Is a single girl obligated to lie that she has a bf if she's not interested in a guy?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by JohnJohnJohnson, Sep 12, 2009.

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Is Alice obligated to pretend she has a boyfriend?

  1. Yes. Admitting that she's single is leading Bob on, even though it's true.

    9.1%
  2. No. Alice should tell Bob the truth even if she's not interested in him.

    90.9%
  1. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Here's the hypothetical.

    Girl, let's call her Alice, is single.

    Guy, let's call him Bob, asks Alice if she has a boyfriend.

    Alice is not attracted to Bob.

    Is Alice obligated to lie to Bob, and tell him that she has a boyfriend, even though she does not have a boyfriend?

    Would telling Bob that she's single be leading him on?
     
  2. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    bf vs single ? no

    married vs poly which to a lot of people means you are a total slut that would fuck anything that walked ? yeah.
     
  3. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    well... IMO there doesn't have to be a double standard, and shouldn't be a double standard, just to suit other people's misguiding preconceptions and prejudices.

    the guy in my hypothetical might take "single" to mean interested.

    so what? that's his problem. he's the one being willfully retarded.
     
  4. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    but it is. And she could have answered simply "oh i'm married"


    If someone asks me, "i'm single" vs "i have a fuckbuddy, a friend with benefits, this one girl that might turn into a gf, and btw I fuck a married woman while her hubby watches etc....." :hsugh:
     
  5. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    so a girl giving a detailed response = she is interested in you.

    therefore, giving an inaccurate response is better.

    good grief
     
  6. CorpseStreet

    CorpseStreet New Member

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    I don't see the problem in simply saying that she is single. Bob shouldn't automatically assume that the girl being single means she's interested.
     
  7. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Bob shouldn't automatically assume that. If he assumes that, he is a fucking retard; we can all agree.

    But what if he does? Maybe he has a preconception about single girls wherein single = indiscriminate, promiscuous sexual behavior.

    Then, isn't it the girl's fault for leading him on?
     
  8. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    No.

    It would be the girl's fault for leading him on if, after Bob discovers she's single and makes his next move, she decides not to tell him that she's not interested.
     
  9. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Yeah. Agreed. Just playing devil's advocate.
     
  10. CorpseStreet

    CorpseStreet New Member

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    It's not the girls fault because she did answer the question directly. It would be different if she included additional info regarding whether or not she is looking for a relationship. For example if he said she is single and looking when he asked that would start to lead him on.
     
  11. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Right, so the point is that there's a distinction between being technically available and being interested.
     
  12. CorpseStreet

    CorpseStreet New Member

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    Yeah. I'm going to assume that you made this thread in response to the comments left in JJJ's thread and I think her situation was different. I imagine most people would translate her adding that she is polyamorous as being the equivalent to saying she is on the prowl and why would you add in that detail if you weren't interested? The guy didn't ask if she was polyamorous, she chose to give up that info. That's like just choosing to tell a guy that you are single without being asked, he will probably assume you're interested.
     
  13. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    The guy in JaneJaneJohnson's situation did ask.

    He asked what her relationship status was.

    So in the case of a single girl, she would just say single. Single means available.

    But in the case of a polyamorous girl, she should omit the fact that she was polyamorous, and pretend to be unavailable?
     
  14. freckleface

    freckleface expose the raw nerve and get on with our lives...

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    I do not see the crazy in you! You met a guy that comes to you. You talk back and forth. Both say hey lets get together some time! Great a chance to get to know someone! You made the right choice (imo) to tell him about you up front:) That way he could decide his comfort level.

    He sends you an e-mail. You let him know that you would love to met him. But just to get to know one another. Just to make sure he does not think that just because you choose this lifestyle does not mean that it is a a sex date! RIGHT? You can choose this life with out having to bang someone right away the same for a norm.

    Then he got upset (imo) because he though he was having a sex date! He was assuming this due to your life style! NOT YOUR FAULT people are stupid!

    You knew what you were doing when you called him gay though. Shit i would have too after him making assumptions.

    So in short do not let this keep you from telling someone the truth in a new conversation. Even if you met me on the street and we made plans to hang out, would be nice to know. If you are up front you do not have to worry about the other BS like why did you not tell me who you were ext ext... Some people would not even want to be friends with you. ( stupid but true )

    And i would just let it go :)
     
  15. freckleface

    freckleface expose the raw nerve and get on with our lives...

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    My thoughts i did not want to write again :):wavey:
     
  16. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    ha. yes. thanks for your thoughts.

    If saying that you're polyamorous is the same as leading a person on, then Emily and I are obligated to lie about our availability simply to pander to other people's preconceptions about polyamory.

    I am shocked that people here all seem to agree that it is leading somebody on simply to state the facts.
     
  17. freckleface

    freckleface expose the raw nerve and get on with our lives...

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    WOW..i am surprised that you are shocked:mamoru:
     
  18. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    ha.

    really, though?

    i mean, i have never considered myself to be "led on" by somebody just stating the fact that they were available.

    i don't think that's so very naive of me.
     
  19. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    Is she obligated to lie? No.

    Would telling Bob that she's single be leading him on? No.

    Is Bob going to think that Alice stating her single status means Alice is interested in him? More than likely, but that's his problem.

    Is it easier for Alice to lie to get willfully retarded Bob out of her hair? Absolutely.
     
  20. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    Sometimes it's just a matter of convenience.
     
  21. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Understood
     
  22. freckleface

    freckleface expose the raw nerve and get on with our lives...

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    I was talking about people here thinking that way:mamoru:
     
  23. CorpseStreet

    CorpseStreet New Member

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    For the record I'm not saying there is anything wrong with JJJ saying that she is polyamorous. If she chooses that she wants to disclose that information that's perfectly fine I just think that she should be well aware of the conclusion that most men will come to. It's tough to say what a polyamorous girl should do, I just know that if I were in the situation I wouldn't mention if I were polyamorous but I am weird about disclosing my relationship status period.
     
  24. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I mean that's true from a practical standpoint but ... it's just like what Lucky Penny said before.

    Is she obligated to lie? No.

    Would telling Bob that she's polyamorous be leading him on? No.

    Is Bob going to think that Emily stating her single status means Emily is interested in him? More than likely, but that's his problem.

    Is it easier for Emily to lie to get willfully retarded Bob out of her hair? Absolutely.

    In other words, although it may be convenient, she's NOT obligated to lie, and it is HIS problem if he equates availability with interest.
     
  25. CorpseStreet

    CorpseStreet New Member

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    I'm not saying she has to lie I'm just saying she might want to consider not sharing as much info right off the bat. If she likes stating that she is poly and it works for her then fine :h5: My biggest thing is she shouldn't be surprised with the response she gets :dunno:
     

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