i pay money to a EX to raise a kid we had together,i knew about the kid but due to our relationship at the time i moved away for work reasons, out of the blue she contacts me, just happens before i am returning to visit my family, she didnt know this just i didnt live in the same state anymore, she wants me to see my son, after seeing him and returning to my current location she contacts me about paying money to raise him, she claims her EX was paying this as he wanted to adopt him. And they had a fight over something and know he will not pay. hence asking me for the money, this is being done thru a legal agreement i do not have to pay for the time i didnt only the time since the claim was raised. which i have been doing. Now the question i ask am i being selfish by quiting my high paying job to be closer location wise to my son, since the time involed and costs involved in visiting my son are not the best, 3 days drive or a days plane trip each way.