SRS Is all I am to her a dumb pot-smoker?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Panoptimist, May 21, 2006.

  1. Panoptimist

    Panoptimist Put a bangin' donk on it.

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    [FONT=Verdana, Lucida, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I don't know where to start so bear with me.[/FONT]
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    I'm crushing on a girl who is one of those girls who is a straight A student and a track star. She hangs out with people you would stereotypically associate her with. Some of the jocks, intellects, whatever. But not the stoners (me) or anyone like that. I've sensed "feelings" between us or whatever, and we'eve had a few subtle things to say, but nothing to really break the ice. And therein lies my dilemma.
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    I dont want this girl to think of me as a retarded stoner druggie, and in worrying about what she thinks, I think I've learned a bit about myself. I feel that maybe getting involved with a girl of her calibur/mentality may help "balance" myself out. I'm more lazy/unmotivated/pot-smoker. I'm trying to expand a bit more now, and maybe it's for the better. I mean, this girl is beautiful. Not hot. She's a woman. Her aura just crushes you. I want to "clean up my act" in a sense and maybe be able to identify with her or show her that I'm maybe worth a shit.
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    [FONT=Verdana, Lucida, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]After giving that gibberish background, I want to present you with this situation. Tonight her and a best friend came up to me and said "We have something excting and important to tell you! But you can't judge us.Guess what we did that you never would expect us to do! We got high!" These girls (especially the one im digging) I never would have expected it.

    I thought that she always looked down on it. (But she was also with some faggots who she did it with.) Afterwords she said "you were the first person we wanted to tell. we knew you would want to hear it." or some bullshit like that. My response was "That's horrible."
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    [FONT=Verdana, Lucida, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I've left the party and that's basically all I said to her all night. It kind of bothers me that that's what she would say. I want to talk to her at school and

    explain to her that it did bother me and why, but I don't know if it would be an inappropriate thing to do, and then just wierd her out and alienate her from me. She's ALWAYS surrounded by her friends, so it's almost impossible for me to get her alone and talk to her. Would I wierd her out with presenting her with this more vulnerable, sentimental side of myself? How should I break the ice?
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    cliffs: its not worth the read if you arent interested because its bullshit.
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    Last edited by a moderator: May 21, 2006
  2. Pospodo

    Pospodo came for the pron but stayed for teh lulz

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    do not explain to her why you didn't like her saying that... That's getting waaay too deep into something that doesn't even exist yet.

    Work at getting her to hang out alone with her.. coffee, a movie during the day... whatever. If you look like a lazy pothead, then she may not dig that and may not ever hang out with you by herself.

    I'm thinking that she is at least a little concerned of what you think abotu her since she told you about smoking.
     
  3. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    You are the one who determines wether you are a retarded pot smoker or not.Thats not up for her to decide. Basically by bringing the power of your life back into your own hands, you can determine the outcome and position of your life,instead of letting others condemn you to some stigmata. So its really up to you to decide wether you want to continue to drag along this smoking pot thing. Not that i want to change your life, you migh be perfectly happy smoking that stuff, but that doesn't adress really your problem with that girl now does it.

    The situation is basically win win for you, if you ask her out she might say yes, as you already have no you might as wel try, because you always miss if you never shoot right? If she says no, you can say to yourself' at least i tried' and move on with your life, if she says 'yes' you got a date.

    What you have is called 'fear of rejection' , you feel that your standards must meet up to a certain level for her to pertain a relationship with you right? Why not let her decide for herself who she wants to be with, only thing you have to do is to ask her out.
     
  4. Panoptimist

    Panoptimist Put a bangin' donk on it.

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    Thanks for the advice, and you're both right. I don't want to get too deep into something too soon, but I also feel that if I'm not on par with her "standards" then I don't even have a chance.

    And asking her out is the hardest thing. I've been wanting to ask her out ever weekend for the past couple of months, though I've been very weary about it. She's never alone, so it's almost impossible to talk to her on a personal level...I'd feel wierd and out of place if I just walked up to her infront of her friends and asked her. And I don't want to ask her out without having any real conversations or anything to go on. I guess that's what the date is for. It's wierd though because most girls, I never have a problem coming up with anything to say. With her, I don't know how to break the ice. I don't really know what to do, but the whole situation is killing me.
     
  5. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Pot smokers tend to annoy non-pot smokers. And if you're in a rut... a woman is a good excuse to get out of one. In fact, that a woman that makes you want to be a better man is probably the best endorsement she can get. So tell her you quit smoking pot, and get the digits. Before school is over. And oh... quit smoking pot.
     
  6. bowrofl

    bowrofl New Member

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    .

