SRS Is she even interested...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Lateralus, Jan 19, 2007.

  1. Lateralus

    Lateralus New Member

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    I setup a date with a girl I've been talking to for tomorrow night, nothing special just a simple dinner date. This morning she text messages me saying she got called off work today, and asked if we could go out tonight instead. I replied and said that it was fine, and said "Same time/place?" Then she asked if we could move it to an hour later, so I said sure that's fine. Basically I'm just wondering if I'm just setting myself up to be let down, you would think that it would be a good thing that a girl wants to move the date to a day earlier but I'm not getting that vibe from her. Sorry for ranting, just looking for some insight.
     
  2. Lateralus

    Lateralus New Member

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    That's what I needed to hear so thank you for that, this is my first real date after being out of a 3 year relationship for about 8 months so I'm not going in with any real high expectations. We'll see how it goes, thanks.
     
  3. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    Word to that! That is about as true as it can get!
     
  4. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    This is your insecurity talking. How does her moving the date a day earlier and an hour later indicate anything about how she feels?

    There is no insight into this. Go out, have fun, if she's interested (and if you are, obviously) go out again. Don't read too much into moving the day/time.
     
  5. Lateralus

    Lateralus New Member

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    Yeah you're probably right, we'll see how it goes.
     
  6. nish81

    nish81 OT Supporter

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    So, how'd it go?
     
  7. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Dude, he posted 3 hours ago. I don't think he's been on the date yet. :)
     
  8. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    rofl
     
  9. Lateralus

    Lateralus New Member

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    The date got moved back to it's original time of tomorrow night, but it was for a legit reason she has to be on call for work for so many hours per day and she got called in. Anyway she sounds like she's very much looking forward to the date tomorrow, I'll update once I get back.
     
  10. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    thats not entirely true. Sometimes things cant be changed. What's important is that she's willing to make room in her schedule for you. Since she changed the date to a day earlier because of work, it makes sense that she might have to change the time as well
     
  11. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    update?
     
  12. Lateralus

    Lateralus New Member

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    Well this may have been the weirdest date I've ever been on. Early on I thought things were going well, she came dressed very nicely and greeted me with a hug. The conversation overall wasn't too bad during dinner, but I felt like I had to try really hard to get her to start talking. I tried to keep the conversation focuses on her for the most part, I didn't want to talk about myself or say too much too soon which I found to be a lot harder than you would think. Anyway we finished up dinner and she said that her friend wanted to meet me, so we met her at a local sports bar down the road and had a drink. I was kind of quiet for the most part, which is how I act around new people I don't know, and I also thought it was rather odd that her friend would want to meet me that soon. Well through out the time we were there my date and her friend kept talking about what they wanted to do later on. They decided that they wanted to go to a local dance club, and her friend asked me if I was going to join them and I cautiously agreed. From this point on we all left from there and drove separately and I followed them to the club we were going to go to. We end up pulling in a parking lot and a minute later she gives me a call and says that her friends are planning on going to a bunch of clubs she won't be able to get into because she's not 21, so instead she was just now going to go home for the night. So that basically ended it, she apologized for me having to follow them around for a few minutes for nothing and told me to call her later if I wanted to.

    Sorry for the length of the post, but I was trying to make sure I got everything in there. Regardless I really don't know where we stand, I don't know whether it's worth my time to give her a call in a couple days or not, any opinions are appreciated.
     
  13. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    Sounds to me like she wasn't into you, and used her lifeline to beat a cowardly retreat.

    How did you meet this girl, and how did you even get the first date?
     
  14. Lateralus

    Lateralus New Member

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    I had an old Yahoo Personals profile up and she happened to contact me through there. She was local, good looking and seemed like a nice girl, I talked to her a couple times on the phone and asked her to go on a date. She accepted and seemed to be genuinely interested in going, and like I said I thought the date started off decent, but for whatever reason went down hill from there. Either way if I decide I want to try and contact her again, I'm not planning on calling for at least a couple more days.
     
