I am really tired of life, and today I’m getting the very strong urge to just say fuck it and blow my brains out. I have no family (have 1 living family member, that’s it), no friends, and no real reason to continue on. I resigned from my job in December because I wasn’t willing to do the 60 hours weeks, my heart just wasn’t in it, so I’m unemployed. This week I finally told a female friend of several years what my true feelings for her are (I’m in love with her, and have been for a long time), that backfired. She doesn’t love me, and will never get a chance with her. I honestly can’t think of a single reason for me to stay alive anymore, and I have been trying. So here I sit, no hope, no anything, wondering if I have the courage to pull the trigger. Wondering if the feeling I have right now is a sign that it’s time to go.