Is it better being the cheater than the cheatee?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by -=Likwid=-, May 23, 2008.

  1. -=Likwid=-

    -=Likwid=-

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    Think about it. Outside of the boundaries of marriage, if you cheat on someone, the only thing you have to think about is the guilt, and/or apology, and/or if it'll be accepted. If you're cheated on, you can continue having trust issues, and/or being/feeling like the 'victim' for who knows how long-could be months, could be years.

    With cheating being so common lately, is it worth the heartache to have morals and integrity anymore? It's fucking frustrating.
     
  2. BadKat

    BadKat GIVE ME WINE!!

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    I'm much more in the belief that trust is more important than monogamy.

    You can have trust within a relationship without neccesarily being monogamous. Meaning, say you have a partner who travels a lot. I mean a LOT. They're gone sometimes months at at time. You both agree to trust the other person to make their own judgements and that you will be completely honest with each other. So if by some chance, you or your partner have a sexual encounter with someone outside of your relationship, it's not neccesarily a deal breaker because you agree to have trust over monogamy.

    For others, they go hand in hand. You can't trust a person if they can't/won't/aren't willing to be monogamous with you and/or vice versa.

    My current relationship is being built on trust. I'd much rather be out with my new SO, see him checking out a girl, and have him point her out to me (I am attracted to women, but couldn't possibly have sex with them, I hate tasting myself, let alone another chick) and know that he's attracted to her, than to have him try and hide it from me. If I go out of town and he and a coworker that he flirts with end up in bed together, I'd rather he tell me about it, rather than hide it from me. I can trust him to be honest with me. Does his falling into bed with this other person mean the end of our relationship? Not unless he wants it to be. Not unless he plans on seeing this person. Not unless the sex was unprotected (another no-no for my partners). If it was just a once (or twice) thing, then fine.

    And yeah, I'd rather be the cheater than the one cheated on. But that's not always how it works.
     
  3. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    Honestly I don't think it's all that common. None of my friends have ever cheated on their girlfriends and to my knowledge they've never been cheated on. This includes myself..

    Personally I'd rather get cheated on than cheat on someone. This would be a perfect indicator that the person isn't worth having a relationship anymore and I'm in tact enough with my emotions to where I don't think I'd develop any major trust issues.
     
  4. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    being in a trusting relationship is so much EASIER than being constantly on your guard, worrying that the other one is cheating on you. i don't even think i could stand being in a relationship like that. so, i go into any relationship with the attitude that i will never cheat, and if they cheat on me it's goodbye, no questions asked. there are still plenty of honest people left in the world.
     
  5. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    this question is silly.

    being the cheater is easier. if you actually made the decision to do it, then its far less painful because you knew what you were getting into. and why do we even assume there's an apology, or guilt? don't do something that will make you suffer. I guess this is just my sickly detatched view of things, but whatever.

    i can't stand the whole 'omg i didnt really mean to it just happened' bullshit attitude to cheating. go get yourself fixed, theres a problem somewhere if you're saying shit like that.
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    There's no question, being the cheater is far easier than being cheated on.

    Most cheaters don't even feel remorse but justify their actions.

    I stand by a strong moral code that I could never cheat on an SO/husband. I'd sooner break things off than ruin someone's self-esteem for who knows how long.
     
    Last edited: May 23, 2008
  7. BadKat

    BadKat GIVE ME WINE!!

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    I agree. You go into it fully knowing that there will be consequences, regardless of whether you get caught or not. For some people, it's easier to cheat than it is to just go ahead and break up with a person. It can also be the excuse to get the other person to do the dumping.
     
  8. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    :werd:
     
  9. GammaRadiation

    GammaRadiation Active Member

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    If only all girls thought this way.

    Even though I wasnt actually cheated on (they didnt have sex). Before she broke it off with me she was treating him like her new BF, doing the same sorts of activities and as far as I know, 2nd base, taking all the little girly pictures togather, etc... I really dont want to know any more. To top if off after she broke it off with me over the phone while I was home for christmas. She came to see me and acted like she was truly sorry and that we would get back togather. She sleeps with me agian and tells me she will make her final decision when I get back to tampa. Two days later she informs me she doesnt want a relationship at all from me anymore. Continues to try and play mind games after I did get back to tampa. Now she wonders why I hate her guts and simply do not want to have any sort of contact from her ever agian.

    After that experience I find myself with a different outlook on women and I cant help but treat my new GF differently than any girl before.

    Being cheated on sucks...espeically if you actually love someone.
     
  10. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    i assume being the cheater would be easier

    although, ive never known that i have been cheated on (although looking back, i am almost 95% sure i was cheated on in 2 relationships and i dont feel any pain or trust issues over it, so maybe being the cheatee is easy....)
     
  11. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :werd:
     
  12. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    I have never cheated, but if you can deal with guilt and take it to your grave, then being the cheater would be easier.

    I have have two girls cheat on me (never "seriously" date college freshmen), it was pretty damn easy to tell them to get the fuck out and for me to move on in life.
     
  13. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Hehe those are Savage Garden lyrics.

    JJJ's AE?
     
  14. BadKat

    BadKat GIVE ME WINE!!

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    Not a chance. Formerly known as BadKat :o

    And yeah, I think they are SG lyrics, but I still believe the phrase to be true.
     
  15. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    I would much rather know I fucked up and chose to be with a person like that, than be that type of person?
     
  16. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    :uh: yeah cause guys never cheat right? :hsugh:
     
  17. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    :eek3: i remember the name but not much about you :run:
     
  18. BadKat

    BadKat GIVE ME WINE!!

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    :werd: It goes both ways.

    Well....think 2002. That was my original join date.
     
  19. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    my experience was similar. I don't know of any details, but still I think this will haunt me forever. If you cheat on someone, the worst thing that could happen is that you screwed up a good relationship, which you probably wouldn't think twice about after a couple of months
     

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