is this dumb of me?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Falconer, Jun 7, 2008.

  1. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    the other day my gf and i were messing around and i told her she should go down on me. she was kind of giving off vibes like she didnt want to, but then she was like "ok, i guess i will, but then u have to fuck me." at this point i was turned off because i dont like getting head when the chick isn't enjoying it. i phrased it such that i was planning on fucking her after she went down on me for a bit.

    oh, my gf had already cum at this point, and i had just gotten out of the shower so i know i was clean and fresh and everything.

    ok back to the story. so i'm instantly turned off, like to the point that i dont even want sex anymore.

    i was trying to figure out why, and this is what i came up with.

    one of my exes made giving head seem like a chore, and so now i kind of have a complex about it. at the same time, i love going down on my gf, and so i expect the girl im with to love going down on me. i cant think of a possble situation where she would want me to go down on her, and i wouldnt want to (unless she like hadnt showered in a few days or something but u know what i mean). i want the girl im with to LOVE going down on me and always be up for it because that's how i feel aout whatever girl i'm with.

    i also dont to be i one of those situations where getting head is a "special treat" or whatever (you know what i mean) because a) i like
    it too much to only get it occassionally and b) that is a situation where the woman is using sex for power/control.

    so when my gf didnt want to, not only did it make me feel gross and undesireable, but i worried about endng up in one of the aforementioned situations.

    normally my gf has no problem w giving head and says she enjoys it. and i mean full blowjobs where she finishes and swallows, which isnt even what i wanted in the situation here.

    i guess tho ideally i want a gf who gets as excited about sucking my dick as i do about going down on her. and since i cant think of a reason when i ever wouldnt want to do it to her, i wonder what's up when my gf doesnt want to.

    really my last gf was a bitch and made it seem like a chore. i hate that. every girl before her loved to do it but now if i get anything less tha like 100% excitement and enthusiasm i feel like its just a chore or act, and as every guy knows theres nothing worse than an unenthusiastic blowjob.

    so am i being retarded here for completely losing my boner/arousal when my gf didnt want to go down on me?
     
  2. Jack Horner

    Jack Horner Guest

    Yes, quit acting like a girl.
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    No offense dude, but you REALLY need to come to grips with the fact that not every woman is ALWAYS going to want to give you head.

    You've expressed time and time again that getting head is like the most important thing in the world to you and I saw your main froum thread the other day worried that girls stop giving head after marriage...You need to come into reality and recognize that it's doubtful the kind of girl you always look for is going to be the kind of girl who wants to give you head 5 days a week.

    Most women don't dream about giving head all day, so when it comes to messing around and we are ready to fuck (since you gave her an orgasm already) and you start whining to get a blowjob we get a little frustrated.

    So yeah, you need to realize head will most likely definitely slow down the longer you date a woman :dunno: I love giving head but it's not the first thing on my mind when I'm in the mood. Sometimes when I'm in the mood we move straight into the sex :dunno:
     
  4. fray

    fray New Member

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    I agree with what some of the people above have said. You can't expect her to want it all the time. It's not an outrageous expectation to say you want a girl that loves giving head, but even these girls sometimes have other things going on. I love pizza, but I don't want to eat pizza 24-7.

    Be happy that she is willing and enjoys it 99% of the time. And don't assume just because she wasn't already on her knees waiting when you came out of the shower that she wasn't enjoying it once she got down there.
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    BTW, realize that you had just gotten her off, whether it was via mouth or fingers she was ready to go man. She really wanted to have sex and then you tell her to basically stop and give you head?

    Even if she really enjoys giving you head it still can slow down the momentum for her. Just a thought.
     
  6. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    oh, she had cum from me fucking her. we had a little quicky before i took a shower. she was super horny and didnt want to wait for me to take a shower so i fucked her before i got in. but i didnt cum.

    gosh i'm so giving :big grin:

    oh so my point was its not like i had just gone down on her and she was craving sex or something.
     
  7. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    my other point is i like to be able to confidently tell my gf to go down on me. but when it doesnt work out, i lose confidence for next time.

    "uh... go down on me please... if that's ok with you... and if not we can do whatever you want."

    no.

    all my girlfriends have always been totally comfortable telling/asking me to go down on them cuz the know i love it and am always up for it. i expect that feeling as well.
     
  8. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Never "expect." She most likely doesn't expect you to go down on her all the time :dunno:
     
  9. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    Like everyone here is saying, people are different and so are circumstances and situations. She is 'not' every other girl you dated, if you don't like this one then break it off and find another. If you do like her, then you owe her enough respect to quit fucking whining about it and if it means that much to you, have a non blame oriented conversation regarding it.
     
  10. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    ok. i was just wondering about the physiological reaction i had.
     
  11. fray

    fray New Member

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    Physiological reaction I don't think you can help. That is just following the psychological side. You can probably wean yourself off of it, but I think that was pretty normal to what you were feeling at the time.
     
  12. eskarinna

    eskarinna New Member

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    You need to realize that if she was in a mood or excited to give you head she would of done it without you asking. You can't expect her to get all happ[ily go wild, excited because you insisted on it or you brought it up.

