SRS It's difficult to witness life exiting...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by ebbnflo, Oct 5, 2006.

  1. ebbnflo

    ebbnflo REAL- LAOT Hermit

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    ...pretty much any living thing, at least for me it is. I apologize to bugs if I have to exterminate them. LOL That's how I am.

    So, yesterday morning one of my dogs died. She was my Rottweiler, Kali.
    We had her for close to 9 years. I didn't want her to be euthanized, and I wanted her to be in a familiar place shen she died. I stayed with her until she passed, and even though it was hard as hell. I didn't look away. I kept petting her and talking to her. BUT OMG it was HORRIBLE, she wasn't really in pain or anything, she was just doing the thing that some animals and people do as they are breathing their last. She was having labored breathing, pretty steadily for less than an hour or so, and then she started having those "gasps" where she'd open her mouth to breath in, and the breaths got farther and farther apart until she finally died.

    I know I will be okay, but, because it JUST happened, I am having the images invade my thoughts a lot. It's just not easy to see that happen.

    Not really asking for advice or anything like that, just sort of venting, I guess.
     
  2. tehshift

    tehshift Member

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    :hug: I'm sorry to hear about Kali.

    We have a dog named Kali as well. She was named after the hindu goddess, lol.
     
  3. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    i do the same things you do, ebb, and you're right its not easy.

    pets especially. sometimes you wonder why you got them and got so attached to them in the first place, knowing full well they're never going to outlive you and one day you'll have to watch them die. its a terrible feeling.

    i'm sorry for your loss. i know what you mean about the images as well. i ran over a squirrel a few months ago and i couldn't get the image of the little bugger out of my head. a squirrel for god's sake :hs:
     
  4. ebbnflo

    ebbnflo REAL- LAOT Hermit

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    Thanks for the av compliment. I am actually a Mrs., BTW.:)

    I have never seen any of the dogs I've had, actually die. This was a first for me.I had hamsters as a kid. I did watch a couple of them die, and I had to take a cat to be euthanized, about 10 years ago. Never a dog though. I was very little when our family's german sheperd died, and my brother just found her dead. Our next dog ran away when I was in HS, and we never found her. The dog after that, (the previous dog's puppy) died when he was 13 (and I was 23), so I saw him before he died, and he was in bad shape, he just couldn't stand up, could barely lift his head. My father took him to be euthanized. But, remembering how that dog looked (that was 13 tears ago) I could clearly see that Kali was on her way out, because she was behaving in much the same way.

    She actually probably would have been euthanized at a very young age if we hadn't adopted her. She had, issues, mental ones....she was kind of "special needs". EXTREMELY timid, and quirky. When we got her, my heart went out to her because she was SO shy, cowing in a corner(and she peed herself when my husband and I started petting her). And I think no one in his/her right mind would choose a dog like this, but I thought for sure it was just a phase, and I could get her over it with some TLC. While she did get better, she never fully got "over" her issues. Taking her to get her rabies shot was a major production, as she was petrified of going anywhere beyond our house, and she'd just turn herself into dead weight, and sometimes urinate or defacate while we were trying to put her into a travel kennel to get her to a vet. She never hurt a soul. She was anxious, but never lashed out in fear.

    She was just very very shy and sweet.

    I don't even really know for sure what happened, but she started eating less, and suddenly she just looked awful, and died. It happened very fast. I am not sure what the average life span for a Rottie is. I will have to look it up. She wasn't young, but I didn't think she was all that old either. (she was around 9 years old) My other 2 dogs are close to the same age, and they seem perfectly healthy... I dunno. I guess she was just ready to go.
     
  5. tenxia

    tenxia OT Supporter

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    At least you got to be by her side. Some ppl's dogs get run over etc. which is really sad.
     
  6. ebbnflo

    ebbnflo REAL- LAOT Hermit

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    True. I am actually glad I stayed with her when it happened. I'm hoping that was at least some comfort to her.
     
  7. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    I'm certain it was comforting to her. Dogs are pack animals and IMO they want to be with their pack through everything. Death is part of life and I definitely want loved ones with me when I take that step into the forgotten. I say forgotten because I'm a firm believer in life after death.

    I'm not getting religious but I believe there is more to this life then we currently are aware of. I believe the stuff that makes us alive, lives on when we die. Not the physical matter but the spiritual stuff.

    As a kid I never wanted to be present with pets passed or had to be put down. I dunno, I just didn't want to be there. I also didn't want to see my father or brother at the funeral homes before their funerals. But as I've aged, this has changed. I wanted to, and was able to, be with my step father as he passed away. I hated seeing him in that condition because I loved him a lot. Yes, I still see those images of him lying in the bed and me feeling so helpless and him seeming so helpless.

    But, it's been over 2 years since he passed and all I really see now are the times when he was healthy and we got to spend time together. When the less-than-pretty pictures come back to my mind....I simply try to replace those images with one that is less sad. It works pretty well and now I really only see those happier pictures. It takes time...but it does get better.

    Oh and I agree about the AV...if that's a pic of you, you are a very pretty woman. I've always loved the dark hair, light eye combination. Recessive genes FTW! :)
     
  8. ebbnflo

    ebbnflo REAL- LAOT Hermit

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    I agree... I dunno if it's spiritual or what it should be called, but I think that "energy" contained in a living thing doesn't fizzle out and disappear.... it's gotta GO somewhere, I think. It's almost like you can "feel" it leaving.... I dunno how to explain it....

    Yeah, that's me, but I won't lie, my natural haircolor is lighter than that. I just don't like it that light. I've been coloring dark auburn, or some shade of red (sometimes red and black) for....eeek, like, 16 years.
    Anyway, my eyes are actually blue, at least. LOL I didn't change those.
    Thanks.
     