  15. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    Dont. It sounds like she thought you seemed good enough to check out, no sparks flew, so she bailed. It happens, dont sweat it. Dont spend anymore thought on her though. If she calls you up, go out with her and her friends, but dont consider it a 'date' or anything, unless she initiates some sort of physical contact (ie kiss)

    you could meet some friend of hers who you do click with, so just dont sweat the lack of connection, and you should be good
     
  16. Lateralus

    Lateralus New Member

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    Yep that's pretty much how I'm looking at it, thanks for listening.
     
  17. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    :hug:
     
  18. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    The minute she said her friend wanted to meet her somewhere else, you could have easily made an exit. Hell, she was probably expecting you too. That was obviously her way of getting the date over with...her friend probably really didn't want to meet you.

    Why would you agree to go meet her friend? The date is about you and her, not about you and her and her friend. Well, it's one thing if you knew of that before settting up the date..but seriously, why did you go along with all that stuff? If the two of them had wanted company on their outing, they would have planned it from the beginning.

    No offense to you, but I'm guessing that it was awkward for them, and them talking about what they wanted to do later in the night was a way of dropping hints that they wanted you to leave.

    Live and learn I guess....next time a woman leaves a date to go do something else, that't your cue to leave too. And since the first date didn't go well, why would you call her again? It's not like something came up, or an accident happened...she deliberately left the date.
     
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2007
  19. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    This is why I don't buy women dinner for a first date. Nothing personal, but how much did you spend? First dates for me are *just* a drink. If it's going good, then a second. Still going? Okay, then maybe an appetizer. Take small steps.

    She got a free meal out of you, then bailed on you by calling her friends in. Next time a woman says she wants you to meet her friend, understand that she is calling the shots. Women don't like men who they can lead around like that. I would have told her "No, thanks very much, but I think this date is over. It was nice meeting you, and I wish you all the best." Send the signal that you know she's trying to ditch. I doubt any guy has ever done that to her, and now you are in charge.

    And YOU dumped HER.

    There is a lot more to it than just that, of course, but basically you should never let her change the date, never let her invite friends along, and never spent more than $10 on her. Remember this lesson for next time, and do it again. Pretty soon you will find a woman who just wants to be with you. :big grin:
     
  20. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    Theres no such thing as 'dumping' someone on a first date

    to be dumped/dump, you have to actually be a couple
     
  21. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Hey OP, You should read the last three posts carefully. They correctly give you the entire scoop on your "date".

    No need to keep "wondering" or analysing. Just read and learn, the whole thing is right there.

    And stop spending big coin on these initial meet/greet things. $10 bucks or so, if you need a number. Coffee and chats, that's it.

    Blowing big coin on your first meeting is not a pimp move, it's a low confidence move. Stop doing that.
     
  22. Crush

    Crush Epidural hematoma up in this bitch

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    I don't always understand why people feel a need to dictate how much they spend on dates? I usually plan the date so that I will enjoy my time, that way even if everything else goes south, I'm doing something I like.

    Once you've established a relationship, you can open yourself up to things that aren't your favorites.
     
  23. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    The main reasons i have heard are: don't spend a lot in case it doesn't go well, and you're out a ton of money with nothing to show for it. The other main one is: If you go for a big expensive date, there's no way to tell if the person is going for the free stuff, or to actually be with you.

    A person might go out on a date with someone they weren't really attracted to if it got them a free dinner at a nice restaurant. Would the same person go out with that someone if it was just for a cup of coffee, or a walk on a nice scenic route?

    Probably not.

    And there are a few true gold diggers out there in the world.
     
  24. Lateralus

    Lateralus New Member

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    Thank you all for the feedback I really appreciate it. If I remember correctly I spent around $22.00 on dinner give or take a few dollars for a tip, so I'm not out too much but I know I shouldn't have even spent that amount. Honestly everything that you all have brought up was dead on, and I feel foolish for going along with it. All I can say is that I'll take the advice you've given me here, and try to do better next time, live and learn I guess.
     
  25. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    :dunno: no reason for feeling stupid for going on the date, it just wasn't meant to be
     

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