SRS its been 4days now since i found out that my gf cheated on me.... :wtc:

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by LS Boy, Jan 15, 2006.

  1. LS Boy

    LS Boy OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2000
    Messages:
    36,932
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Hawaii
    i posted it main forum on wednesday that i found out and she told me she was seeing someone for a month now, WHILE WE WERE TOGETHER.

    when i found out, my body went numb and i was shaking pretty bad.
    we were together for lil over a year, and i grew to love this girl.
    even though we had our lil break ups and she never really did shit for me other than sex and just "being" there to talk to.....i was really hurt.



    since wednesday, i still look at the time of the day when she calls and expect it (but im not picking it up.)...... also, it really bothers me that shes with someone right away and im not. i wonder what shes doing, if shes happy or not....

    ive been busy lately going out with my friends and hitting the gym(this is a regular for my anyways)....but even with numerous days of getting drunk and going to clubs.....it doesnt really solved much. every girl i see that kinda looks like her or have her physique, it reminds me of her. :wtc: :wtc:
    before all this----the last 2 weeks, i was having dreams and nightmare about her being with someone----and guess what? that nightmare came to life.

    last time i heard of her was wednesday after she told me then she txt me 20min saying:

    "listen- i did love you. but we had nothing in common except the sex was great. im sorry but i need more than that. sorry"

    then she called me later that day when she got off work-----but i didnt pick up......she never called or txt again. :wtc:

    ive never spent so much time in asylum than i did this couple days---i actually ready all 34pages of it.


    i wonder if she misses me or even think about me :wtc: :wtc:

    what else can i do OT? :wtc:
     
  2. Big Ben

    Big Ben New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2006
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    I know it is hard right now, and will probably be hard on you for quite some time, but trust me, when you look back in the future at this relationship, while you are married to a wonderful woman, who you are so perfect for, you will be SO GLAD that you and her didn't work out, and that you moved on... there IS so much more then sex in a relationship...

    I can look back on a lot of the relationships I had before I was married, and while they were great at the time, there always was something wrong, that you never really see, until way afterwards... and am so glad that I married my wife, and not any of the women I used to be sad about ending relationships with...

    I know it is hard right now, but just do things to occupy your time, and think about how great the next woman who comes along will be... she is out there... just don't give up and be down, no need...
     
  3. LS Boy

    LS Boy OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2000
    Messages:
    36,932
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Hawaii
    thanks for the reply big ben. i really appreciate it

    im out going and pretty much good looking guy with nice body (from what most girls told me.) but its just hard for me to just go up to anyone.


    i mean before her, i learned to do it---then i met her and now i lost my touch again.


    as a matter of fact, i dunno if i mentioned it but she was the one that went up to me and asked about me and got my number. so this was just an easy sail coz shes really pretty which made me wonders.


    i go out pretty much all day....im only home 2hours after i wake up...then most of the time, im out with my friends----drinking or what not.

    but that 2hrs really hits home all the time.
     
  4. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,498
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    LS Boy , they say that when a man breaks a girls heart ,she will cry,and get a new relationship. But that when a girl breaks a mans heart, the man will just sit down and be like a broken vase until someone else cleans up the pieces.

    I dont want you to be like that , not to be a broken man forever, and like her i want you to (eventually) move on with your life.

    What you need to do is to give yourself 'time' and come to the hard realisation that you should never go into a relationship expecting things to work out just because it concerns 'you'. I will tell you what my father told me , namely that ' a girl can pack her bags and leave anyday'.

    Anything that you have in life is actually nothing more then being able to temporarily holding sand in your life, it slips away. I advice you to cherish the loving memories that you had with her, come to this realisation, then start slowly picking up the pieces of your life , glueing them back together and fully realising that you don't want to be with a girl that cheats on you.
     
  5. LS Boy

    LS Boy OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2000
    Messages:
    36,932
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Hawaii
    dark, thanks for the kinda words. i know i will look back one day in the future and laught at this. i told my friends this coz they knew that this happened to me before and when i was with her, i looked at my relationship before her and laugh at it and even joke around with it.

    i guess i just fell too hard for this and it really hits home when shes gone. like i said, tihs girl did nothing but give me stress for the MOST part. (didnt really like my close friends) but she was there, and shes really beautiful.... i guess i just miss the "idea" of her and her physical attraction.


    i mean, for the year that we were together, i spent more time with my best friends going out than with her.



