SRS It seems as if alot of people are just naturally apathetic towards me.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by limited_skillz, Mar 20, 2006.

  1. limited_skillz

    limited_skillz I'm a dumbass!

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    I don't know what it is about me, but it seems as if alot of people just naturally dislike even acknowledging my presence. I don't know if it's looks, but body language wise, I have great posture, look happy and energetic most of the time.

    It kind of upsets me though when, for example, if im in a group of people, and we're talking to someone else that we don't know, they automatically like don't even pay attention to me at all, and talk to everyone else. Same thing happens with waitresses in restaurants especially.

    It doesn't happen too often if I'm by myself, but if if I'm with someone else, it seems as if I'm always the last person they want to talk to.
     
  2. HatSee

    HatSee Active Member

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    It probably has alot to do with the people you hang around with.

    I notice that with my brother for instance he wont let me get in more then a few words and even then it doesn't seem that he heard a thing I said. While with friends we can have a normal conversation fine.

    Just a possibility...
     
  3. Indrew

    Indrew New Member

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    Are you shy? Do you make yourself noticeable? Speak up and be heard!
     
  4. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Put up a picture of yourself in here, you will immediatly get to hear from us what is wrong. It might be a harsh reply but you'll know what the problem is then.
     
  5. konrad109

    konrad109 New Member

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    The new person who is talking to your group is going to talk to the leader. You sound like you're being used as a scapegoat by your "friends." Its pretty common for one person in a group to be liked less than the others, and everyone just uses that person to vent their frustrations. They can be better friends with one another by ignoring you or treating you badly. It's not necessarily personal, its just that you're a little bit different than them maybe?

    The new person talking to your group isn't going to alienate themselves right away by talking to the scapegoat. They may not even notice you themselves because nobody in your group of friends does either. They aren't there to pass judgement and since they are alone talking to a group may be nervous themselves, and will talk to the most engaging people in your group. If you're waiting for them to acknowledge you it probably wont happen since technically you should be in a position of power over them as they try to "join your group."

    I think you need to reduce the amount of time you're spending with these people and find some peopel that enjoy your company and want to talk to you. Don't introduce those people to your old friends either. If you hang around these "friends" of yours for too long you will start to think there is something wrong with you, as you already have by your own post. Quit spending so much time with these people! If they call you, tell them you're busy. No apologies, they just need to know they can't use you as a scapegoat anymore. Then when you hang out with them again 2 years later you will probably find someone else has become the scapegoat. While some of them are greeting you the others will be sitting there silently, waiting for your acknowledgment.




    edit: oh yeah, and get some skills. People only want to be friends with guys who have great skills......numchuck skills, computer hacking skills..... :)
     
    Last edited: Mar 20, 2006
  6. EmiB

    EmiB New Member

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    Is it possible that you talk a lot of nothing and they just ignore you??
     
  7. onslaught61

    onslaught61 OT Supporter

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    I know what you mean limited, ive been through that kinda situation before too. they talk to everyone else even though they are strangers too, but don't pay much attention to me.

    Just try to relax about it and maybe initiate sometimes. Try to talk to them first, see what happens. If they ignore you, it's their problem and forget about them. You don't need friends or acquiantances like those.
     
  8. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    I think a picture would help too. The reason is that a lot of people treat others different based on their looks. Are you being ignored by people with similar fashion sense and such as yourself? Are you an ugly ducking in a group of attractive people?

    Or maybe it is as simple as a personality thing. Kind of hard to say without actually observing it in person.
     
  9. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    Hmmm...could be you are being over sensitive and making a lot out of nothing, but, my best advice to you is to speak louder than everyone else to be heard-don't rant, just speak louder. Talk aout something interesting. Could be your attitude. It's really difficult to say here because we can't hear you talk, we can only read your words.
     
  10. limited_skillz

    limited_skillz I'm a dumbass!

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    Thanks for the advice people. I don't think I'm ugly though in comparison to the people I hang out with. I got some damn ugly guys in my group, I'm possibly the best/2nd best... somewhere up there. I don't want to post pics at the moment right now though, cause I'm kinda overly self conscious and don't want anyone analyzing me.

    It's nothing to do with anyone in my group in particular either, there's a bunch of shy guys there too, but they get more attention than me.

    Thinking about it though, it could be the race thing, I'm the only one who isn't white in my groups.
     
  11. hatedbyall

    hatedbyall New Member

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    dont' worry it is the same with me and after a while it becomes a benifit in some ways but if your one of those people who cant stand to be it will tear you all to pieces
     
  12. Easygo

    Easygo New Member

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    If you're at all unsure of your body language and demeanor, get a book like Leil Lowndes' "How To Be A People Magnet", or any of her books, libraries should have something from her.

    http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0809224356/

    Or this from a different author, "How To Make People Like You in 90 Seconds":

    http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/076111940X/

    Are you doing that stuff? Have a friend take some pictures of you in a group, even better is a video. See how you come across to other people.

    If you are doing these normal things, then you're just with the wrong people. Sometimes a group of people are stretched to the point of having exactly the right mix and balance and they will not, actually can not, let another person in, because it upsets the balance.

    It sucks but that's life, and it's probably not you. Get away from those people and find different groups.
     
  13. michaele36

    michaele36 New Member

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    same here. it sucks
     
  14. Nightshade

    Nightshade New Member

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    someone loves Napoleon Dynamite :)
     

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