SRS Irrational (?) insecurity

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by JohnJohnJohnson, Jul 14, 2006.

  1. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    My gf is attractive and completely comfortable in her skin. Like many women, but more than most, because of the aforementioned traits, she receives 100000000 advances a day from men. I've always been somewhat reserved ... I've kissed less than 10 women in all my life at 21. I'm not good looking enough for women to be available without me trying.

    I feel like people see us and think I don't deserve her. My mood wavers, but at this moment, I agree with people, fuck all. :wtc:

    Maybe these are pointless thoughts. But I do find myself, when walking around the city, wanting to attract the women I see. Simply so that I can know that I'm worthy to be with her.

    I would really appreciate some comments and some advice.
     
  2. nish81

    nish81 OT Supporter

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    If you're talking about your girlfriend, it doesn't matter what other people think, it matters what she thinks. If you think that you and her are still in a good, happy relationship, then that means she wants to be with you, and to hell with anyone else. Here's a confidence booster.
    A guy thinks that you don't deserve her. Well, of course he wants to think that! If he likes the way she looks, he wants her, which means that thinking you dont deserve her makes him feel better.
    A girl thinks that you don't deserve her. This just means that the girl is jealous of your girlfriend :p
    And don't try to pick up other women to prove yourself; I don't think your girlfriend would like that ;)

    Hope that helped a bit!
    Nish
     
  3. LogicC

    LogicC New Member

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    If you werent worthy enough for her, you wouldnt be with her. You are, so dont sweat it. She is with you for a reason. At least you know its not for you looks or money, so it must be something real. You should be happy about that.
     
  4. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    Sometimes I think like you too.....But like LogicC said, they are with us for a reason and I know in my case its not my looks and its definately not my money (cuz i have none really) so its gotta be something deeper which is good. I am happy to be with her.

     
  5. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Attractive women don't just receive 1xe10 advances from men every day, for attractive women, every interaction contains some element of appraisal/appreciation plus outright invitation.

    That is entirely normal, and hell, if she's attractive, there's nothing you can do about that.

    So this is about you, specifically your appearance and your self-esteem.

    I've no idea what your physical appearance is, but obviously you know how to go about fixing that up. Don't forget time at the gym.

    As for your self-esteem, you must have some plans about bolstering that up.
    What do you do for a career? For most men, their self-esteem is tied to their job. Short average looking dumper pulling in 7 figures? I guarantee he's got a young lovely on his arm. I see it all the time.

    So...what's your plan in that area?
     
  6. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    I'd work on that insecurity and lack of self confidence if I were you. If you don't believe in yourself enough then how long do you think you have until you convince her that you're right?
     
  7. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I agree, but I'm not sure how to change that.

    I do happen to be out of shape right now (by my standards at least), but even when I have been in shape, it doesn't seem to make that much of a difference. I'm about to finish my last year and a half at college. My job at the moment is about as good it is can be, a high-paying internship in a company I would want to work for.
     
  8. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Get your tush to the gym and work out. Find a partner to go with you. It will help alot.
     
  9. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    o k
     
  10. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Seriously. The more you feel in shape the better you feel about yourself.
     

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