is fucking on the first date condemning yourself to a one night stand?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by sexhaver420, May 6, 2007.

  1. sexhaver420

    sexhaver420 Buying stuff I don't need, with money I don't have OT Supporter

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    I know this is long... but bare with me here vaginarium.

    So there's this girl I met at a party, we didn't talk a whole lot or get to kissing. We Exchanged SNs and phone numbers.

    After IMing her and just chit chatting a little bit I texted her wednesday night to see whats up. She said she just got off work and had nothing to do for the night. So we went out for hookah, I paid. Started touching her subtley, on the theigh briefly, on her back briefly. We were certainly flirting, then we exchanged back massages. After that we went to go eat in my car, during dinner one red flag rose up:
    Her: Can I move in with you? (Sort of joking in a way)
    Me: Depends if you can walk the walk. (Part of an inside-joke/flirt was basically mentioning how she siad she was really good with her hands and good at faking orgasims)
    Her: Depends if youre gonna stick around (WTF!!??!?! Insecure much?)
    Me: Ummmm......:ugh: :rolleyes: (Not that I wasn't going to stick around, I just think that was a little bit rude and blunt. Sort of like if I asked "Are you going to put out tonight?")

    After successfully flirting during dinner, (except for that one statement she made) we headed for the 24/7 Walmart 20 minutes away to pick up a movie to watch for the night. I sang sweet songs to her in the car, more flirting everything going good. Went to my house, watched the movie, cuddled, made out, dry humped, tried to fuck, she didnt give me access. We then went to my bedroom, tried to fuck again, we were successful, before I even finished I stopped to cuddle her and sweet talk her. I certainly got flaccid during this time and she probably dried up. I tried to work my way there again and she put up a fight again saying weird things. "I broke my promise tonight" blah blah blah. Persevered, and then we moved on to fuck again. I finished, then we brushed our teeth and went to sleep in my bed. All during this time I'm trying to figure out if I want to persue her, or even if I want to have a one night stand with her, it ended up how it did.

    The next day (thursday), we woke up and showered together. I drove her to work that thursday morning (since she left her car at the hookah place) then I picked her up. So began another night together, went out for dinner. She then stopped by starbucks to pick up coffee for herself and a bag of ground coffee for my parents. This was a good sign as far as a relationship goes, trying to get on good terms with my parents. We watched another movie at my house, this time we successfully finished the movie. I tried to fuck her again then she just didnt want to for some odd reason. Maybe she was testing me or something, but whatever... I'm persistant, I kept trying (I always do and always will), but she just kept saying no. I thought about trying again, but I already tried to fuck her like 4 times at that point. So we didnt fuck that night, just talking and cuddling...

    She kept asking (and she was the previous night) if we had titles or if we were going out or some shit like that. I wasn't ready to be that easy at that point. She brought up that she was "broken merchandise" and she is still recovering from her last relationship (ended 5-6 montsh ago) I asked her if she was raped before (something just gave me a hunch that she was) and after asking about it three times she was staying quiet and finally said she was, I talked to her about it. These things are kinda giving me second thoughts about her.

    After an hour of sleep I drove her to her car at 3:30AM (friday). I went to class, came home, slept, then she called. I told her I missed her (big mistake on my part I'm thinking) She's like "It hasnt even been a day yet." I'm like... "ummm well uhhh, I went to sleep twice since I saw you so it seems like 2 days, besides after spending two days with you, 18 hours seems like a long time to be gone" I asked her what she was doing that friday night, she said sleeping, I asked her about saturday night and she said she was having her usual poker night with her friends implying she was doing something with her girls. Our phone conversation lasted almost 45 minutes.

    After we hung up I'm starting to think I really messed up at this point all my sweet talking and comforting her (not during the phone conversation though) when she talks about how shes affraid of one night stands. ex: "What if youre too good to be true?" "Well, then I'm your dream come true." "Depends if youre gonna stick around." I was just trying to be really comforting with her. Because I was pretty sure I wouldnt mind having a relationship with her. Now I really thinking I fucked up and it all it was, was just a one night stand.

    I texted her again saturday night after watching the big fight before I decided to get hammered (Incase I had to do any driving)
    "wassup with you hun?"
    "just got home gonna crash. gnite"
    "alright sweet dreams. whatre you up to tomorrow"
    ... no response
    Compared to how she was before, she didn't seem the same, before she was like "let me stay at your house" "we'll hang out before and after i go to work" etc...

    Now I'm really hesitant to call her again, especially if shes gonna be non-responsive or act like shes to busy for me...

    I was willing to make it a one night stand, she seemed like she didnt really want it, I got to know her a bit better, tried to go for the relationship but maybe I made it too easy for her.



    IF you fuck on the first date is it automatically a one night stand?

    Last girl I fucked I wanted to have a relationship with so I didn't fuck on the first date, fucked on the second date and never really talked since "Im busy" "maybe" says okay then bailed. Maybe its just the type of girls I attract or maybe its how I flirt, I dont know.




    Cliffs: Met with girl seemed very insecure, fucked, hung out again the next night, no sex, tried to make her feel secure. now we havent done anything. If you fuck on the first date, is that like automatically a one night stand?
     
    Last edited: May 6, 2007
  2. otherlank

    otherlank OT Supporter

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    I think it's impossible to build an emotional relationship that starts out as a physical one so soon.
     
  3. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    I don't see this going anywhere. I think she regrets what happened, and was trying to push you away.

    And then you hang out with her the next night, and try to sex her again.

    And you're pushing to find out about really personal stuff very early on (the rape stuff).

    Don't call her again, I doubt she wants to see you.

    Edit: Reread your post, and bolded important parts.

    To be blunt: You pushed way too much for sex, and she wasn't comfortable about it. She brought up raped, and you tried to talk to her about it...do you not see that you also pressured her into sex?

    You've shown her that you just want sex with her.

    Oh, and I like your bits about deciding if you want a relationship with her. You hung out with her two days in a row, and you're thinking about trying to pursue a relationship with her? What's the rush? These things take time.

    To sum up: Don't talk about being scared off by her. YOU SCARED HER OFF.
     
    Last edited: May 6, 2007
  4. I'm not one to judge, but I really feel bad for her, seeing as how being an emotional mess is rough on any party involved.
     
  5. Chip Chipperson

    Chip Chipperson New Member

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    i only read the title. the answer is no. maybe with this particular situation, the answer is yes. but in general, no
     
  6. SpectraRedZ

    SpectraRedZ New Member

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    The fiance's relationship w/ the previous gf started because he went over one night after going to a strip club and they fucked. The next day she called saying they should go out. According to him, the relationship sucked and he was in it solely because he was lonely. For awhile it was the same for her - she was lonely and they were company for each other, and could have sex. It was on and off for 5 months (she'd leave for another guy, then come back to him). She got more attached, and he met me and left her. So I dont think fucking on the first date is good for a relationship - surely didnt help that one it seems.
     
  7. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    Came in to post this exact same thing.


    :rofl:
     

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