Inviting a Woman on a Date is 100% Normal

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Yail Bloor, Mar 29, 2007.

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  1. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    From reading some of the posts here, I get the impression that many of you guys think you are somehow doing something wrong by inviting a woman on a date.

    I want you to pay attention to the wording of that phrase. I purposefully avoid the phrase "ask her out."

    Why?

    Because "asking her out" has all sorts of connotations that go back to when we were young kids. For youngsters, "asking her out" means asking her to "go steady."

    Your purpose isn't to "ask her out." Your purpose is to invite her on a date so that you can spend time together and get to know one another.

    When you see a woman you are attracted to, you need to realize that you don't have enough information about her. Most of men's attraction to women is based on her looks, so automatically we think she is perfect for us.

    The problem is, you don't have enough information to make this determination.

    You have criteria of what you want in a woman (and if you don't have criteria, you better spend some time figuring it out!).

    How do you gain the information that you need?

    First, you approach and talk to her. Then, you request her phone number. Next you plan a date, then call her and make the date invitation.

    Very simple steps.

    The problem is that men today do not believe this is normal. We think we are somehow doing something wrong when we try to do the steps. So instead, we look for shortcuts.

    We give her our number, then bail because we are afraid of rejection.

    We become friends with a girl, then confess our feelings to her.

    These are shortcuts. You have to do the steps listed above.

    The goal is not to somehow trick her or circumvent the steps. The goal is to discover is she's interested, while at the same time closely watching what she does to learn if she is the type of girl we would like to have a long term relationship with.

    That last part is very important. Even if she's interested, we may discover she isn't right for us (because she's a smoker, has a chemical dependency, or whatever). That puts us in the position of dumping her.

    Many of us have never dumped a girl early on. If she's willing to see us and fuck us, we aren't going to dump her under any circumstances. This can get us in a lot of trouble (been there done that).

    You need to examine your beliefs regarding meeting women and going on dates. If you find that your beliefs are not consistent with the reality that inviting women on dates and talking to women, and asking for their numbers is 100% normal and natural, then your beliefs need to be addressed and changed.

    Do not fear "rejection." What is rejection, anways? Its a woman letting you know that she doesn't like you. Is it possible for every girl to like you and want to date you? Absolutely not!

    When she rejects you, she is giving you information. Before you talked to her, you didn't know if she was right for you. Now you know for a fact that she isn't!

    You can't get what you want without risking rejection. The key is how you deal with it. You can be happy that she let you know early on so you don't waste your time, or you can let it hurt you emotionally.

    Dating used to be a huge mystery to me. So instead of learning how to do it, I would just date whatever girl showed the most interest in me. The problem was, they were choosing me over other guys, but I wasn't choosing them over anybody. So I ended up with women who weren't right for me.

    How can you find the girl who is right for you, if you aren't out there dating many women? What are the odds of the first girl you meet being "the one?"

    Keep it simple.

    Talk to her. Get her number. Make a date. Invite her on the date.

    If falls by the wayside at any of these steps, then so be it. She has made her decision, and she won't be looking back. Neither should you. Immediately start the process anew with a different woman.

    You can let your fears get in the way, or you can feel those uncomfortable feelings and DO IT ANYWAY. That's what courage is: being afraid, but still taking the proper course of action.

    And talking to her for the purpose of going on a date is the proper course of action.
     
  2. bowrofl

    bowrofl New Member

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    i agree with the post above.
     
  3. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    I 100% agree also. For most people on this forum, including my self it is hard to just walk up to a girl that you think is hot, ask for her number and get a date. I think most of it has to do with fear of rejection.
     
  4. Toda Party

    Toda Party .....

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    Blame it on the women who give terrible advice. They tell you not to put the girl in an awkward position, because these girls start thinking about getting hit on by a guy that they don't want anything to do with. Yet they will shut down the pussies who follow that advice. Women can't tell you what they want. And you have to remember that the ugly ones will want different things than the hot ones will.
     
  5. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    You hit the nail on the head.

    It IS hard.

    And you know what? Most things in life that are worth achieving are difficult.

    The trick it to initially feel the discomfort, but do it anyway.

    Then over time, you will no longer be uncomfortable.
     
  6. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    What sucks is that getting dates with random girls works out way better then with girls you know from school or friends. You have a much greater chance of turning a random girl into gf because you take out the friendzone factor.
     
  7. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I cannot wait until I'm at that point.
     
  8. FurryFriend

    FurryFriend New Member

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    I agree, but for a different reason.

    With a random girl, you don't necessarily have feelings for them yet. You only think they're hot. Big deal. A lot of girls are hot.

    But for a girl you already know, you've probably also developed an emotional attachment to her (in addition to thinking she's hot). So the stakes in rejection are much higher.