    :wtc:






    PS: i just wish it was warm and hot so i can ride my bike and try to forget everything......
     
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2006
  6. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2005
    Messages:
    4,692
    Likes Received:
    0
    Well bro, Ive been in similar shoes. Some people have told me to write a letter a big fat letter of EVERYTHING you thought about the relationship. This letter would be addressed to her. You write down all your thoughts. It may take hours, but do it. Once it's down put it under you bed in a shoe box and forget about it. Then just cherish the memmories. In the end your going to have to move on. How hard you make it on yourself is up to you. A key thing is to keep yourself busy. When you think of her go do something else because what your doing isn't keeping you entertained enough to move on from her. The longer you allow yourself to mourn and be sad is just wasted time you could be doing else where. Dont waste your time over 1 out of 6,000,000,000 females in the sea. Sadly, but true like the other guy said, I think it's harder for a male than female in relationship breakups. Because they are basing majority of their life on emtions and usually dont think to far ahead. Us males tend to use logic and think ahead of what happens with what. So chances are she will forget and have emotionals about this guy and move on. With you, your going to have to step it up. Keep working out as that keeps you busy and allows you to exert your frusterations. But you also need to mentally let her go. A good way to do that is by the letter.

    I think I'm starting to repeat myself, but if you have questons feel free to ask as we are all just fellow humans living on this earth. No need to be scared.

    Also remember the value of your life. Remember life is just a big game. Sometimes you win sometimes you lose. When you lose you just gotta stick with it because sometime you will win. It may be hard to think of that now since your in a fragile state, but stick with it.

    "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" - Ms. Roosevelt.

    Don't let her make you feel bad because it is her fault not yours.
     
  7. StopDrop&LOL

    StopDrop&LOL "Where The Elite Become Champions"

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2004
    Messages:
    38,752
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    561
    LS Boy, im KINDA in the same situation you are, except for the cheating part. Its hard man. The girl i with/seeing...we were just basically fuck buddies too and it hurts to see them with another person.

    Maybe this happened for a reason. For every door that closes in your life, a better one opens. I kow you would like to have her back, but its better that you dont even try. I went through something similar in HS. Learned i should have never tried to go back

    Im sure you heard "keep busy," but thats what you got to do. I find it hard at night when im alone...thats when i really start thinking about my past relationship with this girl. Ive been going out to the bars/clubs alot this past week and its helped. Im not sitting at home thinking about her with nothing to do. Just go out to the bars like you been.

    Also, go pick up a book. When your at home and find yourself thinking about her, just pick up the book and begin to read. Lookup a book called Survive, its pretty cool. Its about this guy & 2 friends making it through a plane crash.

    If you havent already, deleate her number from your phone and all possession that remind u of her. I actually turned OFF my phone for 2 days to clear my mind. Surprisingly it helped. There were times when i really wanted to turn it on just to see who has called, but i resisted.

    Anything else i can help with let me know.
     
  8. LS Boy

    LS Boy OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2000
    Messages:
    36,932
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Hawaii
    thanks for the advice rewind. i will be writting this letter when im alone and back at my own place next week or whenever i become lonely again.

    i still have her txt on my phone and her pictures in my cabinet. some here in my pc, but im pretty good at not looking at it for now until i move on. and im not planning on burning them or tossing them. she was part of my life and no need to erase the memory, i just have to learn to accept it.


    i guess the main concern im having is that, im never gonna have a hot girl like her in the future. i know i can get them, but just dont know how and when....coz i was so used to her of just being there and getting compliments between us two.

    recently, a friend of mine just asked this girl out. i may sound shallow, but i think he is going down with his standards and i dont wana be like him. his gf back in the days was really hot----he let him go coz she left for school. he found someone local but not even close to looking hot. then broke that off after 3 years, now the girl that he just asked out (same day i found out about my gf---same day he asked her out. while we were out drinking.) is alot more step below than the second one. see what im tlaking about?


    i guess thats just my biggest fear.
     
