go to a good state school with people my age. Only good thing is i am doing good in school so i should get my degree but i dont want to be here.

    Social life is what is killing me the most. I have some good friends i can count on but they all either have girlfriends and the others dont like to do much. All we do is play poker and thats about it. I dont have any places where i go to meet new people new girls or anything.

    the other thing i have been dealing with is my ex girlfriend or soon to be ex. She wanted to breakup a month ago but we decided we could work it out. however, she never wants to c me and when i make plans she always says she is tired and cant. She would call me all the time and talk but never wanted to c me. In the last 2 weeks i have only seen her once. The last time i talked to her a few days ago asking her if i can c her and she made up some bullshit again and i got pissed and just hung up. I havent talked to her the last 3 days.
    I miss her alot and i really want to call her and hope things change but i know she really doesnt care anymore. IT sucks big time and i just want to forget about her. I know if i contact her it would be pointless and i will keep feeling bad that she doesnt give a shit. If she does decide to call me i want to just end it and thats killing me. I dont want to but thats the only choice i got left.

    i keep thinking she will move on no problem while i am stuck in a crappy school with basically no social life. in the back of my mind i keep thinking i am not good enough to be with someone and my confidence is completly shot. I keep thinking i dont know how to get a social life, i am in a school i dont want to be at, and i dont know how to get another girl. I feel like a complete mess an failure and i dont know where to go from here. the only thing that i feel good about is i am going to school and trying to finish my degree. Other than that i feel incompetent and feel like i am not good enough
     
  2. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    If you feel like a loser, imagine how the 40-year-olds feel. At least you're going at the proper time in your life. Maybe you can transfer after a couple of years.

    You can't really fault your friends for being totally involved with their SOs -- that's just how things work, they get sick of each other and start hanging out with other couples. Unfortunately couples don't usually hang out with singles, unless they are at least platonic friends of the opposite sex; it's the whole "third wheel" thing if it's just an extra guy or girl.

    There are a lot of women who need their men to never have problems they can't deal with on their own, usually the ones who are more in need of a father than a son. Obviously the ideal is to need an equal partner, but in reality they're always a little above or below the mark, and the same is true of men. I myself am significantly more in need of a mother than a daughter -- probably why all of my girlfriends have been older than me, and each older than the last.

    Anyway...back to talking about you...

    It sounds like as soon as you started needing validation, she couldn't deal with it, and now she wants out. That sucks, but it's not like she could've provided for you even if she'd stayed. You were already either a good match or not, all you were doing was finding out what the score was -- and unfortunately there are plenty of times you don't really find out until years later. At least you didn't get married to her for 25 years before finding out, like my dad did. Remember, every dark grey cloud has a slightly-lighter-grey lining. Go find a girl who needs to save someone, that should help, just don't get hooked on it.

    I can't help you on the social life part; if you come up with any good ideas, let me know.
     
  3. Alpha Q Up

    Alpha Q Up New Member

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    Theres nothing you can do about school but man up. I was in the same situation, fucked around in HS, went to shitty ass DeVry University (i hated it, if it worked for you more power to you), and then wound up in a CC. I got a 3.5 GPA here and im lookin to transfer to any UC i want, (USC if im lucky =D).

    As for freinds, they got ladies, it should be expected. You got 2 options, make some new freinds or get one yourself.

    Idk what kind of girls your into, but if im looking, i go to place where the ones id have interest would be. If im lookin for a girl who is into music, id go to a music store (not crappy best buy, or other stores like that but a real bona fide music store like Raputin's or Amoeba) Brainy girls go to the library (try a college library, not a public one, most often you wont need an ID to get in) or a bookstore with a coffeeshop built in is a gold mine.

    However if this doesnt work for you have you thought about a dating site? Theres a good faq in the Vaginarium and it works pretty well imo.

    www.plentyoffish.com is the one i use. free and its pretty legit, just full of ads but they dont get in the way.

    Hope you fix your situation bro, lifes too short to piss it away worrying about trivial things
     
  4. cooldragon

    cooldragon New Member

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    One thing that i have been pissed off and mopy about is that my ex is completly fine with the breakup. She doesnt care about the relationship and what we had while me on the other hand is heartbroken. I hate her because to me its like she just can live normally while i am suffering.

    she keeps pushing me to be friends and was telling me if u still want to be together you wont be a priority which is pathetic. I cant do either and i need to let her know that i dont want that. at the same time i dont want to lose contact but i think that is for the best.

    The other thing is i am not too great at picking up women. I never really learned and the last one just kind of happened. I dont know how to approach or anything. I dont really even have any female friends. I dont know where to start with all of this and what i need to do to improve myself and get a better life.

