SRS I've been told to cut and run... what should I do????

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by ttaMllewoD, Jan 1, 2007.

  1. ttaMllewoD

    ttaMllewoD New Member

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    Ok So I've been dating this girl for 3 months on the 2nd, not that long, not that short, but we hit it off like crazy. We opened up to each other, within the second day we were able to share thing with each other pretty openly while at the same time still getting to know each other. So she's really attractive, 5'8'', slender, brown hair, gorgeous blue eyes, and a cute smile. She has such an innocent presence about her it's hard to be mean at times... until she has her ex-boyfriends calling her. She has one who calls her and she never answers and she has a couple that call every so often, and she has one who she swore up and down that he was just a

    friend. The dated for a few weeks but it wasnt anything big, and they both agreed to break up, only after he had kissed another girl while living in Orlando. He lives there now and she lives where I do, and spends the night at my house quite often. I'm 18, she's 18, and I am living with my parents. We work together so she spends the night to be able to make it to work because otherwise it's over 1/2 an hour drive. Anyways, something about this guy who lives in Orlando, his name is I'll say Jimmy for certain reasons, Jimmy calls her multiple times a day and sends multiple txt's. No matter how much we discussed it it seemed like all we ever argued about was Jimmy and him calling so much. So she stopped answering the phone when she was around me. We were on our way down to Miami for a modeling thing for her and we stopped by to see him because

    according to her they are really good friends and I am a trusting guy. I had a knot in my stomach the whole time, and before we went in she asked me not to be all lovey because it might make it awkward... in my head that made sense, besides I trust her. So we get done seeing him for like 15 minutes and before they go he kisses her, where what looked like on the lips, but she swears it wasn't and actually got mad at me for getting upset about it. So we get back from our trip and this arguing about him goes by, I ask why she is allowing him to become the big problem between us if she cares so much about me. She gets angry at about everything I bring up related to it. Jimmy asks if she will come to Orlando for his birthday, and I have to go a few states north to visit family with my family anyways. I agree to it, but want to talk to Jimmy just to have it sit well. Jimmy lives with his mom, and my girl is planning on staying from the 28th of december until the 4th of january. She is still down there, but here's whats happened. The day before she left, and I was already

    away visiting, I sent Jimmy a text telling him who it was," hey this is so and so's boyfriend, could you take care of her for me, she means the world to me." Simple, easy, keep me in mind, and respect me, straight to the point. He talks to her an is confused, asks her... I thought I was your boyfriend, she tells me she explains it to him and he still wants her to come. By this time I have a burning searing pain in my gut, and I plead with her not to go but she wants to anyways. So she goes down there and the first day she is there, Jimmy tells me to stop calling his gf and let him have this week and enjoy it (his gf= my gf), I freak out like a natural sensitive guy, and my girl won't answer her phone. Another day goes by and I don't hardly talk to her at all. So at the end of that second day I had had enough and decided that I was getting treated like crap, she promised me she would talk to me when I wanted to and she'd let me know what they were doing... which

    she didn't. So I had hell on earth for a day, then talked to a couple old friends, one of which basically told me straight up that she was messin around and that I should just ask her flat out. Well long story coming to an end, I assumed she is messing around and that she is dating us both, and that she deceived me in everything she did, which is not her personality at all. So I gave her a task tonight, she stop 'dating' him tonight, period. She didn't seem very happy but i'm not putting up with that, now the question is, even if she didn't do

    anything with him, which could have happened, but also could not have been the case, is the lingering trust issue going to be too much to be able to have a relationship with this girl from now on. She promised me before she went that she wouldnt talk to him anymore or go again, just thought I'd add that. So what do you think those who decided to endure through this.
     
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  2. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    By chance could you put that into paragraphs so it's easy to read? I can't make sense of that huge jumble of words....

    mod edit:done
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 1, 2007
  3. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

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    Yes that was very hard to read.

    A quick overview is that you are being treated like shit. Why put up with it? Normally I'm against cutting off contact with friends because of a request from your partner, but in this case there are obviously other issues here so it seems reasonable.

    I'd probably move on.
     
  4. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Been there done that. No matter how beautifull this girl is, you are being ripped apart in a triangle relationship. Its like a black hole you get sucked in. All these forces are pulling at you, and in your mind you are gonig beserk.

    I did what was right for my sanity, i bailed out. Closed the gate and said adios. Usually then they start calling you wanting you back. Emotionally it was extremely hard, but i knew that i had to close myself against the hurt.

    Do yourself a favor and jump out of this mess. You can see that she is keeping her ex in her life no matter what you do.

    Its the old i have to be nr.1 in your life. If you aren't her nr.1 and she keeps being involved with other guys, then it means she isn't fully comitted to you. Demand that she fully commits herself to you, if she isn't able to do that. Take hard measures and bail out.
     
  5. darnit

    darnit New Member

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    She a nice girl that likes to play the field.
    Just because a person clicks and shares doesnt mean they are exclusive. Thats an assumption alot of folks make;just because you sleep with someone doesnt mean thier exclusive either.
    You have to set the ground rules after a couple of weeks.
    Alot of folks assume because you feel like your exclusive.. they think the same.. even dating has some pitfalls of assumptions..
    People are raised/believe differently.
    I dated a girl who told me" I know we are dating, and we are exclusive.. but I am not looking for anything permanate.. if I decide to sleep with someone else, I will let you know first.. or before we see each other again"
    It took me a bit to digest as I had never been in that type of situation before.. but once I understood it,, being I didnt really want permanance either.. I accepted it.
     
  6. Martinj

    Martinj New Member

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    If you want to be exclusive with her, then cut and run, what makes you think that she hasn't told him that she has dumped you...and how the hell did she get him thinking that they were together and spent the night at his place? I mean, do you truely think that she is not going to pull something like this again?
     
  7. ttaMllewoD

    ttaMllewoD New Member

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    Thanks for the ernest replies, I appreciate them.

    Ok so we've been talking a little bit, and she'll be back here in a couple days. I honest to God love her, no joke, I really do. She lives near me, not him, and I said that if we are going to work, he needs to disappear, otherwise i'm done. I also told her that if change is going to be made she needs to make an effort to change and not go into another one of these relationship stumbling blocks knowing beforehand, we can't work if she can't change.
     

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