SRS Is it everyone or is it me?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Want2race, Apr 3, 2006.

  1. Want2race

    Want2race Fearless

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    Bit of background.

    About a year ago, I had a group of about 10 friends.. I walked away from all of them one day after a he said/she said bullshit episode about me and a gf of the time. I ask very little of my friends but I expect loyalty and i expect silence about my personal life to other people. I personally stick to those rules so I think its possible to do so.

    Slow process but 6 mnths ago I came up with a new group of friends. I thought they were better being older and hopefully more mature. As each person proved less trust worthy I would ignore them. Basically happened to 2/8 people. Friday night we went out and I saw no loyalty- as in girls I said i was interested in; and I saw no ability to keep their mouthes shut. I should have left them at the party but I wouldnt leave 1 friend in perticular behind, she was too drunk. I took her home.

    So the next day I start getting phone calls of "I heard you took this girl home..." and basically before I knew it, my personal life was public knowledge.

    I made the decision to discuss it and everyone see's it as non issue. I ended the conversation of walking away from them and as far as I am concerned I'm done!

    This leaves me thinking I will die uphappy and never keep my friends. I really dont expect much from people but honestly I get even less in return. When I think thats about as shitty as a friend can be, I get a reminder!

    So is that too much to expect ? Anyone have any insite? Im pretty lost right now!


    :wtc:
     
  2. michaele36

    michaele36 New Member

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    alot of friends are shitty bro. Its hard to find good ones thats why i have so few. Personally I don't like people that much. You have to look at it this way. dont tell secrets to people you dont trust even if u consider them friends
     
  3. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    If you drop your friends after one mistake the problem is you. I understand completely setting boundaries and not letting anyone go past them, but everyone deserves a warning or two. If they clearly know your boundaries and test them just to be dicks... well...
     
  4. johan

    johan Active Member

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    seems to me that you're the one doing the walking away. Friends have disagreements. Let me rephrase that. PEOPLE have disagreements. FRIENDS find a way to apologise and make amends.

    If you want to see their actions as having committed unforgivable sins against you, and your only response is to cut them off completely....well, you reap what you sow. I'll just leave it at that.
     
  5. Devilish

    Devilish Remind me AGAIN

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    Lay some boundaries with your friends, so they know what you expect from them and maybe what they expect from you.

    There's always going to be ups and downs within friendships. All it takes is a bit of communication and compromise to work things out.
     
  6. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    Something I've slowly learned is that I can't expect everyone else to hold themselves to the same standards that I hold myself to.
     
  7. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

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    people who generally hang out in groups are people who will do whatever they are pressured into doing just to fit in, believe me, i know from lots of experience. Even if that means telling secrets, lying, whatever it is. People who are more authentic, imo, are the loners. Not the cereal killer, anti social type, but the people who have their heads on straight and can see right through fake, aka generic, people and can make their own decisions and not be told what to do or think. example, if they see that they aren't being respected, they will stand up and leave without regret.

    So don't worry if you can't find a group of friends. All you really need is a few people who are smart and considerate, and hell, if you can drink with em and still hold a good conversation then that's a sign that your both the same wavelength.
     
  8. Loopy

    Loopy What do you think happens when you get too far fro

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    The problem is not you.



    Truth.
     
  9. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    I have some friends i would trust in such situations, and others that i do not. I know now not to mix certain situations with certain friends. Some friends I have are fun to party with, so I call them like once a month to party, then leave it at that. They aren't my friends that I confide in, or go on a double date with.
     
  10. lazarus

    lazarus New Member

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    Try making friends with some girls instead. You'll probably find them to be more trustworthy and easier to talk to.
     
  11. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    You are on a different 'frequency' then your friends are, you are far more serious then them , is it because you are a militairy? Saying that is not an attack,don't get me wrong, but maby your friends are more relaxed because they are in a less tense position then you?,which is the reason why they are more opened up, and less loyal because all they care about is partying and getting laid? From that perspective i meant to say that your group of friends are on a different 'way of thinking' then you are. I assume this because apparently there's a great difference in the way how your friends act and behave compared to you. It doesn't mean your behaviour is at fault, but it does explain why you don't mix, and can't keep your friends. Would you agree with me on that?

    The only thing in the universe that can make you happy is love, so if you love and help others you will find happyness yourself, its also a way to meet new people. Have you ever thought about volenteer work? At first that sounds like nothing for you, but as a suggestion i hope you give it a try. You have no idea how many people could use your help. And as such you could make a difference for somebody or someone's life for the good.

    I also you should seem them as people, human and faulty. You know if you don't have a certain 'tolerance' for someone elses faults or unability to forgive, then you can indeed accept no one in your life, for everyone is at fault at some point in their lives, its what makes us 'human' and not robots.

    Gossip can ruin lives, so be sure you don't throw in the open what you do not like to have on display, better yet don't have any secrets at all, that way there's nothing to hide, and you can relax and enjoy life even more too. Parties always have a certain amount of 'chaos' factor in it. Im not sure what else more to say.
     
  12. Foo Lyn Roo

    Foo Lyn Roo New Member

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    I can So sympathize with you, but the cruel hard fact is that you expect too much from people.
    I go through the same thing - alot. best to not write them off, just you know kewl off a bit.
     
  13. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    None of this sounds very serious. It sounds like you have strange expectations of friends. I'm a good friend, and if a friend disappeared with a girl who was drunk, and I was drunk, I would probably talk shit. First to people at the party, and then to them the next day. Why? Because I'm a dick, and it would be funny. I would be silly about it. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't take a bat to someone's head for the same guy if it came down to it, help him move a body, etc. Friends tease. Deal with it. It sounds like you have problems sorting out what is important and expected in a friendship and what is not.

    Just my two cents, there could be more details I'm not getting but... if you don't want anyone to know any details of your personal life... keep em to yourself.
     
  14. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    Would you care to expand on your statement, please?
     
  15. Big-God

    Big-God Money often costs to much.

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    Yes, it is. Public knowledge (i.e., telling something to anyone, friends or not ) is public knowledge. If it's out there you can't control it. But why worry about it? I felt, and still partially do feel the way you do. If there's something I'm concerned about the world knowing, I just don't tell anyone. However, as time goes by there's less and less that I worry about the world knowing about me. People either are going to like me for who I am or not like me at all. :dunno:
     

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