SRS Is it time to call it quits?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Sylva, Mar 8, 2007.

  1. Sylva

    Sylva New Member

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    First off, sorry if this is a little jumbled or hard to read. Just trying to get a lot of thoughts out.

    It's starting to look like it's time to end my current relationship with my GF. We've been dating for about 2 years. I got involved with her when I was 19(she's the same age) and I'm now 21, almost 22. She also has a child.

    Right now I have a good job for someone with my education. I feel I should be able to do most of what I want and still have a good amount of savings in the bank. This does not seem possible with her.

    I feel like I live in a jail and she's the warden. I rarely ever go out with my friends(I used to be VERY social) and if I do I get a guilt trip from hell about it. OR it is someway conveyed to me that I must find something for her to do if I dare go out without her. I mean for god sakes, I get grilled about what time I left work and what time I get home.

    Other issues with me are she refuses to embrace a healthier lifestyle and therefore tries to limit mine. She smokes a ridiculous amount IMO and that I can not stand that. She hasn't worked in 6+ months for the most part. She doesn't keep a clean house and she get to sit around all day and take care of her child. While thats not a problem, I do expect her to keep a clean house etc. I openly communicate any issues I have and have done so for the whole relationsihp. It just doesn't seem to have any affect anymmore. I'm very much at a crossroads in my life.

    on top of that she

    She never seems to trust me and I've NEVER given her a reason to act that ay. She snooped through my phone all the time. Read my emails at home. She can talk to whoever she wants whenever she wants, it doesn't bother me who she talks to, but if I talke to one girl I get a 6 hour ass chewing.

    We seem to fight A LOT lately and it's over stupid pettey stuff that I would never think is an issue in a million years.

    it's not looking good IMO. I've brought everything to her attention(again) this week and I will probably give her another chance(should I?)I have been talking with her about those issues frequently and letting her know exactly how I feel. If she can't make the changes that have to happen to make this relationship work then I guess it wasn't meant to be. Not that I'm an angel but I feel I work diligently on any issues she bring to my attention.

    I think this is all I can do. It's not about being perfect. It's about compromise. I believe I work hard, am a good provider, I' loyal and I do the things she asks of me. I should be able to expect the same in return. But if the relationship is I want/need to accomplish.I Don't want to sacrifice all of that for the wrong reason.

    Don't get me wrong. I still care about and love the girl. But I'm not sure being together is going to work out in everyones best interest.

    A relationship is supposed to be a team effort. When one person is doing all the work, it's not much of a team. And when one person is sacrificing what might be the rest of their life so that the other person can sit around and do nothing with theirs, that's not much of a team, either.

    I feel like a 30+ year old married man and I don't want to wake up in a few years and ask myself what could of been.

    Sorry for the long post, lots of thinking and decision making going on right now. Any responses or advice would be appreciated.
     
  2. whatever

    whatever OT Supporter

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    You're just enabling her lifestyle by not sticking to your guns. YOU are the most important in your life. If you cant have a partner who not only compliments who you are but is reasonable and can make compromises and sacrifices... then kick her out.
     
  3. Lateralus

    Lateralus New Member

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    She sounds like a leech to me, the simple fact that she has not worked for 6 months plus is a deal breaker for me, unless there is a medical reason behind it. It sounds like you have a lot you want to accomplish and you're still young, so I would send her packing and move on with your life, good luck.
     
  4. Stilgar1973

    Stilgar1973 New Member

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    You deserve better then this.
    Besides, you are a bit too young yet to be thinking about forever. You have a couple more years left till you gotta worry about settling down.

    Kick it to the curb.
     
  5. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    Noone deserves this in any means. You have to be your own person before you can be you with someone. Make sense?
     
  6. Brian May

    Brian May New Member

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    break up and move on. she sounds like she isnt the one for you.

    I also remember when I was 22 and dating someone for a while. She constantly accused me of cheating, which I wasn't doing. Turns out she was the one who was doing the screwing around.
     
  7. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    People are always quick to put blame on someone else for the simple fact that they don't want people to know it's their fault. For YOUR best interests you should probably end this relationship. If later she comes back and wants to try it again and you feel she has changed then go for it. The second she does otherwise kick her to the curb slam the door and don't look out the window. Start over with someone else and live your life the way you want to live it!
     
  8. gkremian

    gkremian New Member

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    Break it off.
     
  9. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    Really sounds like you're neglecting yourself and what your heart is telling you, if you're compromising yourself in such a negative way and only allowing her lifestyle to regress what on earth are you getting out of this interaction / relationship? I mean it doesn't seem symbiotic to any degree, but parasitic, as lame as it might sound DUDE, yes time to MOVE ON and be FREEE :) don't change yourself for anyone.
     

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