    At least slow down with the pot... I was a stereotypical pothead for a while, until I realized I was going way out of control with it. Take a break with it, and start smoking casually. It really fucks you up, makes you lazy and unmotivated. Smoking too much will also make you a burnout. If you can't just smoke it casually, then you might as well quit.

    Weed is fine.. in moderation.
     
  7. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Nobody will believe you if you say you're slowing down. If you say you aren't smoking it anymore, or are taking a complete break from drugs, she might take that seriously.
     
  8. kristaliah

    kristaliah New Member

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    Try to hang out with her on her own. Let her see the other side of you.. One of my old best friends was one of those 'stoner guys' but nobody knew a lot about him except for the fact that he was a stoner.

    I mean.. I don't know much about your situation, but if you like her, you have to let her get to know you. :dunno: And quit smoking pot. :squint:
     
  9. Panoptimist

    Panoptimist Put a bangin' donk on it.

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    My pot consumption is only part of the equation. I can't seem to get her alone to even ask her out, and I'd feel too random even if I did. Do I just gotta face the rain and do it?
     
  10. Mars Princess

    Mars Princess They hatin'

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    I gotta address this. You won't learn a lot about yourself from worrying about what she thinks . What you will learn is what your insecurities are.

    Like Darketernal said, only you will determine if you are a lazy unmotivated pot smoker. If you genuinely want to make changes in your life, make them for you and not for the girl. Also, don't put yourself BELOW her level. That is a bad position to start off from if you want to show her you are worth her time and intereset. You have to be more confident than that with her, as you are with other girls you talk to.

    If this girl is trying weed, then you might be able to coax her into the pot smoking lifestyle ;) hehe. It also sounds like shie did it just to be cool. Either way, she must not have THAT strict of an attitude about marijuana if she got high.

    The only way to break the ice is to go in face forward. if this girl is always surrounded by her friends, maybe you can invite them to eat somewhere or do something. make it casual and not so obvious. Or maybe you can offer to show her how to get high without all the pressure...also invite her to do somethign while you two get high so it doesn't sound like you're trying to fuck her up for other reasons lol. :)

    good luck man. Change because you want to change though. DOn't change for this girl....or any girlfor that matter.
     
  11. Panoptimist

    Panoptimist Put a bangin' donk on it.

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    Well exactly. I'm learning that I do want to change. And not for her. It's making me realize that I've wasted 3 years of highschool now. I guess not. I don't know yet. That'll be for me to decide later. But I don't want to get her high, because I don't want that to be what brings us together. And I sure as hell dont feel like paying for dinner for 4 or 5 other chicks. I was thinking more along the lines of asking her if she could talk for a couple of minutes and then explain to her how I felt. I'm telling you guys. I really don't know another way to break the ice, and I'm not gonna talk bullshit to this girl about school or the weather or some shit that I don't care about.
     
  12. Mars Princess

    Mars Princess They hatin'

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    sounds like a plan man , sounds like a plan

    but just so ya know, i wasn't implying that you should pay for 4 or 5 of her friends. they shoud have their own money lol. just a suggestion. Let us know what happens. I mean, I'm interested at least
     
  13. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Anal stroking?
     
  14. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    In my opinion drugs are not only a waste of time, but they are a huge part of ruining lives. Not just the drugs themselves but the majority of people associated with drugs have been losers and just shitty lowlife people all together. Hanging around those people play a large part into how you end up acting as well because when you associate with people like that, your values become more like their values.

    I experimented a lot when I was around 16. I hung out with my older brother who was 21 at the time. His friends were all low lifes. At the time I didn't pay much attention to that because I thought my older brother was cool so I thought his friends were cool people. Looking back I cannot believe how stupid I was. One friend of his was 23 and was working at McDonalds on minimum wage, and was proud of the fact that he could flip burgers faster than anyone at the store (or something like that...) All of those people were involved in illegal activity, got into knife fights, getting in fist fights all of the time, etc. Total scumbags.

    Another thing that annoys me about those people is that they have to fit drugs into ANY conversation. We went swimming at this Lake that had large cliffs. One was very high and not many people were jumping off of it. I asked a stoner dude right by me if he had jumped off that cliff before and he said, "Oh yeah man, it's like a new high!" I was just thinking to myself, "What a complete tool". It wasn't just that, it's with ANYTHING.

    If I offend anyone by being sterotyping or something, sorry, this is how I feel. I grew up around a ton of friends that got lost in that crap, people doing drugs all the time, talking about drugs all of the time, etc, and I can't STAND it. I disassociated myself with all of those people after around 17-18 years old. I was tired of their bullshit, lame conversations, and going no where attitudes. To this day if I see them they still blow a good portion of their income on drugs, 50% of their conversation is about drugs, and they live in the same areas still hanging out with the same lowlifes. They still delight in fighting other people, stealing, etc.