  9. LS Boy

    LS Boy OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2000
    Messages:
    36,932
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Hawaii
    thanks again for another good idea. other than me working out and doing more cardio than before.....im actually thinking of going to barnes and noble to check out some books----something i neglected in HS but something i wanan do now.

    but should i go for books thats about relationship or along those lines......or just get a book thats not relationship related?


    as far as turning off my phone, i wish i can do it and i actually thought about changing my number....but its hard since im on the phone on weekdays for work purposes, so thats no go for me.
    im just scared that one of these days she will call and i will pick up and everything will reminis (sp?) and go to the way it was again and back to square one.
     
  10. StopDrop&LOL

    StopDrop&LOL "Where The Elite Become Champions"

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2004
    Messages:
    38,752
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    561
    No, dont get a book on relationships. That defeats the whole purpose of reading...it suppose to take your mind off of things. Get a book that will keep you interested. Me personally, i like adventure, mysteries, and stranded on island type books. The one im reading now is awesome. Its cool to see how the guy lsurvives in subzero temperatures.

    Ya, i did the whole phone number change thing, because i knew once its changed, its DONE. I dont have to worry about her calling and if she does what do i say. It worked until she showed up at my door.

    It sucsk man, i konw..im in the same boat as you. I want to call her, but know its best not to.
     
  11. Gladiator

    Gladiator Guest

    oh man im in the same situation as you, difference is my boyfriend cheated on me for a year, we were together for 2 years, he wants me back... Of course cheating is never something that is forgiveable. I want him back too, im so attached. The VERY same questions are running through my head, wondering if he is happy or at least just as sad as I am about this whole mess. I know this may not really be the best advice, but just know that you are NOT ALONE. yeah of course it feels like that because everyday i cry...wondering why no one else cares...No one really wants pity i guess just someone to be there for them and to listen to their shit. gauranteed there are a lot better girls out there, and one that will treat you good. I was with my boyfriend and gave him everything a girl can give a guy...he cheated on me with some slut. Your ex-girl...just another one of those very same sluts i suppose. SHe shouldn't have cheated on you, the least she could have done is told you. IT would have hurt so much less...im guessing at least...your not alone dude.
     
  12. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2002
    Messages:
    97,139
    Likes Received:
    65
    Location:
    Republic of Dallas
    Its just a girl. People do this to each other all the time. You however must learn to be strong enough, and to respect yourself enough that you go on, an dcontinue to live a bad ass life. Sure it will take time, but you will be better for it.
     
  13. bearsdidit

    bearsdidit OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 8, 2004
    Messages:
    32,807
    Likes Received:
    37
    Location:
    Huntington Beach,CA
    I read most of Asylum myself when I was going thru relationship stress/problems. I'm sure you have read everyones suggestions and different ideas to get over her... Some work and others will make it hurt more. Stay busy and remember it was her and not you.

    btw, this is a great period in your life to improve yourself as a person. go to barnes and noble and check out the self help section... it helped me a lot.
     
  14. StopDrop&LOL

    StopDrop&LOL "Where The Elite Become Champions"

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2004
    Messages:
    38,752
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    561
    yea, ive picked up a few of the self help books too.
     
  15. LS Boy

    LS Boy OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2000
    Messages:
    36,932
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Hawaii
    kotchy, :hug: im sorry about your misfortune bro. we are here to help you if you need someone to talk to. RIP to your mom. shes in better place and watching over you.

    ladyMG, what do you do to get your mind off of him? for me, going out and talking to my friends and even reading all the break up article or post really helped me realize all this situation. its still bother me a bit----but in the end, nothing you can do about it but let the time do its thing. and i must say, im doing better and better everyday.
     
  16. Mad_World

    Mad_World Guest

    I just posted this on another thread... but the best break up maneuver is to totally ignore the chick..... Forever. I know of all of the past you may have had together. I've been through many hard break ups myself. But to just totally release yourself from the situation is the best way to handle it. Ignore all calls, texts, etc. etc. It's hard, but when one is able to do that... there is not any of the emotional strings and games that are usually attached to break-ups. This will make the transition much easier for you. And if you ever think about picking up the phone.... just think about the ex getting pumped by the other dude. Good luck with all of this. :uh:
     
  17. GoodKnight

    GoodKnight New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2004
    Messages:
    20,578
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    nj
    First things first, get rid of anything that reminds you of her. Pictures, text messages, emails, etc. If you still have those, those will be a constant reminder.

