It baffles my mind what some people put up with

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Autorotate, Jul 27, 2008.

  1. Autorotate

    Autorotate New Member

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    I lurk in the Vag a lot but finally came across a situation that I felt I should post about.
    It amazes me how much some girls will put up with from their significant others.

    For example, I was at a party with some co-workers and friends of co-workers last night, we were at this girls apartment and alcohol was involved. There have been parties like this before, but usually it's just the co-workers, no friends. Any hoot there is this one girl we will call her Ruth who is a really cool person, shes cute and has an awesome personality and I love shooting the shit with her. So through these times I have learned she lives with her boyfriend and their relationship is pretty shitty. Anyway her boyfriend was at our little shindig last and as the night went on another co-worker of mine who we will call Jim, had a wee bit too much to drink and decided it would be a good idea to take a nap in the middle of the apartments living room. So Ruth's boyfriend see James sleeping on the floor and decides it would be a good idea to try to wake him by slapping him in the face. (Douche bag I know) James isn't taking his shit so drama ensues, they are threatening to fight each other, blah blah blah you all have heard this shit before. So they leave and as they are leaving Ruth's boyfriend says something along the lines of "I am glad you don't give a fuck, fuck off you fucking slut." She starts crying and after roughly ten minutes she chases after him. Later Ruth comes back in the apartment with a large cut on her hand that she got from her boyfriend hitting her.

    I just don't get it, why would a girl put up with this bullshit. I mean sure girls love the assholes but I mean, why would any self respecting person put up with that shit. It just blows my mind that a girl who is so chill/cool/whatever would put up with it. So I guess my question for the Vag is can you think of a situation where you would put up with something along the lines of extreme name calling and physical abuse from your SO? Also after this all went down I talked with Ruth, and told her she shouldn't put up with that and that she was worth more than that.

    cliffs: I was at a party with a co-worker who is a really nice cool person but her boyfriend is a douche who hits her.

    edit: ruth is 19 and her boyfriend is 20 I think?
     
  2. enfiniti

    enfiniti How firm thy friendship ... OHIO!

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    women are emotional not logical, son


    thrive on emotions, good or bad. How many women have you heard of that say they "just want to feel something in the relationship"


    If "Ruth" doesnt know by now, she sounds like she will be stuck there. Then when she is 25 she will wake up when it is too late.
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    So sad how people's lack of self-esteem makes them settle and put up with some bullshit.

    You know what is weird? My bf and I have argued, but it's never been vicious. I had a nightmare about 5 days ago that I woke up crying from. In the dream (I have insanely vivid dreams and I remember them all) I had just moved in with my bf (which we just did) and at agathering of friend he started screaming abohut me for an unknown reason. I remember he said really hurtful things and was about to hit me when I woke up. I was upset all morning and couldn't look at him because it felt so real.

    My point is, I could never ever stand for a man who even verbally abused me, let alone physically hurt me.

    The same thing happens with men too. How many threads (I'd say the majority) do we see in here where the guys let their gf's push them around, it's pathetic. No one has a backbone these days.
     
  4. ausguals

    ausguals New Member

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    chances are, the guys already told her that she's the worst person in the world and she's a nobody and she can't and won't ever do better than him and he's the best thing that will ever happen to her. and she believes it, because he's a douche who, instead of making his gf feel absolutely wonderful and amazing and beautiful, pretty much ate her self-esteem and she really believes that if she doesn't have him, she won't be able to get anybody. ever.
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    PS-If she has an "awesome personality" she wouldn't be this helpless. Unless you like women who don't stand up for themselves???
     
  6. Autorotate

    Autorotate New Member

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    Exactly, why waste your time in a relationship with someone who would? That's why I don't get it. I think you all are on the right track with a lack of self-esteem, it's just weird because she comes off as a confident person.
     
  7. Autorotate

    Autorotate New Member

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    No that is why I am so confused, it seems so out of character for her. She his generally extremely confident and opinionated about everything. This came as a total surprise to me.
     
  8. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Some of the people who come off the most confident are the one's riddled with insecurity :dunno:
     
  9. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    he's gradually broken her down to where he's the only person whom she can gain acceptance from. she knows what's going on but she can't help it because she's practically brainwashed. it's like being in a coma where it's permanent or she'll have to wake up but on her own.
     