    I'm glad I moved on. I am 26, have friends who actually care about me, who can carry conversations that never involve drugs, who actually are working to better their lives. It's a nice thing. I am so much happier to be away from all of that stupid nonsense.

    BTW, the guy that worked at McDonalds. He and a friend were in a bad car accident when they were stoned. He broke his jaw and lost most of his teeth going through the windshield (not buckled). He ended up getting a insurance settlement against the driver for 20k for pain and suffering. Instead of fixing his teeth, he blew the money on drugs.

    Sorry if I got sidetracked but this is a touchy subject with me. Drugs start with peer pressure and then at that age everyone regards drugs as "cool" when that is the furthest thing from the truth.
     
  15. bowrofl

    bowrofl New Member

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    :ugh2:
     
  16. Panoptimist

    Panoptimist Put a bangin' donk on it.

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    What the fuck does this have to do with my situation? Nothing.
    As for anyone who wants to know, I pussied out today. I just can't think of anything to say when I walk up to her.
     
  17. SpaMan

    SpaMan Mind over matter.

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    She probably doesn't think you're a dumb pot-head smoker, but she went to you because you must be known to smoke pot (a lot?) and you'd be someone who could talk with her about it. Sounds like she was just bringing up a point of interest and you took it in a negative way, as you seem to feel negatively about yourself. Your own words: "I want to "clean up my act" in a sense and maybe be able to identify with her or show her that I'm maybe worth a shit." So you obviously feel you're not worth a shit and you're just a dirty unmotivated/lazy pot smoker. Well man, I hate to be the bringer of bad news, but maybe you are? Maybe you have to realize this and make the change. Once you make that change, you can then perhaps show her you're worth a damn. Making her your girlfriend wont change your life, only you can change your life.
     
  18. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Maybe she could be thinking the same way, and that could be motivation to stop using drugs?

    Don't be so certain. Most girls I have known, even those that smoked periodically, had nothing nice to say about the stoners at our school.
     
  19. Don Ganja

    Don Ganja Drunk Driving > *

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    if you really are not doing much besides getting high and eating krispy creams, then it would probably do you some good to cut back. girls like guys who get off their ass and do something fun or productive. i smoke a lot of cannabis, but when i am around my girl i stay sober (unless she wants to smoke, but that is rare). take her to dinner and a movie, shoot some pool, relax in a spa, drive to a poor area and make fun of the crackheads (never mind that last one, but my girl lives in an area like that and we have fun laughing at them). if you have been smoking for a while, take her to some of your favorite sesh spots - most of my favorites are quiet and secluded with beautiful scenery.

    if she is an open minded girl and you show her that you are not the steriotypical sit on your ass stoner, then smoking and women can co-exist quite nicely. it just takes a little balance.

    or just find a stoner chick who doesnt do anything either and you can smoke and do nothing together, but i wouldnt recomend it.
     
  20. Don Ganja

    Don Ganja Drunk Driving > *

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    i dissagree with most of what you said, except this. i hate it when all i hear is "weed acid weed munchies cocaine weed drunk weed pass out ohimsofuckeduprightnow weed blunt acid"
     
    Last edited: May 23, 2006
  21. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    I hear ya.
     
  22. ilovepie

    ilovepie Guest

    I may be wrong... But I'm a girl. And I honestly think you should tell her why you reacted this way. (I mean, with the whole 'that's horrible' situation) Because if she's interested in you, maybe that answer kinda turned her down.
    But of course you need to ask her out first... Because you can't say that in front of her friends.

    Just go for it, and good luck. :)
     
  23. Vheissus310

    Vheissus310 New Member

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    ahhhh I dont know your personally "immaculate" and Im also new to the forums!!! HI EVERYONE!! Umm im probably gonna sound like the rest of the people here but anyways here are my "opinions"

    If ya really like this girl than go for it, find something about her that shes really interested in and bring up small talk. Never feel like you arn't good enough to talk to someone, never place them higher than yourself. I dunno man I say go for it, if you fear rejection than just go back to your old ways... smoking ??? LOL naw but seriously go for it, and as for the whole "shes never alone stuff" find a way to get her "alone" or some way to talk to her... maybe a phone #? anyways dont show to much interests cause girls like a challenge?(right ladies?) So go for it just dont think theres more there than there really is. Maybe one day there will be but at this point in time and by reading your post it seems that you are already falling for her? hah GL young lad.

    listen to these words!!!
    NEVER BECOME DEPENDENT ON ANOTHER PERSON!
     
  24. big 1

    big 1 New Member

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    weed is greaat! in canada, you rarely ge tfind for posession. in canada, weed is so awesome and theyre thinking about decirminalizing it !!! woooooooooohoooooo
     
  25. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Oh wow, that's just great isn't it! :uh:
     

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