SRS Is it normal to "like" being depressed?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by korverftw, Sep 28, 2009.

  1. korverftw

    korverftw New Member

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    Maybe I'm twisted or something. I am a nice, normal guy who gets along with people, does well in school, has a nice family, etc. Deep down I know for a fact I have both anxiety and mild depression, neither of which really surface for other people to notice. I handle them pretty well). But I've noticed sometimes I look forward to bad things happening so I can feel bad again. I ask a girl out and somewhere deep down hope that she rejects me (I often get what I wish for in that regard) so I can be all sad and can feel bad for myself. Am I just so used to being depressed that I am starting to like it?
     
  2. CodeX

    CodeX Guest

    It's familiar to you, we are all comfortable with what we are familiar.
     
  3. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    You shouldn't make your heart a murderhole, its better to seek help of a psychiatrist. Its your whole approuch towards things with 'expectation' that is wrong. You should never go into a relationship with expectations or life in general with an idea of 'oh it should or shouldn't work out like this' , you know people put an 'ideal image' in their mind of how they expect how things are going to be like, like 'oh she's going to reject me, so whats the use? Its called 'doomsaying' and it definitly shows that a person is rotting in the core, and this indeed into the end leads to the depression you are currently facing.

    Why don't you take 'a whole new approuch towards life' , instead of having 'expectations' , don't have any expectations at all, just say to yourself 'im going to try to make the best of it, because that's all i can do ' i aknowledge that there are things in life that i am not in control of, which is why i should have a life of my own and focus on the things i can do, instead of focusing on the things i do not have under control. Reality is that a woman can pack her bags and leave anyday or when you ask her out rejects you, but its actually a win win situation, if you ask someone out and she says no, you can move on with your life, and if she says yes, you've got a date. So either way you are moving forward with your life.

    It is certainly true that bad things happen in life, but its better to see the glass half full, then half empty. Look at the things you do have in life ,rather then constantly looking at the things you don't have in life. Its hard but i've learned never to step across the line of negativity in my life as it leads to nowhere. Its better to have a constructive positive attitude that leads to somewhere. A seed needs good circumstances to grow, if you have an attitude of 'its never going to grow anyway, and not water it' then you lost the battle even before it started. Reality is that 'you never know how it works out unless you try', this is why you need to see the glass half full rather then half empty, because with whatever you try to do in life , a positive attitude is needed to accomplish it. Basically you need to be like a salmon that goes against the currents of negativity in life to reach your goal up the mountain. My advice, stay positive.
     
  4. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    I think you're just more introverted rather than extroverted, personally.

    Not that its a particular good or bad thing, its just who you are. But totally agree w/ DE here on the fact that maybe a new 'approach' on life would be a good step for you, to step 'out' of this realm where its 'ok' to be upset and depressed.
     
  5. Daria

    Daria New Member

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    I had severe depression growing up and I actually enjoyed being in a depressed state. There was some sort of relaxation and satisfaction being in this state. I enjoyed being in the dark as well and felt very comfortable on rainy/cloudy days. Bright, sunny days seemed to irritate me.

    However, I did not look for events that would make me unhappy, I was just unhappy all the time, no matter if good or bad things were happening.

    After I was medicated for depression, all of this went away actually very quickly. I felt calm and relaxed in my mood, but it wasn't a depressed state. Sunny days actually made me feel happy. I didn't take comfort in any particular mood. I just was generally content.

    So, in short, I believe I have experienced something similar to what you describe and for me, this experience went away after I was medicated.
     
  6. 9c1 driver

    9c1 driver New Member

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    Not having any problems myself but having to care for my wife who is bi polar ect and my teenage son who has general depression as well as many other friends and relatives I have heard many say the same thing about there being something enjoyable and comforting about a depressive state, even as far as stopping medication to have that feeling again, I think with proper meds and therapy you can overcome this. I did ask a question of my wifes psyciatrist recently, I asked him for most metal health issues if you only had 1 treatment available what would you chose?
    1 only medication
    2 only therapy
    3 only vigorous exercise
    what would you chose? he said vigorous exercise he is a excellent doctor and has been practicing for 30 years, I even posed this question to the family doctor who has been practicing for 40 years with the same awnser!
     
  7. BoomBoomBoy

    BoomBoomBoy Guest

    Everyone feels a certain level of depression at different times. Looking forward to feelinng bad doesn't fall into that category. I think your should consider therapy. There are test they can perform that can you help evaluate your situation.

    If you don't have the funds for private care, there are options available. Contact your local Social Services dept. and they can direct you to local resources.
     
  8. Nite_Lilly

    Nite_Lilly Member

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    So what do you get out of being depressed? Does it give you an excuse to get away from something? Are you more creative or something when you feel bad? Or...is it an excuse for not doing something? Do you get more attention from someone at those times? I'm not judging; just asking.:hsugh:
     
  9. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Perhaps punishing yourself allows you to feel something (even if it hurts). Psychological "cutting" could be an analogy.

    Achieving happiness or pleasant things could seem unacceptable and undeserved -- which is the opposing experience when you aren't feeling negative effects from your life.
     
  10. Daria

    Daria New Member

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    No amount of exercise is going to fix anything that's been damaged in my brain. If I get endorphins from exercise and my problem isn't that I need more endorphins, then vigorous exercise is not the answer for me. One solution is not a fix-all for everyone's problems.
     
  11. Daria

    Daria New Member

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    I'm not going to answer, for the TS, but in my case, these questions would be the same as asking me, "Why does it feel good to eat chocolate"? Even if I have not told my brain how to react to this food, this is how my brain will react to that stimuli. It was the same with my depressed mood. Being in the depressed state, for some reason unknown to me, brought me a sense of relaxation and comfort.

    However, I can see where you're getting at with these questions. If he can figure out WHY he enjoys this mood, perhaps solving that "why" would leave him with no need to be in the depressed mood in the first place.
     
  12. REEPER

    REEPER New Member

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    I think people who have been depressed for a while begin to lose their capacity to respond to emotional stimuli with regards to the external world (hobbies, relationships etc)
    When viewing the world with less of a bias(fewer emotions) one tends to analyze it more and eventually believes that they have come closer to understanding reality objectively, seeing it for what it is, unlike their "feeling" peers. I believe many depressed people draw a certain amount of mental strength from this feeling of closeness to reality and that they perceive themselves to be less delusional than those around them.
     

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