    This is exactly why two of my male friends in their late 20s have never had a girlfriend or even been on a date. When you live a life of being single, being single becomes the norm. Asking out a girl is outside the norm. It has nothing with my friends being a loser. It has everything to do with being accustomed to a certain lifestyle, one that is hard to change.
     
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2007
  9. Toda Party

    Toda Party .....

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    Fine, change 'hit on' to 'approached'. Still the same thing.
     
  10. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    Girls DO like to be hit on.
     
  11. fray

    fray New Member

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    .
     
  12. Riconosuave

    Riconosuave New Member

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    I'm going to have to disagree just a little bit. It's not that women don't like being hit on, it's that probably 90% of the time, they are being hit on by creepy men or men they absolutely have no interest in. If a woman sees a man she is interested in, there is no way in hell she's not going to like him hitting on her. Women love the attention and want to be hit on, just not by men they aren't attracted to. The hard part is, you will never know unless you try.

    Edit: Just read Alaya's post. Let me rephrase ... when I talk about hitting on, it's just making conversation. Going up to a random woman and showering her with compliments and lines is just pathetic.
     
  13. tamiyaDrifter

    tamiyaDrifter Lurker

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    Best thread ever.
     
  14. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Yeah...not ALL girls like being hit on.

    I find it funny how some of the women of the board are expressing that not all girls like getting hit on, in fact it's pretty annoying a lot of times....yet the guys are telling us what we all really want
     
  15. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    You know my stance on this. "What women say they respond to, and what they actually respond to are usually not the same thing."

    Anyways, the guy shouldn't be worried about her reaction or how she's feeling. As long as he isn't a crazy stalker or rapist, there won't be any problems.

    If she's not interested, she will let him know through her body language and her actions. Its up to the man to read the signs and act accordingly.
     
  16. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I definitely agree. I'm a huge body language reader. I still have trouble agreeing with the idea that all guys should "hit on" women, especially if it's to test their game or whatever. I am a really outgoing girl, but I have literally never liked getting hit on. It makes me super uncomfortable (and yes, I have been hit on by good looking guys who weren't even creepy). Just the entire gesture seems forced a lot of times.

    Oh, and any guy who has ever just asked me for my number without putting forth any effort, yeah they've never gotten my number-at least not my real one...If you really want to get to know me, and not just get in my pants you have to at least show a little interest and talk to me
     
  17. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    The more life experience I garner, and the more I learn, the farther away I'm getting from the idea of "game." In my Florida thread, I didn't use any kind of game on any of those girls.

    What I did do was provide them with a fun opportunity to get to know what type of guy I am. Had they responded in a bitchy way or indifferent way, I would have ended the interaction.

    I think "hit on" has a negative connotation. Anyways, to be successful the man shouldn't be focused on the outcome (sex), and instead he needs to be completely in the moment, experiencing her and letting her experience him. if they hit it off, so be it. If they don't, no big deal.

    I always make sure to completely avoid any sexual overtures or physical compliments in the initial approach. Should the conversation continue, sex is going to come up. I love to talk about sex, and most women do as well. Since other guys use compliments so much, I tend to avoid them at all costs.

    I agree.

    Here's my take: Women are very empathetic for the most part, and pick up on others feelings very easily. The guy who is "dropping game" is most likely nervous and doesn't have a very high belief in what he is going. As a female, you pick up on the uneasiness, and that's why you feel that way. Then he at least subconsciously becomes aware of your feelings, and it builds on itself from there.

    If it seems forced, that's because it IS forced. That's why I'm so happy about my recent approaches, they weren't forced in any way. I wanted to talk to those girls, and those girls wanted me to talk to them.

    And in my mind, I don't consider what I'm doing to be "hitting on" her. Because I don't yet know her well enough to know if I would WANT to "hit on" her.

    :werd:

    If he doesn't have genuine interest in her as a person and just as a piece of meat, many women will pick up on that. Then again, if all he is looking for is a slut for the night, he is using the right approach, he just selected the wrong target in your case.
     
  18. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    Usually the girls who are hot and get hit on 24/7.
     
  19. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :rofl: Yeah, still not true man. Are you a hot girl? I don't think so, so you'll never truly know. Just because you see hot girls getting hit on doesn't mean they all fucking love it. Most good looking girls are plagued with insecurity.
     
  20. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Eh, most guys are way too scared to approach very beautiful women in a sane manner.

    Hot women get honked at, whistled at, etc.

    I would bet they don't get approached in a sane, normal manner very often at all.
     
  21. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    o
     
  22. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    O M G, I absolutely loathe guys who whistle, honk, or try to talk to me at stop lights. Talk about fucking lame and pointless
     
  23. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    I am good friends with a Hooters girl and I have went to parties with her. She told other guys I was her boyfriend so they would leave her alone.
     
  24. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Exactly, I have done the same thing. So how can you still say all girls like getting hit on?
     
  25. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    We're going in circles.
     
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