FRK Isn't awfully nice to have a penis?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by BrokenHalo, Aug 10, 2005.

  1. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?

    That song (The Penis Song, courtesy of Monty Python) inspired me to come up with a thread.

    So Ladies of FS... what would you do if you had a penis for a day?
    (And gents...if there are any... what would you do if you had a vagina for a day?)
    ((And if you happen to be a hermaphrodite... tell us what you do with both... :dunno: ))

    Lets be creative, shall we?

    I'll go first:
    1. I'd masturbate every 10 minutes and cum all over anything I could.

    2. If I had foreskin, I'd do the "peebomb" in the shower.

    3. I'd get out of the shower dripping wet and run into the living room and do the clean weiner dance for my SO. (For those who don't know, that involves flapping it around like it was on fire.)

    4. In the same scenario, I'd then tuck it between my legs and do the "mangina".

    5. Then I'd immediately turn around and show the "fruit bowl".

    6. I'd spend at least an hour coming up with a good name for him and his boys. Like the Wiggleworm and the Dirtclods.

    7. I'd find every opportunity during the day to walk like a pregnant woman about to give birth and tell everyone that I'm adjusting my "batwings".

    8. I'd find any random woman and say "mouthify my wang" at least once during the day.

    9. I'd swim naked and float on my back so that my penis would flop around like a broken dorsal fin.

    10. I'd stick it in an ass (preferable female, but I only have a day, so any gender will do really.)

    11. And, seeing as how I'd also have boobs (unless I did the complete changover) I'd go to the nearest porn industry building and be the tranny in a really hot porn with a really hot, sultry brunette and have her give me mindblowing, pornstar head and then I'd shoot it all over her face, making sure to get a least a little up one nostril and paste at least one of her eyes shut.


    I think thats about it... who's next?
     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2005
  2. Whitemax

    Whitemax New Member

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    Oddly enough, I've done most of those things. I think every guy has. I almost peed myself at #3. I've done it a million times, as well as 1, 4 and 5. Not sure what a Peebomb is, since I'm cut, but it sounds like fun haha
     
  3. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    Ok, maybe I should've specified... I'm a chick...

    And the reason I know about those things is because my SO does most of them... thats why a lot of guys are going to be able to relate... :mamoru:
     
  4. twistid

    twistid Banged By Super Models Moderator

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    :rofl:

    oh and i see a funny future for this thread.
     
  5. Whitemax

    Whitemax New Member

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    I know you are. ;) I just think its funny that I think pretty much every guy in the world, no matter their age, does all this things. Scary in a way hahaha
     
  6. xela

    xela So say we all!

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    If I had a penis I'd want to masturbate, get a blow job, have vaginal and anal sex. Just to see how it feels. I don't think I'd do any stupid, boy stuff. :mamoru:
     
  7. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    I hope it turns out well... I was hoping for a funny. Today is a sucky day.

    So come on with the hyucks here people...


    And Xela... you know you'd at least do the mangina... and then its all downhill from there. :mamoru:
     
  8. xela

    xela So say we all!

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    Manginas are frightening. I wouldn't want to scare myself the first day I have a penis!
     
  9. TigerInATrance

    TigerInATrance New Member

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    You do realize that most of that "stupid boy stuff" is most men's way of trying to obtain blowjobs, vaginal, and/or anal sex, right?

    ;)
     
  10. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    this is truth... but we're getting a little off subject...
     
  11. xela

    xela So say we all!

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    Stupid boy behavior does nothing for me. :hsughno:
     
  12. xela

    xela So say we all!

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    If I had a penis I'd derail all your threads. :hsugh::rofl:
     
  13. TigerInATrance

    TigerInATrance New Member

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    Sorry... I'll take my real penis and leave you to your fantasies!

    :p
     
  14. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    OMG, I SAID GUYS COULD JOIN TOO AND TELL US WHAT THEY WOULD DO WITH A VAGINA FOR A DAY!!!


    Here... let me bold it for you so you can participate :hsugh:
     
  15. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    No joke... :rofl:
     
  16. CBurgerjr

    CBurgerjr League leading 49 HR in 1986.

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    If I had a Vagina for a day.....

    First I would finger myself to see what that feels like.....THEN

    I would go find XELA ...... And give her a BlowJob and then let her Fuck me Blind....
     
  17. xela

    xela So say we all!

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    :bowrofl:
     
  18. TigerInATrance

    TigerInATrance New Member

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    LOL... Fine... :naughty:

    First thing I'd do is shave it bald using nice hot water from the hand held shower. Then I'd get lost in the sensation of the massaging showerhead as it washed away the folicles... After spending a long time masturbating with whatever I could find, I'd go out and find a woman to lick it and stick it and then torture it with clamps and a riding crop so I know just exactly what it is I've been doing :p Then I'd go out and find a nice big dick to fuck me so I could feel stuffed and then filled with hot cum. Then for the last thing of my day with a pussy... I'd go get a clit piercing, hood piercing, and the inner labia... then I'd drift off to sleep by rubbing the pain of the needles away......
     
  19. GlassJoe

    GlassJoe New Member

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    It doesn't do anything for a lot of girls. That's where alcohol comes into play... :o
     
  20. Whitemax

    Whitemax New Member

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    If I had a Vagina for a day I'd:

    1 try and carry my keys around in it.
    2 See how many things I could stick in there at a time
    3 Masturbate every 10 minutes
    4 have lesbian sex with a woman
    5 Try peeing standing up
    6 have my period so I can see just how much you girls are faking it
    7 stuff as many things in there I could to see how much it will hold.
    8 cram a double ended dildo up there so I could walk around with a fake penis
    9 run around with said fake penis waving it girls faces doing the clean willy dance.
    10 tuck it to give myselfe a fake mangina
    11 Show off fake fruit bowl
    12 fist myself
     
  21. CBurgerjr

    CBurgerjr League leading 49 HR in 1986.

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    :naughty: :naughty: :rolleyes:
     
  22. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    nice Whitemax... I like how you reverted to your basic, male animalistic tendencies there towards the end... and mentioned TWICE that you'd try to stuff as much stuff up there as you could... :rofl:
     
  23. Synner

    Synner New Member

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    First off, Halo, I'm actually crying from this. Fuckin' HILARIOUS!

    If I had a vagina for a day.....well, I'll keep it simple, 24 hours of solid masturbation with any motor-driven device I could find. Electric razors, cell phones, pagers, playstation controllers (did you know that if you're playing tony hawk, you can use the perfect balance cheat to turn a ps2 controller into a small, underpowered vibrator?).....anything that vibrated, would vibrate on or in me.


    EDIT: Oh yeah....and I'd be carrying about 2 pounds in extra jewelry.
     
  24. Whitemax

    Whitemax New Member

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    I'm just curois about it, what can I say? I also wonder how many women have tried it before....:noes:
     
  25. Laurel

    Laurel New Member

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    I'd wander around an old folks home sticking my penis in peoples' ears
     

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