  10. Mugen92GS-R

    Mugen92GS-R New Member

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    :werd:

    I'm generally more on the insecure side, but you would NEVER fucking know it unless you've known me for a LONG LONG time :rofl:
     
  11. coldstone

    coldstone New Member

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    If he made her "feel absolutely wonderful and amazing and beautiful", she would treat him like shit. :mamoru:

    Be mean, keep her keen.
     
  12. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    I once beat the crap out of a former friend who did that to his girlfriend.

    If there is one thing you don't do around me it is beat up on a woman. Not fucking on.

    She still went back to him though. Bruises all over her face.

    I've since left the area. Couldn't put up with all that shit over and over again. It ain't easy trying to succeed when you go home to an area like that every night
     
  13. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    it really is crazy when people dont stand up for themselves makes me sad to even think about it
     
  14. CaiWooBlue

    CaiWooBlue New Member

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    My husband and I have three things that we would leave each other for, no matter what.
    1. Abusing our kids
    2. Abusing each other
    3. Drug use

    Abuse = verbal OR physical
     
  15. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    A lot of the times, both men and women stay in these relationships because their SO has convinced them that they can't do any better, and have cut off all of their friendships. I remember seeing a guy post in here how his gf told him "You'll never do better than me".

    Other times, when you just HEAR from someone how bad their relationship is, it could be just a ruse to get sympathy/attention (ie, time old story where girl complains about shitty bf, but still fucks him regularly, and laps up all the attention from the sympathetic guy who is waiting for her to break up).
     
  16. Jack Horner

    Jack Horner Guest

    Stop right there. Clearly, she's not a self-respecting person. That's why she puts up with his shit. You're absolutely right -- no self-respecting person would put up with that garbage.
     
  17. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Did you ask her how her make up sex is?

    He might abuse her regularly, but I bet he comes crying and begging back and she forgives him and they have hot passionate make up sex. She's enjoying the highs and lows of the drama involved with her boyfriend. I've always had the theory that women crave drama. And if there is no drama in their lives they make up some drama. The kind of television shows and movies that are typically associated with women like chick flicks and soap operas all revolve around drama in the lives of the characters.

    My mother raised me to treat women like queens and to never hit a woman. But I have heard many women (including hot women) say that they never felt like they deserved to be treated like a queen. So they go after the guys that treat them like shit to validate that feeling that they don't deserve to be treated well.

    Now of course this isn't all women, but I do believe many women are raised with fathers or manly figures that are abusive to them so they long for more shitty treatment to feel however it is that they are feeling.
     
  18. crunchy_black

    crunchy_black OT Supporter

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    I don't know why.. It's stupid.

    I've told a former GF that i cheated on her.. shes like 'thats ok as long as you didnt sleep with her' - I tried to but got rejected lol - weeks later i break it off with her

    Fart on my ex girlfriends head, break up with her later.

    Tell my ex girlfriend i don't wanna do anything this weekend, im gonna play video games. She has a cry and storms off, begs to take her back. i say NO. :rofl:
     
  19. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    It's not just a "female" thing.

    The "treat them like shit" philosophy works both ways.

    I would imagine it has something to do with our need to be "liked" and to have everybody like us. So when someone acts like a bitch to us, we feel a need to "win them over". Or prove to ourselves that we can make someone like that like us and change them.

    Who knows why? But in an age of bullshit, someone who treats us bad is the most honest person we know.
     
  20. Autorotate

    Autorotate New Member

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    I think this must be the case, it certainly seems that she has little to no friends.
     
  21. Autorotate

    Autorotate New Member

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    You are absolutely right. :hsd:
     
  22. Autorotate

    Autorotate New Member

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    I guess the question is, do I do anything about it? Obviously I think it is bullshit what this guy is doing, but at the same time, it is not really my place to intervene. Why help someone who won't help them self? I mean she probably doesn't think it's a major problem. Oh Vag! What to do, what to do!?
     
  23. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Well first of all, it's technically none of your business.

    The only thing you can do is possibly sit down with her and talk to her about it, tell her she deserves better...but that's about it.
     
  24. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    Abusers also do this thing where they will treat you GREAT and then later on treat them like shit. This makes the victim wonder wtf you did wrong to deserve it...
     
  25. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    Also a possibility. My friend would get all these marks on her from her bf restraining her from hitting him. But she'd play it off to other guys as if her bf was abusive...which he was, but so was she to him.
     

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