SRS Isn't it funny when just a small thing triggers memories?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by AmCo, Aug 22, 2005.

  1. AmCo

    AmCo Haters goin' Hate

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    Just when i thought everything was fine with me until i find a picture of her supposely with her new man. I was doing good until i saw it. Guess I gotta start rebuilding again. :( this sucks
     
  2. johan

    johan Active Member

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    That's very good. You must confront and work through repressed memories like that.
    Bringing them to the surface and facing them is what renders them powerless (eventually).

    Repressing them doesn't do much good. Eventually you will stumble upon something by chance (and usually at the worst moment, like when you're macking on your new intended girl) and it brings all sorts of things up to the surface.

    As you've just witnessed in yourself.

    I think it's better to do this type of work on YOUR schedule, under 'controlled' circumstances, rather than leave things to chance and figure "oh I'll just NEVER see her or run into her again. EVER..." Yeah. Like that works.
     
  3. AmCo

    AmCo Haters goin' Hate

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    i hope this helps me heal faster by dealing with the repressed memories.
     
  4. AmCo

    AmCo Haters goin' Hate

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    Do you think i should ask for my ring back johan? I gave her that ring a while back when we weren't together and asked her to keep cause i thought we would get back together. But now i don't know anymore. I feel like as long as she has the ring i can't seem to move on fully because i believe as long as she has we might get back together. I know it sounds pretty sad of me. The way i see you can't make anyone love you or be with you if they don't want too.
     
  5. johan

    johan Active Member

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    If you feel that her having the ring in her possession is keeping you on an emotional leash...then by all means, tell her that the relationship is over and you would appreciate her returning the ring.

    Be wary that this could turn into a little bit of an argument or a teary scene.
    "wahhh wahhh but you GAVE that ring to MEEEEE...why do you want it back?"

    or maybe anger
    "you want it? TAKE IT!" <and she rips the ring off her finger and whips it at your head>

    of course, the most likely scenario is neither of those two extremes, since it sounds like she's already moved on.


    Either way, you can see that this ring is a very powerful symbol of something that was...but no longer is.

    So sure, you have permission to ask for it back calmly and reasonably.

    If she really is with a new man...she'll probably just hand it back, and you'll both feel sad for a little while thinking over what was....and what could've been.
    And then, she'll turn and walk away. Maybe look back once more at the end of the block...and then...she's gone.

    Plan to go out that night with your buds. Shoot some pool, drink a few beers and have some laughs. Your life is waiting for you....
     
  6. ef

    ef New Member

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    honestly, be smart.. you're letting your mind play tricks on you.
    the only reason you want to get that ring back is either to:
    1) see her again
    2) letting her know that you're moving on if she knows the meaning of the ring to you
     
  7. malken00

    malken00 I'm here. Sorta.

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    Amco, I just recently got over a 4 year relationship with a girl I am absolutely crazy about. I have a lot of little things every day that I notice, a lot like you, as we lived together for almost 2 years. I asked for my ring back.. I took the diamond from the ring, and got an earring stud made out of it. I look at it in the mirror every morning and it is a good reminder to me of the good times I had with her, but at the same time, the ring is destroyed, and all that remains is something new and beautiful from the diamond. I wasn't much of an earring person before I got it, but now that I have it, it helps me each day move on, and it also shows me that she can't just run back into my life, and I'll instantly give her the ring back, like had happened once before. Now if she wants the diamond back, she will have to put her 50% into the relationship to make it work out, only then, would I consider having the diamond re-set in a ring.

    If you DO decide to get it back, make SURE that you have it mailed/shipped/whatever, don't go see her to get it. Also, have a plan to do something with it once you get it back. If you're anything like me, the ring symbolizes a bonding and a great many years together, I could NEVER pawn it in, no matter the circumstances -- but at the same time, you have to realize you can't give that ring to another girl that comes along, first, it is bad luck, second, it is like telling that new girl that she is 2nd place, and doesn't get the same treatment you gave the first girl. The reason I say have something to do with it, is because it will just be one more thing, and a BIG thing, that you have laying around that will hurt you from memories.

    Next time you think you have it bad, imagine this, I moved 2500 miles across the country to help her pursue her career in modeling. I had a house, a good job, and lots of friends back in Ohio. I moved because I loved her and promised I would do everything I could to get her to LA. Well, we moved, she got homesick, and dumped me out here.... Now I'm stuck with no friends, family on the east coast, and though I have a good job, it is still hard to go home every night to a lonely apartment...

    PM me if you want to chat further, sounds like we are sharing a lot of the same crap right now. Good luck :)
     
  8. AmCo

    AmCo Haters goin' Hate

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    This was a long distance relationship so i won't be seeing her if i got it back. Second i gave her that ring when i thought there was hope for us left.
     
  9. quid

    quid I Piss Excellence OT Supporter

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    third you can pawn it or ebay it or burn it and get some rage out
     
  10. sourcandy

    sourcandy New Member

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    don't bother with it, my ex still has the diamond tennis braclet I gave her. Sure I wouldn't mind havn' it back but at the same time (as mentioned above) I couldn't ever give that braclet to another girl.

