issues with phase in life?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Mopar03, Aug 22, 2008.

  1. Mopar03

    Mopar03 73-9 OT Supporter

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    say you meet a guy/girl and you guys get along great. chemistry is there. everything seems to click....except for one thing. you two are in different stages in your life. maybe he/she just graduated and is about to start in her career, while you still have a couple years of college left. or vice versa. does this stop you from moving forward in a relationship sense? :hs:
     
  2. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    I like at this as a possible "right people, wrong time".

    We like to think we know what's best for ourselves, but a lot of the time we don't. So we see something (or someone) that we think is perfect for us (and it could be) and we do all that is within our power to control it and force it to work for us, wrangling the life out of it the harder we try.

    Sometimes I think a long lost art that we all could use is a little patience.
     
  3. God of Thunder

    God of Thunder New Member

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    "anything worth doing....is worth overdoing"

    meaning, if she's a worthwhile girl, one that could potentially be a long term relationship, then i'd be willing to make effort to make it work. Even if it required a little extra effort. Of course though, it must be mutual.
     
  4. bjonesy77

    bjonesy77 New Member

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    :werd: If you both want to pursue it, it shouldn't make a difference. It may make things a bit more difficult but if its mutual it should work.
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Depends if it bothers both people :dunno:

    Most relationships that succeed in moving forward are couples that tend to be in the same or very close to the same lifestyle. This is why it is common for say an 18 year old girl and a 26 year old man to not work. One is starting college and most likely immature, while the other usually has a 9-5 grown adult lifestyle.

    But if both parties are interested and chemistry is good-why not try it? Maybe talk about it in an open fashion and don't put too much pressure on the relationship being everlasting.
     
  6. Mopar03

    Mopar03 73-9 OT Supporter

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    hmmm. anyone actually been in this situation? :hs:
     
  7. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    my brother was in this situation twice
    I was in this situation once
    My roommates have all been in this situation in the past 2 years

    none of them "worked out"

    not saying it can't work, but like a long distance relationship, it's an uphill battle generally
     
  8. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    My bf and his ex :dunno:

    He was in college, she was 5 years older with a full-time job and they were just too far apart interms of age and what they wanted in life.
     
  9. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    There now. We're having an extremely difficult time coordinating the rest of our lives to fit with each other. We've been together over 5 years, he's now nearing graduation and I've got 4 years left. Its really not easy, its trying on your nerves, and things get very frustrating. However, I know it is so worth it to stick this out, so we're working as hard as we can do make sure our lives do come together. I honestly believe, though, that you cant just wait for things to happen in this case...you have to work with each other in mind, and make shit happen.
     
  10. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    In your case, I won't be surprised one bit if when you finally DO get together, it all falls apart.
     
  11. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    yes, for 2.5 years or so? it's not been an issue, or as far as i know. :dunno:
     
  12. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    You're a prick
     
  13. childofbean

    childofbean Green Member

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    Like others have stated, it can work if both people make it work.
     
  14. SirBoss7

    SirBoss7 Life is a tragedy to those who feel and a comedy t

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    It takes two.
     
  15. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    I guess it depends where you live.

    I am in Chicago, right in the bar district and a lot of the people that go out on a daily basis are 9-5 workers just out of college... and many relationships I know of involve people where one is in school and the other works.

    I think what really determines if this situation works is how much the college study parties. If they are going out 4 days a week, being a social butterfly, and attempting to balance school, studying, partying, and a s/o it can pose a problem.

    The person who is working might not want to go out to a bar on a Thursday night because they have an early Friday, but they still want to see their s/o... this proposes a problem of time management between friends and lovers.

    If the person who is in college can manage their time effectively and the person working isn't overly jealous it can certainly work IMO. I see it everyday.
     
  16. Problematique

    Problematique New Member

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    It didn't work for me :hs:

    I was moving into the end of my years at college and he had deferred for a couple of years and was only in his first year when it ended.

    He couldn't understand why I was feeling the pressure of the last couple years, and feeling the stress compared to your first year when there's not much to be stressed about at all.

    But I guess a lot of it came down to the type of people we were and not strictly the situation we were in.
     
  17. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    :rofl:

    Sorry yankesschic, I didn't mean for it to come out like that.

    What I mean is that when you spend all this time making it work through LDR's and what not, when you finally DO get to be together it won't be the same. It'll be sort of like starting all over again.
     
  18. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    IMO, that's the only thing it comes down to. Where it gets mixed up is between the stage of a person's life in terms of accomplishment or material wealth, versus the stage of a person's life in terms of personal development.

    These two things do have a strong correlation, but they are still separate and can be way off one way or the other in certain people. Someone can have PhD, a few years, and be very successful and still be an insufferable, selfish, immature prick. Or someone can be broke, working a dead end job and slogging through community college, and be the most positive, self-assured, and fulfilling partner you'll ever have.

    And, well, I'm the second type. Tell your single friends ;)
     

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