    Although i enjoy giving head to my hubby and 99.99% of the time i am the one initiating it, i can tell you that head does little to nothing for us as far as satisfaction goes. Its all mental and we need to be in that vibe of " oh god i just want to taste his cock in my mouth and i mean RIGHT NOW". Aside from that mental turn on, there is nothing else that can excite us about it, so if she wasn't in that mood there is nothing you could do to make her get in it except may be have an amazingly sexy and blowable cock in which case you wouldn't even have to ask for it just show it out and about.

    FYI not every woman tries to use sex as power and control gathering tool. Not every woman feels always the same way about sex, head even you going down on her. I am sure even though you love going down on her, there are some times when you don't feel like doing it right at that moment and having someone hussle you into doing it can kill it for you as well to the point that you are forced to do it not because you love it but because you are made to.
     
  13. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    if a certain sexual act is super high on your priority list, you should consider leaving the girl or talking to her about this. the only way i have come up with presenting this in a serious relationship is along the lines of "im not ready to spend the rest of my life without x, we need to come up with a solution"
     
  14. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    this was one time, right?

    try thinking about all the times she does happily go down on you, which sounds totally opposite of your ex. dont just focus on the negative, remember all the positive too.

    if this happens all the time, and its a big deal to you, then talk to her about it. if this was the first time, let it slide and remember that you always get it every other time, and that once is nothing to get pissed off about.
     
  15. Avenger97

    Avenger97 New Member

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    Interesting situation you have.. and i kinda agree with everyone else.. if its a one time thing.. let it slide...

    i'm kinda in the same boat.. me and my GF are in a nearly 2.5year relationship now , tho we did take about a 8 month break when she was goin thru a hard time (we both saw and had sex with others , and we both know about it)

    since we got back together in Feburary, just about every time we have had sex , i have given her a licking , and she always enjoys it (at least as far as she tells me) , but i have yet to get anything in return in that area.. however i used to get it all the time before our break.. im thinking she has some sort of complex about it or something now, and trying to find the right way to bring it up...

    ideas???
     
  16. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Be honest. Tell her you used to love when she gave you head and you've noticed she no longer wants to do it. Ask her why.
     
  17. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    :rofl: Falconer you're a funny guy...
     
  18. Mr. Bungle

    Mr. Bungle *lube'n up the shock paddles*

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    Honestly, you remind me of my ex and it's really your frame of mind. Head is so important to you, that you are paranoid about losing it. A lot of things can go through HER head, like does he prefer head over fucking me? Which for me and most other girls is a shitty thought.

    I guess you can label me your "bitch" ex girlfriend because head was a chore for me and I hated it every time he'd ask for it, it would totally turn me off.

    ~~~

    Flash forward, I'm with an amazing guy now that I actually DREAM about giving head to and could suck on it for hours. I think it's because we click on all levels, and it's amazing.



    Head is tied into a lot more than just sex in my opinion and EVERYTHING needs to click for sex to click...but that is coming from a girl where sex = love we aren't all the same.
     
    Last edited: Jun 9, 2008
  19. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :werd:
     
  20. Mr. Bungle

    Mr. Bungle *lube'n up the shock paddles*

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    :h5:
     
  21. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    I didn't read all the posts in here but I can say there have been times where I got turned off when a girl didn't want to give me head, but not every time. Ask/tell the girl to go down on you and if she doesn't, move on to something else enjoyable without any hesitation. If it was something that happened all the time I could see a reason for concern, but maybe she just wasn't in the mood for it?

    I thoroughly enjoy going down on a girl as long as I'm in the right mood for it. I don't know what it is that puts me in the mood but there are times where I'd rather go down on a girl than fuck her.

    Quit idolizing blowjobs and you'll see yourself having less issues.
     
  22. eskarinna

    eskarinna New Member

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    for god sake he told her she SHOULD give him head that just right there can kill every desire to do so and turn it into chore.
     
  23. Mr. Bungle

    Mr. Bungle *lube'n up the shock paddles*

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    :werd:

    If a girl doesn't start moving in that direction she wants something else. End of story.
     
  24. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    For clarification, there's a certain tone with which you can say "you should do such-and-such" that makes it like a polite command. Imagine you're at a bar flirting with a girl and you guys are building crazy attraction and she gives you a flirty look and says "you should come back to my place." It's not an order.

    It's kind of hard to read over text; I should've been more specific.

    I wasn't ordering her, or giving her advice. It was just a little nicer way of saying "baby go down on me" or whatever.

    She says it to me a lot, she'll be like "you should go down on me" (probably because she would feel weird saying "go down on me now!" or something).
     
  25. CorpseStreet

    CorpseStreet New Member

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    Even though I blow my SO often and I love doing it for him I can't say the act does anything for me. That might just be the case since sometimes it can feel like a chore. You shouldn't expect every girl you date to get any enjoyment out of it. I think your reaction was a bit silly but you can't help how you feel when it comes down to it. If you were able to change your thinking on the matter you might not have such a bad response.
     

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