It really hurts...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by AutoEuphoria, Aug 16, 2008.

  1. AutoEuphoria

    AutoEuphoria New Member

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    ...when the person you love the most tells you "you make me feel bad about myself".

    Don't understand where it comes from...I tell her often how beautiful she is, and how much I love her. Then out of the blue I get this? :squint: I sure don't understand girls sometimes.

    Backstory...she was working out on the treadmill tonight, and I was sitting on the couch (I had worked out earlier). Noticed the treadmill hum got a bit different...only asked her why she slowed down (wasn't sure if she was in pain, or if the machine was acting up...it sometimes speeds up on its own, so I figured it might slow down on its own, too.). She fires back with "I'm struggling, OK?!". I said, "sorry", and went back to watching TV. After she got done she fired off the above comment. It's not the first time I've heard it, either.

    Just sucks when you try to edify someone so much, and they don't even appreciate it, twist what you say into something negative, then fire back with "you make me feel bad about myself". What ever, I guess.

    Sorry for the rant.
     
  2. AutoEuphoria

    AutoEuphoria New Member

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    Another example from last night...I simply asked her "how much longer are you going to be?" She told me, "5 minutes". I thought, OK...simple enough...good to know. A couple hours later while I'm laying in bed trying to sleep she comes in and lectures me about how I don't support her exercising, and that I make these little comments that make her feel bad. I was like "WTF...I just asked you how long you were going to be?"

    :rolleyes:
     
  3. coldstone

    coldstone New Member

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    There's more to it on her end.
     
  4. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    Well, we're likely only getting one side of the story, however it sounds like she's got some serious insecurity/self-image issues. It's not up to you to make her feel 'good' about her exercising, she's an adult; she knows whats best for herself...
     
  5. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Try exercising with her next time. ;)
     
  6. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    there's your problem right there
     
  7. Joybang

    Joybang New Member

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    True. If you are constantly giving someone compliments they grow to expect them and when they hear something that might sound like criticism they go off the deep end.
     
  8. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I would say there's a 30% chance she's mentally checked out of the relationship already.

    Give us more info and I'll give you a more accurate estimate.

    There's also a chance she's saying that stuff to try and manipulate you.

    I'm gonna go against the majority in this thread and say I don't think it has much to do with her body image issues.
     
  9. coldstone

    coldstone New Member

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    Falconer, exactly what I was thinking.
     
  10. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    It would also depend on how she said it.

    There's a difference between:

    "you make me feel bad about myself" - (I'm actually upset and you hurt my feelings)

    and

    "you make me feel bad about myself" - (let's see what his reaction is to this)



    Then again, I suppose just to play devils advocate and she's not actually playing some female game with you, did you say it like an asshole when the treadmill slowed down? Were you like "wtf you fat bitch? You're not going to lose weight by going SLOWER?"


    But really, if how you portrayed your side of the story (you were legitimately concerned about her (like you said maybe she was in pain)), she's probably just not a nice person.

    That's a common occurrence in unbalanced relationships:

    Guy: Are you ok? (legitimately asking out of compassion)

    Girl: Yes! Gosh! (said with an annoyed temper)

    Guy's subconscious: Why is she being so mean? wtf?

    Guy's actions: Maybe I should be even more nice and supplicate and complement her even more and then she'll see that I really do love her and she'll be nicer to me.

    Yet paradoxically, that causes the guy to be even worse off.
     
  11. SirBoss7

    SirBoss7 Life is a tragedy to those who feel and a comedy t

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    I hate that.
     
  12. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    there would be lots of teasing involved on my end

    always make it into a joke

    "do these pants make me look fat?"

    "no, but your ass does"
     
  13. TuopaT2008

    TuopaT2008 New Member

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    I predict a break up in your future.


    :drama:
     
  14. fray

    fray New Member

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    She may feel like you're nagging. Do you often make little comments while she's doing things? What is your tone when you say things? Have you talked to her and explained your true intention and found out why she felt otherwise?
     
  15. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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  16. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    She probably doesn't have self body issues but feels like you're constantly nagging her.

    Why do you think people slow down on a treadmill? Cause they can't maintain the pace they were going originally. That was a stupid question to ask. If you genuinely thought it was the treadmill acting up you should have worded it differently... "Hey did you turn the treadmill down or is it still acting up?"

    Do people considering you annoying? I know that's a rude question to ask but if people are telling you to shut the fuck up every now and then you probably get on their nerves. If she's living with you it's probably worse for her.



    Telling someone you love them and that they're beautiful doesn't get rid of all the nagging little thoughts and comments you make.
     
  17. fray

    fray New Member

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