Its not that I want to kill myself, it just seems like the best option. I don't have insurance, I'm losing my job, and I pay $915 per month in student loans, so lets just say "money is a problem." I don't want to be stuck in some mental institution where I'm the least crazy, and won't actually get help for the problems in my life, rather than me just telling people that I'm not thinking about suicide anymore and learn a lesson about telling people about a problem, rather than doing it. I don't want a bunch of drugs, I want to stop thinking that i should kill myself because its the best option I have considering factors of debt, employment options, women, and incessant self deprication. I almost had the balls to do it last night after washing my car. I have a great 1994 vintage Faiveley Macon Classe that I've been waiting to drink with someone for 5 years now. I was going to get sloshed off that and a 1996 vintage Robert Craig Affinity and do the CO thing in the garage. Remarkably though I considered that i was only 2 days out from the next episode of Dexter (yes my life is that simple), and thats probably the only thing I really enjoy in my life...watching a couple shows on showtime. Sorry to make this someone else's problem, I don't know what else to do.