LGBT Intoducing myself v. ifinallyhasasub

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by Matitulo, Sep 5, 2007.

  1. Matitulo

    Matitulo If sexy never left then why is everybody on my shi

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    So I finally decided to give up my year of lurking and got a sub. I decided I'd start and introduce myself here. I'm 22 and I'm just entering into my fifth and last year at the University of California, Santa Barbara. I'm a bio major with a music minor, and I currently work at a resort nearby.

    Anyway, I just told my family that I'm bisexual about three weeks ago. I went home for the weekend, and decided it was best to tell them in person. I first told my mom when we were shopping at the mall, which ended up being extremely awkward. I thought that if I didn't tell her as soon as possible, I would end up chickening out and not tell her at all. She was fine with it, but asked me why I would want to tell her while we were in the middle of Express for Men. I'm guessing some of you have stories like that. I told my sister and my dad the following day, and they're all really ok with it, which is a huge relief to me, especially growing up in a christian household. I had huge doubts about whether or not the outcome would be positive or not, and thankfully they're really accepting.

    On to the present...I just ended my first homosexual relationship, and I'm really unsure of where to go from here. My boyfriend and I got together unexpectedly (we definitely weren't looking for a gay relationship at the time), and I have no idea what to expect next. I feel like there's a ton of stuff that I know nothing about, and I have no way of figuring it out. Any tips from you veterens?

    Well, I'm definitely excited about starting new, and I'm eager to get to know you all.

    -Matt
     
  2. sholnay

    sholnay New Member

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    lets grab a drink sometime :)

    we can chat about our experiences at SB :)

    im serious too... what a coincidence.. my story is very similar to yours too! small world eh? are you involved in the queer community at all at ucsb? interested in getting involved? need resources? lemme know
     
  3. sholnay

    sholnay New Member

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    wow - lotsa smilies there!

    and... what if i know you already.. haha - that would be even stranger :)

    okay - saw your pics - dont know you.. but if you want some exposure to the gay SB life - lemme know... but its not that great :hs:
     
    Last edited: Sep 5, 2007
  4. Matitulo

    Matitulo If sexy never left then why is everybody on my shi

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    Haha, sounds good. I'm guessing we've met each other some time, one way or another. I haven't gotten involved in the queer community at UCSB yet, I just started coming out to my close friends. However, I was in two a cappella singing groups at UCSB, if you've ever gone to see them.

    Couple questions for you I guess. When did you come out? And was it easy to be yourself, especially at UCSB? It's a lot less liberal than other schools. Also, what are some bars/clubs to go to where I can meet some more of us?
     
  5. sholnay

    sholnay New Member

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    I wish I had better answers for you..

    ohh, lemme guess the groups... BFOM annnnndddddd naked voices? amirite?

    I went to high school with brendan patrick stevie sherlock holmes the 4th (or whatever name he goes by now ;))..

    I came out summer of 05 - started by telling a few friends from back home - then a few friends at UCSB - then family - then more friends...

    All of my friends were more or less great - if it mattered to some of my friends - i just became less close, those who cared and gave me support - are very good friends to this day. You'll figure that part out, just dont put too much worry on what others will think - there comes a time when you gotta live the life you need to be happy. (i just graduated in june btw... 5th year too :o)

    now for bad news... more of us? notrly... you'll find out quick that the OUT gay community in SB is very small. We have gay night at wildcat every sunday - thats it. :hs: Whiskey Dicks is trying to get a gay night going on friday night - but I dont think its going so great...

    I was introduced to the community mostly through QSU - my roommate right now is a friend I met through the organization - its a great way to meet people and see whose out there :)

    if you wanna chat on aim - gimme a ringy: sholnay
     
  6. sholnay

    sholnay New Member

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    oh and - its the same group of people at wildcat every weekend... same 100 or so faces :hs:
     
  7. sholnay

    sholnay New Member

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    oh and - if i can remember back to when i was JUST coming out - this is probably a crazy time for you... so I totally understand if you just needa do things at your own pace and figure stuff out...

    just know there is a lot of support locally for you - and you can message me anytime.
     