    I am planning on working out hardcore and getting myself in shape but social life i dont know where to start. I have some people at work i can initiate to hang out with but i feel really down and just not in a good mood to do anything at all. I just want to erase her from my memory and never have any rememberance of her at all so i can concentrate on more important things.
     
  5. Alpha Q Up

    Alpha Q Up New Member

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    I was in your spot once. This chick i was with in HS was like this. I was supposed to take her to prom and all that blah blah. she ditches me for her childhood best freind boyfreind BS idk, but she still wanted to be freinds and if her relationship didnt work shed come back to me. I laughed at her and cut her off like the cancer she was. You gotta do the same, if they dont respect you, you cannot respect them.

    Confidence is everything with woman, good grammer, good posture, eye contact, all that jazz. Im out of shape and i do ok :cool:
     
  6. Daria

    Daria New Member

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    :hsugh:
    .....alot of people go back to school to switch careers

    To the thread starter, you have alot of self esteem issues. You seem to feel like a loser because you don't like your school and you're letting your girlfriend hold you in a relationship you don't need.

    No matter how shitty your school is, at least you are IN school and doing something with your life. You should feel proud of yourself for accomplishing what you do every day. If you don't, you should probably speak with a councellor.

    If your girlfriend never wants to see you, it's going to be painful to stay in that relationship. I strongly recommend that you leave this relationship. You will feel better about yourself in a more successful relationship anyways.

    As for the social problems, try hanging out with some of the people in your classes. Sure they may be older than you, but I'm sure some of them would know how to have a good time.
     
  7. johan

    johan Active Member

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    You need to finish up school, get that degree, and get a good job.

    The rest, money, self-esteem, confidence comes after that.

    Oh sure there are temporary measures you can do, but I won't waste your time with that.

    True, genuine, solid-to-the-core confidence comes from knowing that you actually are worth a shit, that you actually are damn fucking good at what you do, and that you actually have more than two nickels to rub together.

    Get on that path. You've tasted the crappy side of life, low gpa, going nowhere, no future, no girls, nothing.



    Hard work is what gets you onto the other side.

    Don't bother with girls now. The quality of woman who will want to be with the future you .... is unimaginable to you as you are now.

    Would YOU want to be with the present you?

    Probably not. So don't bother with that.


    Get your life in gear. Starting tomorrow.
     
  8. cooldragon

    cooldragon New Member

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    All i have been thinking about is what happened and what did i do wrong. I am overanalyzing the last 6 months and keep thinking about how i should have acted differently in different situations. it doesnt do me any good to do this but i keep doing it.

    I know it will never work out but i still want her back and its just because i feel alone and lonely. i keep comparing myself to her thinking shes got everything and doesnt even care.

    i know i need to get my life on track and academically i am. other than that i need to improve on alot of things.

    i want to talk to her but i know it wont get me anywhere. She called me and texted me yesterday but i didnt respond. Should i just let her know not to contact me at all or just leave it.
     
  9. Daily

    Daily yliaD Bidness

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    Based on your description, the relationship as I see it has gone sour, tell her straight front that you would want to end it, if she says she is okay with it, you should be okay with it too, let yourself be free from all the bullshit and focus on your own thing. If however she wants to rekindle the relationship, do it with the mindset of letting her be free, do not constantly smother her and do not put so much into her, again, concentrate on the stuff you want to work on, she will come to you when she needs you. Treat her well when she does.
     
  10. Daria

    Daria New Member

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    People like that are missing the necessary skills for self-sufficiency. If something happens in her life where she needs help and no one is willing to give her a handout, she may be unable to handle it.

    You, on the other hand, have been to rock bottom and you know how to get yourself out. That is a great accomplishment and you should be proud of yourself for being able to do something like that. Having to fend for yourself makes life so much brighter when you have finally used those skills to get what you want out of life. To people who haven't had to work for it, they just expect that having a good life is normal and to be expected and don't have that happiness in their hearts like you will one day.
     
  11. cooldragon

    cooldragon New Member

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    hmm i ended up not ending the relationship because she didnt want to and i kind of put myself in the mindset that whatever happens happens.

    its been about few weeks and its been fine. everything has been going fine and i have seen her more often. However i ran into another issue.

    she made plans with her friend to hang out and they both ended up hanging out with guys that her friend knew. She hung out with them the other day and told me she talked to the guy she met for like 3 hours last night.

    She was messing with me in the morning that he is my new boyfriend and whatever i know she was kidding but it bothered me. she says he is just a friend but she maybe wants to get to know him better. I told her if she wants to do that then no point in us being together and she tells me to calm down and not worry about it. Again, to me its like if u want to get to know him more thats a slap in the face.

    I keep trying to just not care but something always happens and i am just wondering if its my jealousy that i need to control or is she fueling it and its not right for her to do that
     

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