SRS Is this natural

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by London Loves, Aug 9, 2005.

  1. London Loves

    London Loves New Member

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    I'll keep this short and spare the details.

    1.Is it natural to have strong feelings for someone 4 years after breaking up with them?
    2. Is it right or natural to regularly dream and think daily about someone after breaking up with them 4 years ago (is this obsession)?
    3. Is it right or natural to compare every subsequent girlfriend to this person, and ultimately find that they come up short by the precedent set 4 years ago? Would it be right to marry someone and hope that the comparison fades away?
    4. Is it right or natural to get drunk and become clandestinely abusive to this person despite seeing them infrequently, due to the fact they live in another country?
    5. Is it natural to feel permenantely depressed and sick about this person despite the fact that life is, in general, going swimmingly?
    6. If time is the great healer, where is my cure? Should i cut off ties of mutual friends and make a fresh start?

    Advice will be well regarded.

    Faithfully, xx
     
  2. level99

    level99 Guest

    U obviously have a lot of regret and may have made a very big mistake by getting dumped/breaking up with this person. In my opinion it is not natural.
     
  3. AmCo

    AmCo Haters goin' Hate

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    we need the reasons you broke up with them as well but looking at your question. i think you need to learn to move on. time doesn't heal. its just the fact that time goes on and we tend to think about the other person less. you need closure.
     
  4. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    If you are abusive when you are drunk, you obviously have some unresolved issues.
     
  5. Splak

    Splak New Member

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    I used to have the feelings your describing for an ex-girlfriend for years after we broke up.. I obsessed over her and wanted nothing but to get back togther with her. This is even after years of not speaking or seeing each other.. Every girlfriend after her was compared to her. I missed her for years and sought to find someone like her again. But the feeling never went away until I found my current gf; who just happens to be nothing like her. It is possible to find someone that can make your forget or atleast stop obsessing over an ex-gf. I know it just took me a long time.

    Not exactly the same situation but sometimes time and the right person can make you realize how crazy it is to obsess over someone like that.
     
  6. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Why do u care wether or not it's natural?
    Shouldn't u just b wondering how to get over it?
     
  7. B_RowL

    B_RowL OT Supporter

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    Time heals all wounds, but wounds can leave scars. You can be "over" something, but you can still be sensative in that area. Maybe you have some unresolved ties or regret. That can be resolved by telling someone about the situation and your thoughts, soul searching, or expressing your emotion through other means (poetry, music, writing, etc.)
     
  8. London Loves

    London Loves New Member

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    Trust me, i've been doing all i can. I've slept with 27 women in four years which, to be quite honest, is quite an achievement, i think. I was just wondering if anyone else has these feelings. It is more of a rationalisation excersise: if other people go through the same thing, then there is nothing to worry about.
     

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