SRS Is telling her I miss her going to make me look like a bitch?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Sirc, May 28, 2008.

  1. Sirc

    Sirc Dr. Hourse Crew #1

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    So the girl I "dated" for 6 months finally moved. I knew from the start that the relationship was meant to die. I tried to prepare for it, and tried to not let it affect me, and I tried to not get attached to her, but even then, I've never felt so compelled to protect someone or care for someone so much before. I think by all standards, I fell in love with her.

    Now that she's gone and finally moved, I took the last month or so to prepare for it, I can't seem to not let it affect me. I miss her.

    Saying it makes me feel stupid. I don't know why, but I just feel like less of a man or something if I say that I miss her or she'll think I'm crazy for telling her that I miss her.

    What should I do? I can't shake this icky feeling I have inside. I've never really missed anybody before and most of the close relationships I've had come and go, but this is the first time I've really felt empty inside.

    Fucking women and their demon magic.
     
    Last edited: May 28, 2008
  2. glass

    glass New Member

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    it'll make you feel like one too.

    you know your own situation better than anyone - if you can objectively say that telling her you miss her has a chance of doing more good than it's gonna cost you, then do that. if not (or if you can't think objectively), move on. don't give up more than you've already lost.
     
  3. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    do you still talk to her semi often to where this wouldnt be out of the blue to have you contacting her?

    i dont think its a big deal if you miss her. and i dont think its a bad thing to tell her. she probably misses you too if you guys were semi dating for a while
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    First of all, she's gone and you have to start dealing with it.

    You only dated for 6 months and by all standards that doesn't mean you were "in love" with her, just means you really care about her and possibly became infatuated with her and now that she's gone that accelerates you missing her because all you can focus on are those good honeymoon phase feelings.

    Secondly, What would telling her you miss her do for you? What are you expecting her to say or do after saying it? Will telling her you miss her lift a giant amount of weight off your shoulders? Or are you really just hoping she'll tell you she misses you too, loves you and wants to get back together?

    Have you guys talked since she left? If you have then telling her you miss her now would be a little :ugh: most likely.
     
  5. Chickenbum

    Chickenbum TOTW Winnar & Fav '06 ;)

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    Ok

    i AM an authority on this so listen up.


    Congratulations, you have proved that you are infact human. I cried when my puppy of 1 year died, i cried a lot.

    But much in the same way you must replace the time you spent with her with someone or something else. Take up a hobby, learn an instrument, join a sport club, learn psychology, learn dance, learn pottery....JUST DO NOT SIT AT HOME AND MOPE.

    I sat at home and moped and almost killed myself and my mother, im not lying, search for my posts....



    Seriously, time spent alone is bad, call up some old friends, hang out, be a boy again, i know its cliched but TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS....2 months from now youll read this post and giggle.


    Get your mind off it and replace her with someone or something else. Completely cut her off, delete her from MSN, Facebook, her photos, her emails, anything that reminds you of her, have a spring clean and sanitize yourself.
     
  6. Sirc

    Sirc Dr. Hourse Crew #1

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    We still talk. I don't know. I've never really felt this strongly about someone. Even my ex of 3 years, I never felt this strongly for. She was really compatible with me and she fit most of the standards I have for women.

    I'm hoping that telling her I miss her will make me feel less missing her. Maybe she'll say she misses me too. If she does, that'll probably make me feel good and less inclined to feeling like this. I've never really missed anybody or really felt this icky because someone's left me before. So it's a new feeling and hard to deal with.

    I'm not doing that. I'm actually spending time doing things and making stuff happen. I run my own business which forces me to get up and do things. The rest is just that lingering feeling of loss, which I'm not really that accustomed to.
     
  7. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    dont kid yourself. telling her wont make you stop missing her, especially if she says she misses you too

    so if you two were so compatible, by did you break up instead of trying to make long distance work?
     
  8. Sirc

    Sirc Dr. Hourse Crew #1

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    Her dad is dying of Lou Gherig's and her mom is dying of some neurological disease.

    She has enough stress and worries herself right now. I don't want her having to worry about me too. Between the track racing and the 3-4 seasonal fights I have, she thinks I'm going to die as well.

    :hs:
     
  9. okietiger

    okietiger New Member

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    How does she feel towards you? Have you sat down and really talked about your feelings towards each other? If she cared for you as much as you do her then why dont you move to were she is?
     
  10. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    how far is the distance between you two right now?

    i understand she is under a lot of stress, but she also needs some serious support right now. i would hope that you could be that caring boy in her life that is there for her through all of this (which i hope you are doing if you are still talking to her). thats not a stress, its a relief

    how often do you guys talk as well?
     
  11. Sirc

    Sirc Dr. Hourse Crew #1

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    Text almost every day. Talk once every couple of days or so. The distance is about 200 miles.

    I'm doing the best I can to be there to support her. She's really awesome and I'd hate to lose her, but there's only so much I can do before my needs also need to be met.

    She thinks I'm great, and deep down inside, I know she cares for me just as much as I care for her. We've talked about it. I told her that I've never really felt this strongly for someone before. And I can't move to her because I have a business I have to run from here.
     
  12. okietiger

    okietiger New Member

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    I can understand about the business but what about expanding it to where she is? or even moving it? just a thaught.
     
  13. Sirc

    Sirc Dr. Hourse Crew #1

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    I secretly plan on it. I also secretly subtly named some stuff after her. She hasn't gotten it yet.
     
  14. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    here's an idea, be a man for the first time in your life. There are millions of women, and although the odds aren't great that you'll find a cool one out of that bunch, if you "play" with enough of them you will find a cool one in the bunch. You need to suck it up, and be a man. Nothing is fair in life, and our primordial "king of the jungle" mentality is part of the dating/mating process. If you want to get over this girl or get her back, you have to give yourself options because no woman wants a pathetic guy. They are wired to find men to take care of them, and if you can't show her that you're large and in charge, she and no other woman will want you.

    Besides, there is no real reason to be all grumpy over this girl. For whatever reason, she chose to leave. She could stay with you if she really wanted to, but she didn't so now go out there and take what is yours.

    Seriously, kill or be killed. Do you want your sex life to be comprised of you and the internet, or do you want to have choices?
     
    Last edited: May 29, 2008
  15. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    You'd be an idiot to expand your company to her location just for her.

    Why don't you try having an actual LDR with her before you make ridiculously rash decisions.
     
  16. Sirc

    Sirc Dr. Hourse Crew #1

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    I had made plans beforehand to expand over in that area, not exactly her city, but close enough.

    I'd rather just not have to deal with these stupid emotions in the end of it all. I'm not grumpy so much as I am just sad and have a feeling of loss. Stupid icky dumb emotions.
     

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