I'm only 19, second year in college, and I'm constantly having the mindset that I need to be mature like an adult right now and do everything that will ensure a happy future, as opposed to having fun as a college kid and being more liberal and free. I want to work hard and have a better life in the future, than have a fun life now and a crappy life later on. I want to be a hardcore athlete, do everything that's healthy and stay in top shape so my body will be fine while others' will be aged. I don't want a lot of girlfriends or fool around with girls because I want a serious and functional relationship when marriage time comes. I don't need a lot of friends now cause they'll most likely drift away later on. All in all, my conscience keeps telling me that my life isn't about NOW, it's about the future, and that I need to figure out the way to live a perfect life. I see kids who have fun everyday not caring about anything, and I see those who spend their time helping others, working to support their family and improving themselves. As for me, I feel compelled to be on a side, cause it's too hard to be on both. Should I be the one who sacrifices fun for service to others? Should I have fun cause it's what being a kid is about, before we really have to grow up and go out into the real world? It's easier said than done to just be myself and be on both sides, and I think it comes down to feelings of guilt for not being more mature, and doing the 'righteous' things, and feelings of jealousy and 'missing out' for not having drunken college fun like others. Is there any way to just be content with where I am and not wonder so much what I SHOULD be doing and how I should be thinking?