  8. Matitulo

    Matitulo If sexy never left then why is everybody on my shi

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    You guessed it. BTW, I lived with Brendan for a little bit earlier this year. Small world.

    I've heard about wildcat, but I hardly ever go downtown, waaaay too expensive. Only gay club I've ever been to is Tiger Heat in L.A., and I wasn't even out then. It was a lot of fun tho, I'd go back any day.

    I thought that the "out" gay community in SB would be small, but it's a little depressing to think about it being almost non-existant. I guess my ex and I will have to venture out together.

    Anyway, I've got class early in the morning, so I'm gonna head to bed, but it's great to start to get to know you. Hopefully we'll get a chance to meet up soon :x:
     
  9. Matitulo

    Matitulo If sexy never left then why is everybody on my shi

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    thanks a bunch, i'll take you up on that sometime:wiggle:
     
  10. sholnay

    sholnay New Member

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    anytime :)

    brendan's a great guy too.

    good luck with class :rofl:

    ohhh i laugh - but i'll be at work all day :wtc:
     
  11. sholnay

    sholnay New Member

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    oh ya - about the gay sb life being non-existent... its NOT non existent - dont let me give you the wrong impression. its just no LA or SF. There are wonderfully active people here. its just hard to get people to be out and proud and to go to things all the time.
     
  12. sholnay

    sholnay New Member

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    haha, im full of replies...

    come with me sometime - i have some friends downtown... cheaper drinks ;) the gays take care of each other :) (and its all about the pre-party)
     
  13. novo

    novo Pokey Man OT Supporter

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    Hi Matitulo :wavey:

    I miss IV. many of my drunken highschool nights were spent there (I'm from Santa Maria originally )

    I also just spent the last week with a 21 year old boy from SB who just moved to SF about a year ago.
    He has little to say about the community there (as far as clubs/nightlife) but he sure seemed to find a way to get around.

    With coming out/ending your 1st relationship, you sound just about where I was in January (not that long ago)

    all i'd say is just relax and don't try force things. You'll just make it harder for you.
    Just take it easy and be yourself. :)
     
  14. Diesel Freak

    Diesel Freak ♂♂ Closet Crew OT Supporter

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    :hay: and welcome. Sounds like sholnay is already jumping your bones. ;) (I kid) :mamoru:
     
  15. sholnay

    sholnay New Member

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    :naughty:
     
  16. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    ...hehe. :hay:
     
  17. aLwZjIttERy

    aLwZjIttERy Per vicis adveho verum...

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    Welcome Matt! Glad to have ya!! :wavey:
     
  18. Matitulo

    Matitulo If sexy never left then why is everybody on my shi

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    :wavey:
     
  19. Digital_

    Digital_ New Member

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    Haha is that crazy ass giraffe still at the zoo out there? Good lord that thing creeped me out.

    SB is tiny on the grand scale of things, atleast Ventura isn't too far away. My best friend Mike and his husband Craig used to live in Ventura and they had a blast. Theres not a ton of "gay" things to do but there are def active gay people out there. Being far enough away from LA helps keep the crowd active, they have to find friends and be nice because there are so few people. Though it does make it rather insular. As long as you're not the flavor of the month though you should be ok.
     
  20. sholnay

    sholnay New Member

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    there is no need to drive to ventura for anything though... if you drive that far - might as well make it down to LA - you're about half way there =/
     
  21. cedric

    cedric I don't have a contract

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    OD --> RD conversion in progress :noes:
     
  22. sholnay

    sholnay New Member

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    only if you come down here ;)
     
  23. cedric

    cedric I don't have a contract

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    says the guy who didn't even bother to let me know he was in town the last 2 times he came through :ugh:
     
  24. sholnay

    sholnay New Member

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    :nono: san jose for a wedding is not "in town"

    I havent been to Sf in over a year. :squint: ;)
     
  25. cedric

    cedric I don't have a contract

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    :rolleyes: <--- this is me getting blown off...and not the hot way involving a mouth and swallowing
     

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