this started as a response to the sybian thread about me hug and that's why it's addressed to syb, but then i realized that it's a pretty important post and people might get something out of it so i posted it separately. Also I'd prefer if you guys relegated any value-less or unrelated or jkidd5 bashing stylezzzz posts to the thread that has already been devoted to it. thanks dudes and dudettes. Sybian, when I write posts I'm not writing for guys like you. And I'm not writing for guys like number one groucho, or even falconer (I can't remember falconer ever making an asshole post, but just like you two he is hidebound and averse to change. your heads are so far up your asses that I’m genuinely impressed by your ability to see through the shit and go about your daily lives. But I digress). I write for guys who come on here with an open slate who don’t really know anything, but know that they are at a fork in the road. Guys like skrappy who are walking on the edge of making a decision about their life, and one direction is the direction of blaming the world, blaming your parents, blaming god, and not taking any sort of ownership or responsibility for your own life. It's the one that says you can never be who you want to be because of X Y and Z reasons, the one that never allows you to grow and develop as a person because you view all these external things as being barriers to your progress. It's the path that keeps you living in the past and reminiscing over some chance lucky experience with success or a girlfriend, as if you will never achieve that level of happiness or success again (which actually it probably won’t if you continue to live in that externally-attributed, growth-less state). And as you reminisce and believe that the world is at fault, you absolve yourself entirely of responsibility and it feels kinda good to have that whole weight off your shoulders. And you INGRAIN that belief into yourself so deeply that it becomes a pillar of your reality and you no longer even have the POSSIBILITY of seeing the world in any way where you actually have not only the POTENTIAL but the CAPABILITY for change and growth; you become a Sybian or a groucho or a Falconer (sorry if I’m forgetting any one of you, don’t take it personally bros, I love you all equally). But then the worst part about it is that you then come into the Vag and make posts that convince the edge-guys to go down that path too, AND YOU ARE HURTING THEM. They are in a very vulnerable position and when the externally-attributive mindset is the only one that they see in the places that they go to for advice, that is the one they take, and they follow this path themselves. and it is THAT that I am trying to counteract. Or they can take the path and think, SHIT, I can take responsibility for my life! Nobody is responsible for my own well-being and my success except for me. I am legally and physically an adult, now I have to work on the mental part. It’s not my parents’ job to take care of me. it’s not OT’s job to coddle me and tell me that everything is ok, I don’t have to grow as a person, some girl (some 300 pound porker who has trouble deciding if she wants to date you or eat you) will eventually like me and that’s ok, because judging a girl based on how attractive she is and how she treats herself is SHALLOW (shout outs to groucho ). No, instead, they can choose to take the path of realizing that there are certain things that are universally attractive not only to women, but to people as a whole. And luckily, these are the exact same things that will make them a better person. Taking on the responsibility to become the best person you can possibly be, releasing your ego, releasing your internal insecurities and desire to prove to others that you are better than them so that you can constantly revalidate yourself, putting a good and positive energy out to the people you meet, adding value to people’s lives instead of making clever little witty remarks to put them down so that you can prove to them and you that HAHA YOU DIDN’T FOOL ME, I CAN BE NEGATIVE EVEN IN THIS SITUATION, developing a sense of humor that is not entirely based on negativity and putting other people down, and a myriad of other things, and then FINALLY not giving a shit what anybody else thinks about you because you know that you are taking care of all these previous things; you are a good, cool person and most people like you because of it, and if anyone else doesn’t like you it’s because something is wrong with THEM. That’s the thing though, if you don’t take care of all those other things, the social feedback is pretty important so that you know that you SHOULD change, because you’re not a good likable person just because you believe you are. You’re a good likeable person... because you are a good likeable person So that’s who I’m writing for. I’m not writing my posts for you Syb, not for any of the guys who have already decided to blame everyone but themselves. I’m writing for those guys on the edge.