  9. ebbnflo

    ebbnflo REAL- LAOT Hermit

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    This is the most recent I have of her. It was back in July. She's extremely grubby and dirty from digging/rolling around in the mud. She was concerned about me pointing a camera at her.
    [​IMG]

    I have 2 other dogs, actually. (and 3 cats, and a ferret) I do not intend to get another dog, even after the other 2 dogs pass away.

    Our 8 yr old daughter is now starting to "get" that Kali is really gone. She was kind of in shock for a couple days, but she burst into tears about it last night.

    My 4 year old daughter is still pretty clueless. I don't think it will affect her as much as it does to my older child.

    Feels pretty awful to see your kid :wtc: like that.
     
  10. keleko

    keleko yes, he is

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    i have no problem stomping the fuck outta bugs every chance i get

    indifferent to small aminals (that's life), but pets are a whole 'nother story
     
  11. keleko

    keleko yes, he is

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    you miss what i mean

    you have a connection with PETS, not with some random squirrel in the middle of montana





    /and i'll still stomp bugs
     
  12. keleko

    keleko yes, he is

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    now you're just being an ass and really not paying attention to what i am saying

    had enough of you now, go away
     
  13. ebbnflo

    ebbnflo REAL- LAOT Hermit

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    Actually, I "got" what keleko was saying. It's no big whoop. Keleko stomps bugs and it doesn't "bug" him. (Oh sweet mercy, I sounded just like my corny late Grandfather just now.)

    And, I do something like this when I have to exterminate one.:
    1) Prior to whacking it with my shoe or something, I begin by saying, " Sorry spider." (or whatever the bug may be)

    2) Then as I am actually killing it I am practically chanting, "Sorry, spider, sorry spider, sorry sorry sorry...."

    It makes me feel a teeny tiny bit less guilty, but either way, I am still killing the bug.

    Klaatu has different opinions about life energy, and all living beings, and I respect that, AND Keleko's, whether I agree 100% or not with either.

    ...And thank you both for the condolences.
     
  14. Kev07

    Kev07 New Member

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    sorry for your loss, but i'm curious, how did you know when she was giong to die?
     
  15. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    *hugs*

    Id give all my money to get my cat back.When that time finally came that she had to be put asleep I couldn't do it, nor could my mom bring her to the vet for euthanesia. My dad who is less close to animals had to do it.

    I closed myself emotionally immediatly like shutting a window.Called myself in sick for 3 days at work.After that i tried not think a thought or anything about my cat anymore,i know i would not be able to bear with it, Im taking a very long time to process it, even after more then a year, i can't look to her picture without starting to cry, and i cant think about her (yes even with this thread) i started to cry.

    Gosh well, i advice to tell yourself and your children that your dog has gone to doggie heaven and is having a great time, and that you will see her back one day when you go yourself, that was most comforting to me,and gives hope for the future.
     
  16. Bear Klaw

    Bear Klaw Guest

    what did you do with the body?

    I've had my dog for a little over 10 years. she has bad hips issue to which she has a very hard time walking and it just keeps getting worse and worse. she can't get up steps at all now with out help. I know sometime soon, she's going to have to go. It saddens me a lot about it. She my first dog and i could'nt think about having another one aside from her. I plan to bury her in my yard. I'm not sure if i am allowed but i will do it anyway.
     
  17. Bear Klaw

    Bear Klaw Guest

  18. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    here's some ideas to hopefully help you ditch the guilt for good.

    I have a very good friend that's also very spiritual and his take on bugs is that they come to him to die. He's like the Jack Korvician (sp??) for bugs. In case anyone doesn't get it, Jack Kor. was a doctor that used to help people commit suicide.

    My brother's take on it is hey, we all have to have space to live in this world. I have space and it's no less valid then any other creatures space. If I invade a stronger, deadlier creatures space (think lions, and tigers and bears, OH MY) then I expect they'll kill me just like I'm going to kill the bugs.

    I agree with both of them.
     
  19. ebbnflo

    ebbnflo REAL- LAOT Hermit

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    Basically it was because she looked just like the dog I had when I was growing up, who passed when I was 23. She looked the way he did on the day he died. There is a certain "look" to a dog when they are on their way out. I don't know how to explain it. They are weak and the breathing is labored. They look like a newborn baby deer when they struggle to stand up, IF they can stand up. Also I think maybe it was just an instinctive feeling I had when I saw her.

    It happened so fast. It was only about 4-5 hours from the time I looked at her (when my daughter went out to feed the dogs) and noticed she didn't look right, to the time she died.

    :(
     
  20. ebbnflo

    ebbnflo REAL- LAOT Hermit

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    Since I don't entirely subscribe to the concept of Heaven, I didn't tell my daughter that. But I did tell her that sometimes it's best for an animal or person who is very sick, to just let go and die, because the body they are using, isn't serving them well enough anymore, and that it's better to die quickly rather than suffer for a prolonged amount of time.
     
  21. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    You could always catch the bugs and put them outside. That's what I do. Just cuz it happened to find its way into your house doesn't mean it should die.

    Then again, a lot of my thoughts on that are influenced by Buddhism.

    And sorry for your loss.

    Kotchy, did your dog break into your cabinet where you store blank CDs? :rofl:
     
  22. ebbnflo

    ebbnflo REAL- LAOT Hermit

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    We buried her in our yard. Planted a rose bush over the burial spot.

    The dog I had that passed when I was 23 had arthritic hips. He was unable to stand anymore on the day he was euthanized. Sad.
     

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