SRS Is something off or is it the 'norm' these days?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by urbanlegend, Jan 3, 2007.

  1. urbanlegend

    urbanlegend One Love

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    To start off, like others, I rather not get into the "whole" story because it'll get really long and the cliffs would be a novel too :p


    Most people will give the general advice of, go see a doctor or speak to a counsellor. I guess I'm just sharing some things on here in the hopes of alleviating some thoughts/feelings and maybe get a better perspective on things.

    I notice myself slipping into these 'depressed' states every once in a while. Sometimes it'll last a day or two, others a few weeks, sometimes longer. I might go a whole 4-6 months of feeling great and then I slip into a really negative place. I'm not poor by any means, my social skills are fine, if not above the average person, I am employed, have a great family, loving SO, etc. etc.

    I've always been the type to not except the 'norm' and to question why we do things a certain way and why our society acts/is geared towards certain behaviours and trends. I've been through a fairly traumatic experience twice in my life; once at a young age and approximately 2 and a half years ago, an experience which almost left me brain dead/dead (was attacked and hospitalized). Before the latter experience, I didn't really notice myself being very sad. Most of the time I would do the usual things: play sports, hang out with friends, read, exercise, go to school/work etc. etc. Actually, prior to me feeling some of these feelings, I was turning things around for myself. I changed my eating habits and did what I had always wanted to do - lose weight and get back into great shape (great for self esteem? amIright? :mamoru:). I also finished school and the two goals that I had reached really made me feel excited about life and the future.

    Anyways to continue, many of my friends are either away at school or have moved relatively far away and although I see them, its never for very long or very often (this stuff happens as we grow older and walk different paths most of the time). What makes this even worse is, my gf of a few years is away at school as well. We make every chance we have to see each other and spend time together, and we've made efforts such as buying calling cards, webcams and microphones, etc. to keep in touch on a daily basis. Our relationship is great - I can't really complain aside from the fact that the long distance is crap. When she's home, I notice a bit of 'stress' is off my shoulders. She's physically closer to me, I can see her almost anytime I have a chance, even if it's for a few minutes, and costs/time consumption/effort of communication and visits is significantly reduced. When she and my friends go back to school, it's a total shock to my system. Most of the time I can fight it and I can stay focussed and content, but I do slip into the feeling of just wanting to be alone or sleeping a lot. Sometimes it just feels like life is so shitty in the sense that, there's so many struggles, suffering in life for people, and we're always working so hard and going through all this stuff for the smallest amount of happiness.

    I have a couple friends who have depression and are on medication and they've told me such things as see a doctor and see what he/she says, find some hobbies, stay busy, etc. I keep relatively busy: I work 9 hour days, I exercise, I have hobbies in sports and I try and hang out with friends, play games, etc. as much as possible. I do not abuse drugs or try and escape reality, but I do ocassionally drink (more of a cultural thing with meals and to enjoy the taste of an alcohol rather than to get wasted and be a fool).
    Buying things or always spending money doesn't make me happy. I enjoy nice things in life, but really I am the type of person to be content with having a comfortable (decent) life - nothing lavish - and just enjoying experiences/time with the people I really care about. I also consider the idea of moving to get a fresh start and experience a different lifestyle, i.e.: moving to the islands or to Europe, etc. but I don't really know if that'll change things.

    I really don't want to continue to feel this way, but I have noticed some of the same feelings/thoughts with some of my friends and peers. They've told me they feel sad and 'depressed' or negative at times and I notice some try and escape reality with drugs and what-not.

    To me it seems that more and more people are showing signs of depression and severe emotional/mental isolation. Am I the only one who gets down often? Is depression becoming a norm in our society?

    Any thoughts OT? :wavey:
     
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2007
  2. urbanlegend

    urbanlegend One Love

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    Thanks for the advice - it is worth the try and I'll give it a shot. Thanks Viper.

    I spent a couple of years visiting different religions and even visiting their places of worship. I read books and spoke with followers, but in the end, I came to find that organized religion wasn't what I needed. The closer I thought I was getting towards organized religion, the more I realized I was far from it. After a lot of time and thought, I became happier with my own personal beliefs, morales, and so forth. I do have a sense of spirituality and I do believe in God, but organized faith just does not suit who I am or how I think/feel at this point in my life.

