Is it ok to enable a cheater?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by JohnJohnJohnson, Jan 27, 2008.

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Is it ok to let a girl with a monogamous boyfriend suck your dick?

  1. Yes it's ok / I would let her do it

    44 vote(s)
    41.9%
  2. No it's not ok / I would not let her do it

    61 vote(s)
    58.1%
  1. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I'm pretty torn about this question and I'd like to hear some ethical arguments one way or the other. Obviously I'd prefer if the angry troll posters stay out of this thread since they don't persuade anybody one way or the other but I can't stop you. :dunno:

    What are your thoughts on this? I'd like reasoned responses. Falconer too if you're around.

    I'll vote once I'm more convinced one way or the other.

    edit: if you can, rather than simply coming in and posting "I think this is wrong," or "I think this is right" or "anyone who thinks this way is conceited / insecure / a pussy," please elaborate on why you think the way you do.
     
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2008
  2. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    I've always been torn as well. On one hand, its not your responsibility to keep the other person faithful, and in a way, exposing them is in the end helpful to their partner.
    But its not always 'if it wasn't with me it would be with someone else,' sometimes its within a situation you help create, that would never happen otherwise (ie helping a recent ex cheat on his/her new partner)
    I enabled once, and yes, I felt horrible. They broke up soon afterwards, and i'm glad, because she deserved better than him, and yes, if it wasn't me, he would have cheated with someone else. This still doesn't change the fact that I helped him hurt her.
    I guess in the end I look at it the same way I do abortion (weird comparison , I know) I don't think its inherently wrong, but its not something I ever want to do (again)
     
  3. aprettysmile

    aprettysmile New Member

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    I pretty much think that if you KNOW she has a boyfriend, then it's wrong. If you don't know, there's not really anything you can do about it, and shit happens.

    I have a friend who tends to go after men who are taken. And she claims that they come to her and that she only wants the 'relationship' for the sex or whatever... but it just makes me wonder. By enabling the cheater, you are likely ruining any chance of them fixing their relationship.

    Then again, if they're cheating, they probably don't want that relationship. But then do you want to get involved with someone who has cheated before? I've never understood people who enable a cheater, then end up with them. :dunno:
     
  4. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    i am now more confused :wtc:
     
  5. aprettysmile

    aprettysmile New Member

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    the way you have your poll phrased... I don't think it's about "letting" her cheat or not. she's going to do what she wants to do.

    I think demosnat had it right though that sometimes a situation is created that causes the cheating with a specific person rather than the "if it wasn't with me, it was someone else"
     
  6. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    its not ok. but hell if you do its not all bad
     
  7. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    girls can also vote in the poll, just vote whether you think it's ok for a guy to let a girl in a monogamous relationship suck his dick.
     
  8. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    There really isn't an answer. :dunno:

    Is it wrong to tap a bar slut who cheats on her boyfriend weekly? I don't think so
    Is it wrong to deliberately seduce a girl who would never have cheated if not for your efforts? Yes.
    And there are a thousand situations between
     
  9. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    how would you have phrased it? i'm thinking of a scenario where a guy has the option, i.e., the girl wants to blow him, and he knows she's got an exclusive bf.
     
  10. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I'm not quite convinced there isn't an answer. Could you elaborate on what's wrong with the second scenario (seduction)?
     
  11. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    It depends on the situation as does everything. I think yes it's wrong and yes it's cheating. If I'm drunk then sadly I can't say that those morals would stop me if shes all about it. But if I'm sober and I know it's wrong then I'll stop it. There is no right answer.
     
  12. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Its all subjective of course, but cheating on a person represents harm.
    I think, to qualify and action as 'wrong' it needs to produce harm. So for YOU to do something wrong you need to do something that harms an individual.

    In scenario a, harm was inevitable, maybe you shouldn't have allowed yourself to be involved in creating the harm, but I think we can agree, if this chick is fucking around every weekend, she is the one producing harm, she is the one hurting her partner.

    IN scenario b, you have to WORK at doing that harm. You aren't a bystander involved in the harm, you created it for your own benefit. The harm would not have taken place but for your involvement.
     