    It took me a good year to get over my ex and 3 other women. Time heals all wounds, do yourself a favor and put the pictures of you two somewhere that you won't find them for a while. Hang in there :bigthumb:
     
  11. AmCo

    AmCo Haters goin' Hate

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    After much thought i felt like i shouldn't ask for the ring back at all. I should just move on and not think about any longer. Easier said then done right? This week was absolute hell for me but hopefully in time i'll start to feel better. Isn't this great that it happened on the first week of school for me as well :p
     
  12. The Green Bastard

    The Green Bastard Click click click bang

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    I was given the ring back from the ex-fiancee, and 1 1/2 years later, I pawned it, and the gf and I went to a sex store and bought some goodies! :)
    :( Now we're apart.
     
  13. tehexile

    tehexile New Member

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    I thought you’d be out of my mind
    And I’d finally found a way to learn to live without you
    I thought it was just a matter of time
    Till I had a hundred reasons not to think about you

    But it’s just not so
    And after all this time, I still can’t let go

    I’ve still got your face
    Painted on my heart
    Scrawled upon my soul
    Etched upon my memory, baby

    I’ve got your kiss
    Still burning on my lips
    The touch of my fingertips
    This love so deep inside of me, baby

    I’ve tried everything that I can
    To get my heart to forget you
    But it just can’t seem to

    I guess it’s just no use
    In every part of me
    Is still a part of you

    And I’ve still got your face
    Painted on my heart
    Scrawled upon my soul
    Etched upon my memory, baby

    I’ve got your kiss
    Still burning on my lips
    The touch of her fingertips
    This love so deep inside of me, baby

    I’ve still got your face
    Painted on my heart
    Painted on my heart
    Painted on my heart, oh baby

    Something in your eyes keeps haunting me
    I’m trying to escape you
    And I know there ain’t no way to
    To chase you from my mind

    I’ve still got your face
    Painted on my heart
    Scrawled upon my soul
    Etched upon my memory baby

    I’ve got your kiss
    Still burning on my lips
    The touch of my fingertips
    This love so deep inside of me, baby

    I’ve still got your face
    I’ve still got your face
    Painted on my heart
    Painted on my heart
     
  14. The Green Bastard

    The Green Bastard Click click click bang

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    :wtc: Song title/artist please.
     
  15. AO

    AO New Member

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    Throw out all things that remind you of her. Throw out the pictures, the music, all the little gifts.

    It's bad enough when you smell her perfume and your mind starts to race, or you hear laughter which reminds you of her, etc.

    But the things that are around you you can control. Do a sweep throughout your house and throw away the tie she gave you, any jewelry, etc. Clean the whole house or apartment from top to bottom, wash the walls, the doors, the rugs, the drapes. Buy cheerful colours, move the bed to soemwhere else, etc. Get rid of whatever makes you think of her, like the stereo, the tv, etc.

    Each woman is but a milestone pointing you to the next one. Remember the good parts and look for that in your next woman. Eventually after you go throwugh a dozen or two women you'll have created your own woman, the lips from one, the kiss from another, the touch from another, the dressing sensibility from another, the mothering instinct from another, the cooking ability from another, the intelligence from another, the love making from another, the body from another, etc.

    Thank her for being a part of your life and go looking for someone "better". If it's just looks you're bound to someday find someone who exactly looks like her.
     
  16. The Green Bastard

    The Green Bastard Click click click bang

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    Ain't gonna happen. Sorry. Too many GOOD memories to toss them in the garbage.
     
  17. Beezure

    Beezure Go Lightning!! OT Supporter

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    No reason to ask it back, I know what your going through man, stay busy, try to go out and meet some new people,

    and it's actually a good thing that it happend right when school started, it will help keep your mind off of her !! :bigthumb:
     
  18. johan

    johan Active Member

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    CULT. Painted on my heart.
     
  19. The Green Bastard

    The Green Bastard Click click click bang

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    School for her, not me. I'm working 54 hrs a week.
     
  20. tehexile

    tehexile New Member

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    correct.
     
  21. The Green Bastard

    The Green Bastard Click click click bang

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    :wtc::cool:
     
  22. The Green Bastard

    The Green Bastard Click click click bang

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    A song that's owning me now, hardcore.

    Hard To Say I'm Sorry --Peter Cetera

    Everybody needs a little time away
    I've heard her say
    From each other

    Even lovers need a holiday oooh
    Far away from each other

    Hold me now
    It's hard for me to say I'm sorry
    I just want you to stay
    And after all that you've been through
    I will make it up to you
    I promise you, baby

    And after all thats been said and done
    You're just the part of me I can't let go

    ooooh bup bup bup bup

    Couldn't stand to be kept away
    Just for a day
    From your body
    Wouldn't want to be swept away
    Far away from the one that I love

    Hold me now
    It's hard for me to say I'm sorry
    I just want you to know
    Hold me now
    I really want to tell you I'm sorry
    I could never let you go

    And after all that we've been through
    I will make it up to you
    I promise you

    And after all that's been said and done
    You're just a part of me I can't let go

    I can't let go.
     
  23. Finch

    Finch OT Supporter

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    The worst is having songs you used to love be ruined due to the memories attached :(
     
  24. The Green Bastard

    The Green Bastard Click click click bang

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    For me, the songs aren't ruined....they spark an important memory in my mind, allowing me to think of and relive the excellent times we had when we were together, and how much I miss them.
     

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