    Second, don't ever tell yourself that you won't get anyone as hot, or as nice, etc as her. People come in different shapes, forms, appearances, etc. All that counts is what YOU think of her, and I'm sure you'll find someone else.

    Last and certainly not least, see this as an opportunity to help yourself, chill with your boys, find a new hobby. Improve yourself, and focus only on yourself and your friends. Someone will come when you least expect it.
     
  18. Broken5hift

    Broken5hift New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2006
    Messages:
    194
    Likes Received:
    0
    sometimes you gotta stop hiding everything and just face it. the more you try and run from it the longer it stays with you. spend a night staying in and really getting it out of your system, hopefully that will help you. good luck.
     
  19. Maestro Nobones

    Maestro Nobones Great Job! - GLAD DADS CREW

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2004
    Messages:
    34,659
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    in austin at the studio or the dojo
    I'm personally a fan of whipping the other dude's ass. May not solve anything but makes me feel better.
     
  20. LS Boy

    LS Boy OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2000
    Messages:
    36,932
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Hawaii
    well, i had some weird dreams about her last night

    RE: http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=2296435




    ......then woke up with 2missed PRIVATE CALLS at 1am. i know its her coz she goes out on wednesdays night coz she dont work the next day til 11am.


    also, im doing alot better----I THINK. and i got a new part time/second job as a bouncer in downtown. :)


    should be fun carding her if she goes to the bar im working at ;)
     
  21. Seiz

    Seiz ヽ(´ー`)┌

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2005
    Messages:
    27,585
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    St. louis, Misery
    You can do what a lot of stupid guys usually do and go kick that dudes ass for mackin on ur girl
     
  22. LS Boy

    LS Boy OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2000
    Messages:
    36,932
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Hawaii
    im sure the guy is pretty innocent with this....i dont think he knows im with her----shes most likely to blame. it was HER control to talk to that guy or not since she got a bf....but instead, she picked him over me.


    UNLESS its someone that I KNOW or knows of us (my ex and i)....then yes, its fucking on lol.





    on the other hand...WHY is that lately this past 3days, ive been itching to call her or im EXPECTING a call from her? is this normal? its really getting me :wtc:
     
  23. SpectraRedZ

    SpectraRedZ New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2006
    Messages:
    1,650
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Charleston, SC
    You're probably itching to call her or waiting for her to call you because it was normal for you after a year of being together to call one another. Did you have some sort of routine where you talked certain nights or whatever?
     
  24. LS Boy

    LS Boy OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2000
    Messages:
    36,932
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Hawaii
    yeap.

    for one year that we were together.... she always calls me at:

    tues, wed, fri: 11:55am when she goes to lunch and at 5:55pm when she gets off work.

    then she calls me on thursdays at 2:55pm and 7:55pm when she gets off work



    and every single day, i look at my phone and place my phone next to me hoping she gonna call.

    this is the only string thats attached to me. hell, i dont even remember her voice anymore :wtc: but i can still mock how she talks......i even talk like her sometimes:wtc:
     
  25. Bavarian3

    Bavarian3 OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2003
    Messages:
    30,565
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Nor*Cal
    You have to do everything to get her out of your life and mind, pictures on computer, gifts etc. Its obviously over now, so you must grow from it and move on, as being depressed about it wont solve anything.
    You know youll eventually find someone else that is twice as good as her, and youll look back and realize how shitty the relationship was compared to what you can have.
    So for the time being learn to be content with yourself as a single individual. Dont go rebounding on any dumb bitches. Not worth it and wont solve anything, stick to your level of girls and dont try too hard. Just keep yourself busy as youve been doin, time will pass and youll start seeing other chicks and not always comparing them to your last.
    Remember, more people have been through this than ya think and much worse situations and came out better in the end, youll be fine :bigthumb:
     

Share This Page