  13. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Ok. That makes sense.
     
  14. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Really :eek3:

    I try to explain myself in outline format b/c I feel like no one ever understand what i'm trying to get across. Fucking sweet.
     
  15. DvBoard

    DvBoard New Member

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    I'd say it's not ok, but what i do i dunno for sure until i'm in that position.
     
  16. mrchina

    mrchina Guest

    My opinion? Yes it's wrong if you know the person is in a monogamous relationship. Why would you even support, or be a pawn in that girls shitty game of chess. If I was in this scenario, not only would I say no but I'd make it known this girl was a piece of trash that should be swept away. If the person wants to be promiscuous, why is that person in a monogamous relationship to begin with. That tells me not only should this girl never be trusted, but this person isn't even worthy of my time. Further, if you (the guy) actually go through with it, you're not a person worthy of my time either.

    Make the chick leave the relationship, then carry on.
     
  17. Yahdude

    Yahdude New Member

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    :bowdown:

    Honestly its more or less how I would feel about myself after the fact...I won't romeo someone else's lady, but if she chases me...game on.

    On that note...it would never ever have any chance of being anything more than a hookup...zero respect what so ever to any woman who cheats on her man...or even gets herself into a position to do so.
     
  18. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    Sitting here on my computer chair, I say no... It is wrong. She is in a relationship and I would hate to be her b/f while my g/f went around sucking another dudes dick... It's about mutual respect.

    However, if I was a party and met an attractive girl that was hell bent on blowing me, I am not entirely sure I would stop her just because she had a b/f.

    I would certainly call her a whore afterwards though. :)
     
  19. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Arguably because you did a calculation of the harm involved. So if it's scenario 1 (and I'm not saying scenario 1 is realistic, and I'm not saying scenario 1 will necessarily ever happen in your life, I'm just saying, IF it's scenario 1, hypothetically), where the girl is for sure fucking a different guy every week, then you know you will not be adding to the harm because if she doesn't fuck you it absolutely will be somebody else. The fact that it's you and not Guy #2 doesn't add to the harm any so it's not a foul play.
    This is only convincing if the guy cares about spending time with you. Otherwise it's an empty threat since you're not worthy of his time either.
     
  20. mrchina

    mrchina Guest

    There is no "harm" involved in my post. Those are my values and how I carry myself. I have a strong belief in what's right and wrong and I don't sway from it... in this case I still wouldn't care if the girls a bar slut or a "pure" girl straying for the first time.

    Would you be okay with your mom going around giving other guys head besides your dad? They are in a monogamous relationship.
     
  21. KindlyCuddly

    KindlyCuddly Irina Lazareanu

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    I'm not obligated to anyone beyond myself and those I care for...I'd never be in the position of hooking up with a friend's partner, but some random stranger...probably if the person was attractive enough. :hsughno: I think exclusivity is kinda silly personally unless you're doing a long-term thing.
     
  22. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    i was looking for rational arguments more than emotional appeals. my mother's a saint. don't talk about my mother you rat bastard.

    that said, telling me your stance, and then telling me you believe very firmly in your stance, still doesn't really help me understand it any better.

    i find when i'm explaining my point of view to somebody it is often more effective to take it apart logically for them, rather than simply using "strong" rhetoric to bash my point home.

    no harm no foul, is the reasoning that has been suggested in scenario 1 (the first scenario in demosnat's post). do you agree? disagree? why.
     
  23. FloppyCock

    FloppyCock New Member

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    If you're not the one in the relationship, you're not the one wrecking it. End of story.
     
  24. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    so even in scenario #2 (the second scenario in demosnat's post), where you work for it, you think that's ok?

    in the first scenario, you are a passive instrument of harm - harm that would be caused with or without your involvement, at that.

    but in the second scenario... you don't think you are, as demos put it, "working to cause harm," if you go out of your way to seduce a girl with a boyfriend?
     
  25. FloppyCock

    FloppyCock New Member

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    The girl is not a passive player in all of this, either.

    No matter what you say or do, she's the one in the relationship, and she is the one who can say no (saving the relationship) at any step of the way.
     

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