    As far as filling that hole, that's going to be very hard. Somethings in my life have really helped close up that hole, such as my loving girlfriend. She really completes me and makes me feel excited about the future with her. I see us fufilling all of our dreams together. We are more than just girlfriend/boyfriend, but we are truly best friends. For probably the first time in my life I am able to say that I have a BEST friend - not just a really good friend I always hang out with, or a close relative, but a friend that I can go to for anything, and that will be there for me no matter what. This is a great blessing that not everyone gets the chance to experience. But sometimes I can't help but feel a little bit of loneliness when she's far away and we lose a lot of that physical/mental closeness because we are apart and are focussed on other things.

    It's frustrating at times because it seems like a lot of things are pointless. We try and tell ourselves its all mental and that we should put on a smile no matter what, but what does that really solve? Nothing in my eyes. We only mask ourselves and put on a facade to help us get by, while we still suffer silently and passively.

    Sometimes I look at everyone, including myself, the way we talk and behave, our surroundings, and just think, "hey, we're all really really weird." :mamoru:


    I guess having these feelings makes me feel alone, maybe it's something else. I just want to find out why we (I) feel this way, and how to improve on it 'cause I don't think there will be a 100% 'fix' for it.


    Anyways I could go on and on, but I'll wait for more responses and thoughts from you guys/girls.
     
  3. urbanlegend

    urbanlegend One Love

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    Everything you say is something I have recognized and try to deal with - from balancing things in life to relationships.

    We all do need balance and spirituality, whether its religion or not, and we need relationships. Human beings crave it and it's apart of who we are.

    We try our best to make time for each other and put ourselves out to make time. I've done things in the past, such as adjusting my school schedule and work schedule to make time where I could go visit her. When I didn't have means of transportation, I'd walk and take several buses just to get out to see her for a day or two. The effort and desire is there in our relationship, but because we're going on 3 years of long periods of time away, the taxing is very apparent. We've both dealt with it, and I'm probably more vocal about how I feel about it. For a period of time it was eating away at me, but I learned to balance things and was able to control those negative feelings. As of late though, they've crept back on me and its difficult to shake.

    Balancing is definately something that I've lost site of over the past couple of years. At times I focus too much on my physical state, others on my emotional state. My spirtual state has definately taken a back seat to my physical and emotional state. I do believe I need to find that balance again.
     
  4. urbanlegend

    urbanlegend One Love

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    Thanks :bigthumb:
     
  5. urbanlegend

    urbanlegend One Love

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    I've come across this arguement before, but then there's the other arguement of "long distance will make you stronger" or "this will show true colours and feelings" etc. etc.

    This is definately not something I want to give up on as it's been the most important thing in my life.

    I guess every situation is different, and you have to be in the shoes of the people to get a real feel for the situation.
     
  6. urbanlegend

    urbanlegend One Love

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    I hear you. I won't lie, I hate the long distance :dunno: Time goes by so slow without her, and with her, it's as if we've been together on for a few moments.

    All I know is that she's one of the first things I think about when I wake-up and when I go to sleep and its been years of this feeling. The thought of her helps motivate me. When I feel those down periods, it's something else inside of me and I can't quite put my finger on it, although, balance is something I am now considering.
     
  7. urbanlegend

    urbanlegend One Love

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    I hear you. She isn't my only motivating factor... what I meant was she/our future helps push me that much more. Know what I mean?

    Anyways, lol, this is turning into a relationship topic now.... kinda deviating :o
     
  8. urbanlegend

    urbanlegend One Love

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    I had a great weekend.. felt happy, etc. etc.


    This morning is like a reverse feeling. I feel like crap. Things seem somewhat bleek and frustrating. I have no idea what came over me but it's rough. I started feeling that way Sunday evening but I was able to do the mind > matter and it was cool. Now I just feel in a state of almost being disoriented... like I'm going crazy inside or something. Blahhhhhhh.
     

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