SRS is growing apart from friends just one of life's realities?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by cedric, Apr 25, 2005.

  1. cedric

    cedric I don't have a contract

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    I guess I'll start with some background information...

    There's this group of guys I grew up with. We all attended at the same school from kindergarten until graduation as seniors in high school. A few of these guys I've been close with since we were 6 or 7 years old. They've always been like brothers to me, and even our families have become close to the point where our parents will hang out even when we're not around. We've played sports together, given speeches at each other's graduation parties and basically formed this really tight group that I've always thought was inseperable.

    When we split up to attend different colleges, we still communicated. We'd talk on the phone and email each other, even take our spring breaks together when we could. During xmas and summer breaks it'd be like nothing changed. However, the distance and the time apart took its toll on us and we spoke less and less. Now it seems like we'll hear from each other every 3-6 months.

    I guess it's just part of growing up. Since we were all together through out school we sort of became very similar. When we moved away to college we grew up and started becoming adults with different interests and futures. The pressure to conform that was ever-present in high school disappeared and we turned into different people than who we used to know. What really set this off in my head was a couple months ago when the guy who I consider my best friend called me up and we spoke for about 10 minutes catching up on the past 3-4 months. All of the sudden we ran out of things to talk about and it was just odd, because you'd think we'd have more to say to each other.

    When we're at home together it's just like we never even left and no time passed at all. We talk about what we've been missing in each other's lives and generally have a good time, yet I can tell that a lot has changed, just that the basis relationships themselves really haven't.

    I don't think that this is necessarily a bad thing. I mean I don't get sad when I think about it. I think about it as a reality of life. We grow up and become different people as adults. I know that I'm a great deal different than I was in high school and I accept that they are too. I feel like we're too connected to just not be part of each other's lives, and I doubt that will ever change. It just seems like the nature of our friendships are changing. Before, it was common interests that were keeping us together, now it seems more like it's our history is what's keeping us joined.

    I was just wondering if anything similar has happened to anyone else? :hs:
     
  2. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Yes, it is. People change as they grow up. Well presumably anyway.
    Are YOU the same person you were in Grade 8? I certainly hope not.

    If you just lost touch due to other, non-personal circumstances (moved due to a new job, etc) then it's worth a try at reconnecting. Othewise, move on.
     
  3. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Out of eye out of heart. You are affected by the people in your vacinity, and because everyone has priorities that have a relation by what lies close around that, its only natural (including that guys go search for relationships with partners) that connectivity can get quite a hammering. Also People can turn out to become bitter due to what live throws at them. Only a loving interaction with them, and helping eachother out can re-establish connectivity again.:wavey:
     
  4. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    Yeah it sucks. I don't really keep in contact with anyone anymore even though they were the best friends I ever had. Talking about the past just gets kind of pointless and since we don't really know what's been going on in each others lives, it's weird to talk about that too.
     
  5. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    hrm... i understand what you're saying. i met my good girl friends a ~year before i moved 1500 miles away from them. i've known them for ~5+ years now. we don't get to see each other often, but i do enjoy the time we do get to spend together.

    :rofl: my friend and i were joking around this past weekend that a lunch date is definitely not enough to catch up on 2-3 months of events... but it's what we gotta do.

    i try to send out emails every once in a while, but we all get busy...that's just a fact of life. even though i don't get to see them very often, i still consider them my good friends. :)

    the key here is... you only grow apart if you don't work to keep the relationship growing. growing up is part of life, but that doesn't mean you have to grow apart. :rofl: shit, a lot of my friends are getting married and graduating from college, and i'm single and still in school. we're on two different paths, but i wouldn't change anything about our relationship. (not counting the fact i wish i could live closer.)
     
  6. CBBaller

    CBBaller keira is below.

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    "A thug changes, love changes, and best friends become strangers" -Nas

    I think it's part of life. You will lose friends, and you will make new ones.
     

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