SRS Is it possible to remain friends?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by PurpleBean, Jul 21, 2005.

  1. PurpleBean

    PurpleBean New Member

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    Hey Guys. I've been lurking around here for almost a year and figured it should be time to post. My question is to all of you. Have you had a strong relationship that hasn't worked out for one reason or the other, but you have remained great friends? I know everyone says they always will, but does it really work? Just curious of your past and present experiences.
     
  2. johan

    johan Active Member

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    How strong was your "strong" relationship?
     
  3. asshole

    asshole dont eat yellow snow! OT Supporter

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    Yes, but it almost always ended up as a fuckbuddy deal or something. I do have a friend who i dated and was intiate with who were still just friends and nothing more. She has 2 kids and is happily married. ALL is well... but its hard at first if you still care for that person or if they care for you. It all depends on how you ended it.
     
  4. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    In my opinion, ex-lovers can never be friends.
     
  5. the ground folds

    the ground folds rest your trigger on my finger

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    its possible, but not easy. And it defintely is something that takes time, it can't be jumped into.
     
  6. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    it's a bad idea
     
  7. Nightshade

    Nightshade New Member

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    best advice ever: MOVE ON!!

    plenty more seeds to plant rather than sitting on one patch and hoping for it to grow!! :mamoru:

    depends on the girl, I suppose ...

    did you wanna get more specific??

    :wavey:
     
  8. BoypussY

    BoypussY game over.

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    move on. it only makes things harder and reminds you of the good times you once had but can't have anymore.
     
  9. ItchyDog

    ItchyDog Guest

    Yeah, I had a GF, we broke up anda re best friends now.
     
  10. Porquechop

    Porquechop New Member

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    I think that most of the time, men and women don't make good friends outside of relationships.

    Like, a girl will like a guy, but he's gay, so they are best friends.

    Or someone has hopes of getting back together (or together for the first) time by showing how "understanding" or "sympathetic" they are so they are best friends.

    Men and women are such different animals, they don't think the same or act the same, and halelujah for that, but I don't think opposite sex makes for great buddies.

    Just my two cents, but move on. Do you ever watch "Blind Date"? When it doesn't work out and they want to be nice, they say, "I'd go out with so-and-so as a friend..." and I'll bet you $50 that those people never go out as friends.
     
  11. Joe_Cool

    Joe_Cool Never trust a woman or a government. Moderator

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    It has never been possible for me. And I don't even want to. There's no way in hell I'd be able to see my wife and be her pal, knowing she belongs to somebody else.
     
  12. malken00

    malken00 I'm here. Sorta.

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    Not possible for me either... too hard to see someone you love and want to be with, with someone else.
     
  13. Joe_Cool

    Joe_Cool Never trust a woman or a government. Moderator

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    :werd: I think staying friends almost always works like this:

    One person doesn't care that much about the other one.
    The other person wants to keep a foot in the door for getting back together.
    And when it doesn't work, you end up getting hurt even worse than if you had just broken it off cleanly.
     
  14. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    Naaah. Female friends are great fun. Especially the lesbian ones because they're not only hot... you can make comments about some other hot girl who walks by and she'll just say "hell yeah! I'd do her" You're missing out :wiggle:
     
  15. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    I hear ya. Who needs the pain and the reminders of what once was and what could have been and possibly should have been?
     
  16. the ground folds

    the ground folds rest your trigger on my finger

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    i think people do it because they want to hold onto someone who once meant so much to them. They would rather have that than nothing at all.
     
  17. WPInerd

    WPInerd New Member

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    it depends, i've had two great relationships, 1 im good friends with, and the other we don't talk anymore, i couldn't deal with her as a friend and it was the same to her, there are jsut some people that you just can't be friends with, cos the memories you have with them are so meaningful that just being friends will never cut it and you will always be hurt
     
  18. havox

    havox in southeast asia we'd call this kind of thing.. b

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    For what it's worth I tried the friends thing after my ex ended our relationship. I was fine with it for a few weeks, as I really just wanted to see her & be with her in any capacity. Then it would just take anything while we're out.. a smile, a laugh or just a look & I'd end up depressed the rest of the night/into the next day.
    Recently I told her that I couldn't keep hanging out with her while I still had feelings for her. After that I haven't heard from her & really don't expect to. I never wanted her out of my life, but I guess it's the only way. :hs:
     
  19. Its possible. I dated a guy on and off for a while, and now he and I are good friends. Im even very good friends with his new girl, who it turns out was a very good friend of mine back in elementary school. So it can work if 1. your mature about it and 2. theres no feelings left beyond a friendship level.
     
  20. AstroGirl

    AstroGirl If I don't respond it's because I have severe ADD

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    Her mosa? ITS MY MOSA!!!
    I dunno, it depends on the relationship. My ex from about 4-6 months ago and I have just started to rekindle our friendship, but it did take 4 months apart to let all of the hurt feelings go. I still have no clue how it is going to work. I am also still friends with my "high school sweetheart" I have known him for 6 years now, and we brok up 4 years ago. Although he is still in love with me, so bad example. But at first it is best to cut all ties, then in about 6 mo-1yr, depending on how long the original relationship was. You may attempt a friendship. IMO
     
  21. toeshoes

    toeshoes Guest

    Some yes, some no. Depends on the people involved.
     
  22. beanolo

    beanolo It does a body good!!!1

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    thats pretty much it.
     
  23. civicmon

    civicmon got all my game from the streets of california.

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    i still keep in contact with my ex-gf.. we're not great friends but friends nonetheless. It's not like i call her to chat or anything now.

    I was invited to her wedding :eek5: but i couldn't go because i just started a job a few weeks prior. I wanted to go because we were friends but I was piss broke and could not do it :wtc:

    My friends still talk to her back home but I haven't been back home in a year or so and i haven't talked to her in about as long.
     
  24. Amanda Renee

    Amanda Renee New Member

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    i thought so.. but after things have happen .. i think differently now but thats my opinion.
     
  25. RyeBread

    RyeBread If you tell the truth you don't have to remember a

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    :werd:

    it also depends on how it ended of course.

    it takes a pretty mature (rare) person to realize that while you may care for someone enough to want the best for them, and at the same time realize that perhaps it's time to get over the sting of rejection and feelings of betrayal to realize that one may not have worked out the best as a "couple" as opposed to friends.
     

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