Is it a bad idea to tell your SO that cheating is a dumpable offense?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Falconer, Apr 11, 2008.

  1. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Assume you don't want to be with someone who cheats.

    If you tell your SO "if you cheat on me I will dump you," and then they cheat on you, they might actually regret it and consider it a "mistake" and still want to be with you, and because they don't want to be dumped, the may choose not to tell you that they cheated.

    If you don't tell your SO "if you cheat on me I will dump you," and then they cheat on you, they might tell you to try and make themselves feel better/keep honesty open/etc. However, in this case, you have been presented with objective truth (your SO cheated on you) and can dump them accordingly.


    Remember that the goal is to base all your actions off of objective truth to arrive at the correct outcome.

    [​IMG]
     
  2. Elphaba

    Elphaba New Member

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    Wow. You actually made a flow chart about this.
     
  3. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I figure looking at a picture might be easier than reading :rofl:
     
  4. squid

    squid braap

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    Props on the Visio chart.

    Is this something that really needs to be stated these days? :ugh: I would like to think that's something that should be a given...
     
  5. Elphaba

    Elphaba New Member

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    I'd really have to say that its something thats assumed these days. I'd say the vast majority of people will dump someone (eventually, even if they delude themselves by thinking they can work it out) if they're cheated on.
    That and if you actually come out and tell your SO this, I think you'll look a bit paranoid and untrusting.
     
  6. Exiled

    Exiled New Member

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    Goes without saying, if you cheat on me you dont exist.
     
  7. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    Falconer I've thought of this subject many times.

    I agree with the fact that if you tell your SO that cheating is a dumpable offense, she will be less likely to tell you if it does happen.

    I told that to my current gf now in the beginning and I wish I didn't. I will never make it such a huge point to tell that to another one of my SO's again.
     
  8. Ladybug

    Ladybug Guest

    From the get go my SO and i have very seriously said to one another, If you cheat I will leave. It's nice to know we have the same take on the issue :dunno:
     
  9. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Shouldn't have to be mentioned at all, in my opinion, but that's one of those things I bring up on the first date, it's a huge compatibility issue. Any woman who DOESN'T see cheating as an immediate deal breaker is not someone I see myself dating.
     
  10. tqpolo

    tqpolo ***** Platinum Member OT Supporter

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    I don't think you need to tell anybody as it's pretty obvious. If they don't know it's a dumpable offense then you don't need to be with them anyways.
     
  11. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    :werd: Falconer you seem to make this stuff so hard man. Just tell her what you feel. You can't find someone you will be attracted too if you never make a mistake or just go and do it. You always seem to nit pick the details to death.
     
  12. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    My bf has known this since waaay in the beginning.

    He also knows that if it happened and he didn't tell me I'd find out eventually and kill his ass.
     
  13. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    MSPaint :bowdown:
     
  14. Exiled

    Exiled New Member

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    You would never know, trust me.
     
  15. Elphaba

    Elphaba New Member

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    I'm really surprised at the number of people who have or say they would actually tell their SO straight up about this. A question for those that have: How did those conversations go, what did you say and how/who brought it up?

    I really would feel like I was being paranoid and seemed untrustworthy for saying something so obvious...
     
  16. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Agreed.

    Also, any woman who has cheated in the past is someone I don't see myself dating.

    Once a cheater always a cheater.

    People's fundamental personality traits don't change.

    Etc.
     
  17. Elphaba

    Elphaba New Member

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    I like the part in bold... just as a bit of recognition that we all know what you'd say... and that you know you've said it 1000 times :mamoru:
     
  18. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Yeah everyone is already familiar with my brilliance so I didn't feel the need to repeat it in that post :bigthumb:
     
  19. AutoEuphoria

    AutoEuphoria New Member

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    I told my gf when we first started dating (over 5 years ago) that if she ever cheated on me, I would break up with her...no matter how long we had gone out for. I also told her that if I ever cheated on her, I would expect her to break up with me, too. Once you cross that boundary, you will never get the trust back into the relationship, and a relationship with no trust is not worth the effort it would take to make work.
     
  20. Ladybug

    Ladybug Guest

    I think I called someone on the television a disgusting cheating bastard and the conversation started. It was just the straighforward you cheat on me i leave/ throw you over the balcony type dialogue, and we both came out of it reassured the other wouldn't stray.
     
  21. Dio Seijuro

    Dio Seijuro New Member

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    I personally think it's a little offensive to tell your SO if she does this and that it will get her dumped. No respect at all!
     
  22. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    You are crazy as all get out
     
  23. AutoEuphoria

    AutoEuphoria New Member

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    If she respected you, she would break up with you before sleeping with someone else. If she respected the relationship, she would never cheat in the first place. Setting the boundaries early in the relationship clears up any confusion. As I said before, my gf knows that if she did anything with another guy, she's gone. In the same way, I know that if I did anything with another girl, I'd be gone. Knowing the boundaries early makes things nice and clear.
     
  24. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    I think most people know its a dumpable offense, and I would be PISSED, if some guy was lilke "oh, btw, if you whore around i'm leaving your skanky ass"

    If "dumpable offenses" do come in conversation, yeah, I say that cheating, lying, or coming at me physically in ANY way, means I drop off the face of the earth.

    Do you think saying it really means its less likely they will do it/lie about it? I'm not sure :(
     
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2008
  25. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

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    I think you should bring this up in the beginning of the relationship since not everyone had the same views on the subject (IE: what exactly constitutes cheating)
     

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