SRS Is there anyone who you can be 100% yourself with ?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Lazy D., May 18, 2009.

  1. Lazy D.

    Lazy D. Active Member

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    No one knows even 50% of real me. I can be more open with a stranger because I'm not afraid of losing him/her. How does it feel to have someone in your life who accepts you as a whole ? I can't imagine how painful it would be to lose them.
     
  2. Legend Zero

    Legend Zero OT Supporter

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    i can't say anyone knows me fully. I wish i had someone that did, who would accept me for me. But i don't, some know my sappy side, some know my twisted jokes side, and some know me as a bore cause i don't know how to act around them. I sincerely hope, one day, i find a individual who will accept me for simply me. I guess I have one friend who knows me better than the rest, but even that, i'd say its close to 80% and as the years go forward and we move away from our commonalities, the percentage goes lower.
     
  3. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    My close friends and girlfriend see the real me 99% of the time. I have nothing to hide, and if you don't like me... well I am not going to fake it just to get your attention.
     
  4. kf4zht

    kf4zht New Member

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    I stay fairly closed off. Most people who know me only see a small bit of my personality, even my closest friends only see about 80%. My family sees much less
     
  5. illectronic

    illectronic I'm Coming Home OT Supporter

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    Yes, I have a close younger cousin that knows me in and out and I know him in and out. Important to have at least 1 friend like that to air out your shit.
     
  6. Navvik

    Navvik Active Member

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    Even I dont see everything. At the end of the day I feel like i dont know who I am, and neither do my friends and family
     
  7. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    my husband and my siblings. it took a while to get to that point though
     
  8. Julius

    Julius Guest

    Nope, I don't trust anybody. Not even my family.

    I guess that's pretty cold hearted, but it saves me a lot of grief and makes my own life much easier.
     
  9. Lazy D.

    Lazy D. Active Member

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    really ? That's interesting and weird at the same time.
     
  10. Lazy D.

    Lazy D. Active Member

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    I never pretend, but i can't tell them everything. I carry most of my past by myself.
     
  11. Lazy D.

    Lazy D. Active Member

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    it is easier, i agree, but do you never feel the need to be more open to someone ?
     
  12. Navvik

    Navvik Active Member

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    I know, sometimes i have dreams that I'm other people. Like... its not that i cant be honest, but in that exact moment when asked i answer what i belive to be the truth, and a couple of hours later the answer will be different. It reminds me of that family guy bit where chris is talking about his scrotum and how he thinks he's made up of two different people. Sorta like that, minus the humor. Sometimes I think i'm crazy.
     
  13. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    4 people.

    my gf and 3 of my close friends.
     
  14. riven

    riven Push the envelope. Watch it bend.

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    Same here for the most part. I learned early on in life that it is easier to be a chameleon.
     
  15. Daria

    Daria New Member

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    Person who I am the most myself around: b/f -> he knows EVERYTHING, even the second I'm thinking / feeling something new I tell him (ex. spontaneous hugging, spontaneous bitching)

    Others I'm myself around: Mommy, sister, grandmother, and 1 friend. Even then, I try to fake politeness for the sake of politeness or being nice. But I"m generally myself around them.

    If I have thought about losing these people before and the feeling that comes to me is a feeling that a part of my world / existance on this earth has ended / died.

    I agree here. It's ALOOOT easier just to try and blend in, but it's a hell of a lot funner when you don't have to be, even if those moments are not as frequent.
     
  16. Julius

    Julius Guest

    Never. I learned that people love to exploit weaknesses.

    The reality is that I'm a pretty isolated person, so I'm content at this point with dying anonymously and without any ties. I find comfort in swinging to various communities without ever leaving a trace of myself too.
     
  17. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    this thread surprises me... am i the only one who feels like i'm being myself all the time?
     
  18. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    i'm always being myself, but i may sensor things based on how others will react. i dont sensor with my husband or siblings, no matter what my thoughts or actions might be or how they might react.
     
  19. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    ah i see. i mean, i guess i censor myself at work... i'm not going to tell some customer that i think their outfit sucks or something :o
     
  20. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Well, I'll tell you my experience,. If I don't open the door to let some people in, and I keep the wall up all the time -- my isolation turns into a prison, and then not only am I alone, but I feel like a coward for not at least trying -- no matter how many times I get hurt. A prison gives you certainty. You'll always fail, but at least you'll always be in control. The price you is a high one though.

    Success in life -- in anything -- always comes as a result of numerous failures. It's the willingness to risk being hurt, and to open up, that allows us the possibility of experience the great things that happen when we "do" find that person who we can share everything with.

    It took me a lot time, but I found a girl. It's funny that she lives 6K miles away, but we see each other 8 months out of the year.

    Here was our last conversation:

    Me: Wash the fuckin' dishes for christ sakes.
    Her: *shrug*
    Me: What the hell. You leave all these crumbs on the table.
    Her: *shrug*
    Me: You're cheating on me aren't you?
    Her: His name is frank.
    Me: Fuck you...whore

    Me & Her: Start making out and fuck for a good 30 mins, then go back to pissing about who's going to wash the dishes.
     
  21. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    exactly! or my example...i have a crude sense of humor, and i am sure many of my coworkers would be horrified if they found out how much i loved dead baby jokes, or how offensive i can be.
     
  22. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Yeah, different environments require censoring behavior in order to serve the agenda of the business you are employed for. This is why -- even when I mod OT -- I don't take anything personal. I just do what I'm told in respect to the rules.

    Outside of obligations -- which is what Lazy is talking about -- I'm 100% myself. I do offend people sometimes. Let me give you an example.

    This was an accident which I did apologize for.

    Yesterday I went to get blood draw at a clinic. Me, my girlfriend were sitting there, and I get called in. I get the blood then walk out into the waiting room.

    Me: Oh my god, that was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. The Needle was -----------------------> big and it bled all over, I think I might die!
    Girlfriend: Oh shut up you liar, it didn't hurt.
    Me: No really, I think I have AIDS!

    Needless to say, I wasn't thinking that about 15 other people wre in the same room. One was a mother and child sitting directly behind my girlfriend -- who I didn't see when I came out.

    The little girl and mother turned and looked at me -- the little girl was in tears, she looked terrified, like she was peeing her pants.

    The Mother: What was that about the needle? How big
    Me: Oh uh, uh, Gee, well it was actually very small, almost nothing really.
    The Mother: And did it hurt?
    Me: Oh no, not at all, it was so easy, I didn't feel anything.

    The little girl still looked terrified but started to settle down. The mothers eye went from pure red hatred to calm after I soothed the situation.


    The point is, being yourself in some environments can inpact others who may be coming from a totally different place. It's important to have some sensitivity for what others may or may not find tolerable or offensive.

    So, sometimes you modulate your behavior because doing so promotes a higher cause -- but that's it.
     
  23. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    My bestie and my SO. Everyone else- I'm myself but censored.
     
  24. Lazy D.

    Lazy D. Active Member

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    maybe I wasn't clear enough. I am myself all the time. I just don't anyone anything. I have so many secrets. My closest friends don't know anything, I'm not even talking about my parents/brother.
     
  25. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Yep....my sense of humor has offended so many people over the years that I tend to censor myself around a lot of people. It sucks sometimes because I don't trust my mouth. :)

    I don't know why but I find really offensive things hysterical and a lot of people just find them offensive.

    Sometimes I feel like I'm not being myself around them and perhaps that's true to an extent. I try to balance that with honesty and in all other areas.
     

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