SRS Is it wrong to want sex every day?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by shiyan, Jul 9, 2009.

  1. shiyan

    shiyan grabbing titties in amusement parks OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2003
    Messages:
    80,489
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Belgium
    Seems like my libido is a bit higher than my SO's :(

    *insert 5 black guys comment here*
     
  2. THoC

    THoC New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2007
    Messages:
    7,341
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    TRampa, FL
    is it wrong? no.

    if you are not pleased w. your SO sex drive talk to her/him.

    if nothing can be resolved decide if they are worth staying w. knowing that you will not get to have sex daily.
     
  3. shiyan

    shiyan grabbing titties in amusement parks OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2003
    Messages:
    80,489
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Belgium
    she's willing to go to a therapist, but I don't know if that's something that can be changed

    perhaps it's her bc pills
     
  4. THoC

    THoC New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2007
    Messages:
    7,341
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    TRampa, FL
    my ex was no where into sex as i was. we tried multiple things. nothing worked. its just who she was/is.

    our relationship ended partially bc of it.
     
  5. THoC

    THoC New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2007
    Messages:
    7,341
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    TRampa, FL
    not saying that's your scenario. but sometimes we have to realize we cannot "make" people do what they do not want.

    you then have to decide if daily sex is worth more or less then her.

    may i ask how often you do have sex?
     
  6. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2007
    Messages:
    11,400
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hey man, sorry to hear about the current situation. There could be a variety of reasons. Talking to her doctor would be a better direction to go than talking to a therapist unless you both believe that something psychological could be causing this.

    Has her sexual behavior changed recently?
     
  7. shiyan

    shiyan grabbing titties in amusement parks OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2003
    Messages:
    80,489
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Belgium
    Thanks for the replies guys.

    Before she graduated and found a job, we always had sex more than 10 times a week except when she had her periods. When she first started at her job, we were down to 7ish. Now that she's getting more responsibilities at work we're down to like 4 times a week and I'm not happy about that at all, as she still wants to cuddle. She can fall asleep like that but I'm just a ball of pent up frustration and can't fall asleep.

    Just now I went for a run (it's past midnight), but I still didn't feel like sleeping, so I rubbed one out to a porno, probably one of the few times I've done so since we've been together. I really don't want to do this as I'd rather release in her.

    She says that she loves me deeply but physically does not crave for sex every day, but that latter part makes me feel unloved/undesired "do I suck at sex?!!!" (perhaps immature on my part? but that's just how I feel)

    it's a really shitty situation as I don't want to say to her "so should I go masturbate on my own?", as she would take that as a threat
     
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2009
  8. THoC

    THoC New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2007
    Messages:
    7,341
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    TRampa, FL
    how long have you guys been together? how old are you two?

    having sex 10 times a week is pretty unrealistic in most LTRs.
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    It's wrong to think you'll have sex every day or as much as you did at the beginning of the relationship.
     
  10. shiyan

    shiyan grabbing titties in amusement parks OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2003
    Messages:
    80,489
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Belgium
    a year

    26/25

    well I don't expect to keep up 10 times a week but was hoping once a day was achievable :o
    oh so it's my fault :(

    she says girls just aren't as horny as guys but I :dunno: as I'm not a girl

    maybe I just suck at the sexors :sad2:
     
  11. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2007
    Messages:
    11,400
    Likes Received:
    0
    Have you tried talking to her directly about your feelings on this? I mean, the insecurity aspect. Have you asked her if you're responsible for any of the changes, or if she's not satisfied?
     
  12. shiyan

    shiyan grabbing titties in amusement parks OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2003
    Messages:
    80,489
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Belgium
    I have, she says that's not the problem at all, that she's very satisfied, but that she's just not in the mood for sex every night, or is very tired, etc

    But back in my mind I'm thinking "well if I was really great at sex, wouldn't she want some every day? :dunno: After all, I want to bang her any time we're together"

    She compares it to being offered a great steak when she's not hungry
     
  13. THoC

    THoC New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2007
    Messages:
    7,341
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    TRampa, FL
    youve been together over a year.... its going to be unlikely that you will find a woman that will want to have sex w. daily.

    it probably has nothing to do w. you. however, you should still ask (edit: saw you did and she said nothing).

    4-5 days a week in my experience is a pretty good # in a LTR..
     
  14. THoC

    THoC New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2007
    Messages:
    7,341
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    TRampa, FL
    is this your first LTR?
     
  15. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2007
    Messages:
    11,400
    Likes Received:
    0
    You're not the problem. It sounds like her sex drive really is just slowing down. It could be the extra work and stress or some other biological cause, but you really don't sound like the source at all.
     
  16. shiyan

    shiyan grabbing titties in amusement parks OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2003
    Messages:
    80,489
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Belgium
    ah

    thanks for confirming that

    to be honest I had no idea what the libido of the average girl is like
    yeah
     
  17. shiyan

    shiyan grabbing titties in amusement parks OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2003
    Messages:
    80,489
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Belgium
    well she's been under a lot of stress lately, from work, apartment hunting, and other things, perhaps I need to help her reduce stress :hsd:

















    but I thought sex relieved stress :o

    :mamoru:
     
  18. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2007
    Messages:
    11,400
    Likes Received:
    0
    I agree, even my own relationship is a lot less then this. We're both under tremendous stress and tired a lot. 4 days per week seems to be about average based on what I've heard from others.
     
  19. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2007
    Messages:
    11,400
    Likes Received:
    0
    Probably a good idea, but remember that her idea of stress release probably isn't going to be between the sheets right now. Ask her what you can do to help her alleviate stress without inviting discussion about her flagging sex drive.
     
  20. shiyan

    shiyan grabbing titties in amusement parks OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2003
    Messages:
    80,489
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Belgium
    see edit, lol :o

    but yes, I need to think of something

    perhaps some badminton
     
  21. shiyan

    shiyan grabbing titties in amusement parks OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2003
    Messages:
    80,489
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Belgium
    I guess the answer to my question is "yes, it is unrealistic to expect daily sex" :o
     
  22. Ford4Life

    Ford4Life Guest

    Yes, it's unrealistic. She has a full time job now, and a bunch of other stuff going on. People get stressed and tired, or just not in the mood. There are days when she isn't going to feel like having sex.
     
  23. Navvik

    Navvik Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2006
    Messages:
    2,374
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Saint Paul, Minnesota
    I'm the same way. I went from being unemployed and wanting to have sex 3 times a day to working a 40+ hour a week job and only having sex once a day. And sometimes even that one a day is a struggle
     
  24. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    I'm not saying you are bad, you are just naive. Are you new at relationships? My fiancé and I have been together 3 years and are lucky to have sex 3-4 times a week. You have to realize most women just lose the drive after a while. However, you can try your best to spice it up!
     
  25. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2005
    Messages:
    110,606
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Maryland
    no.
    but i can't see having sex everyday as realistic...or maybe it's just me :o
     

Share This Page