Internal vs. external attribution v. no name calling, mods don't like it

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Chip Chipperson, May 3, 2007.

  1. Chip Chipperson

    Chip Chipperson New Member

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    I took out the name-calling from the last post because it doesn't change the content of the post (and i don't want it locked again lol). it's reposted because it's important. I hope it helps someone. And let's keep from name-calling so it doesn't get locked again. let's only talk about the topic. thanks.




    Some guys come on here with an open slate who don’t really know anything, but know that they are at a fork in the road. Guys like skrappy who are walking on the edge of making a decision about their life, and one direction is the direction of blaming the world, blaming your parents, blaming god, and not taking any sort of ownership or responsibility for your own life. It's the one that says you can never be who you want to be because of X Y and Z reasons, the one that never allows you to grow and develop as a person because you view all these external things as being barriers to your progress. It's the path that keeps you living in the past and reminiscing over some chance lucky experience with success or a girlfriend, as if you will never achieve that level of happiness or success again (which actually it probably won’t if you continue to live in that externally-attributed, growth-less state). And as you reminisce and believe that the world is at fault, you absolve yourself entirely of responsibility and it feels kinda good to have that whole weight off your shoulders. And you INGRAIN that belief into yourself so deeply that it becomes a pillar of your reality and you no longer even have the POSSIBILITY of seeing the world in any way where you actually have not only the POTENTIAL but the CAPABILITY for change and growth.

    Or they can take the path and think, SHIT, I can take responsibility for my life! Nobody is responsible for my own well-being and my success except for me. I am legally and physically an adult, now I have to work on the mental part. It’s not my parents’ job to take care of me. it’s not OT’s job to coddle me and tell me that everything is ok, I don’t have to grow as a person, some girl (some 300 pound porker who has trouble deciding if she wants to date you or eat you) will eventually like me. No, instead, they can choose to take the path of realizing that there are certain things that are universally attractive not only to women, but to people as a whole. And luckily, these are the exact same things that will make them a better person.

    Taking on the responsibility to become the best person you can possibly be, releasing your ego, releasing your internal insecurities and desire to prove to others that you are better than them so that you can constantly revalidate yourself, putting a good and positive energy out to the people you meet, adding value to people’s lives instead of making clever little witty remarks to put them down so that you can prove to them and you that HAHA YOU DIDN’T FOOL ME, I CAN BE NEGATIVE EVEN IN THIS SITUATION, developing a sense of humor that is not entirely based on negativity and putting other people down, and a myriad of other things, and then FINALLY not giving a shit what anybody else thinks about you because you know that you are taking care of all these previous things; you are a good, cool person and most people like you because of it, and if anyone else doesn’t like you it’s because something is wrong with THEM. That’s the thing though, if you don’t take care of all those other things, the social feedback is pretty important so that you know that you SHOULD change, because you’re not a good likable person just because you believe you are. You’re a good likeable person... because you are a good likeable person

    hope this one stays alive :x:
     
    Last edited: May 4, 2007
  2. Sybian

    Sybian She's with me...

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    My thread went longer than yours. :rofl:

    Oh and again TLDR.
     
  3. gabacho numero uno

    gabacho numero uno New Member

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    same response as before. i don't feel like re-typing it.
     
  4. Chip Chipperson

    Chip Chipperson New Member

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    i agree, it's not groundbreaking. there's nothing new under the sun :dunno: but hopefully it will open up the eyes of some of the people who come to visit. plus I now have a place to link to instead of retyping it in every other thread :)
     
  5. gabacho numero uno

    gabacho numero uno New Member

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    good.
     
  6. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    What does TLDR mean?

    edit - too long didn't read?
     
  7. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    I like that part a lot :bigthumb:
     
  8. Nothing but love here from me bro.
     
  9. Limited Edition

    Limited Edition New Member

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  10. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    Only thing I'd like to add is that anyone can 'know' what to do, but very few actually put in the work and go out and do it.

    People constantly ask me for life coaching, or pickup coaching, whatever, then when I come back and ask them how it went they say "oh, havnt gotten around to that yet".

    Life is work. Being successful is work. It often sucks to work hard. Get over it... you'll be much happier in the end if you just do the hard work required and then reap the benefits.
     
  11. Jimeigh

    Jimeigh Every rook and jay in the corvidae have been raven

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    yea. kinda stupid, isnt it?
     
  12. Casino

    Casino OT Supporter

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    People always tell me that but when some guy makes fun of you in front of a bunch of other peole, they all think its funny. For you to not care about what they say and think, how do you act in that situtation? Do you just ignore it and walk away? Do you fight back? What do you do?
     
  13. Chip Chipperson

    Chip Chipperson New Member

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    The best way to deal with someone making fun of you when it isn't socially appropriate just to ignore them and use your body to block them out of the conversation (e.g. when they're part of the group, etc.) is to not show that it affects you, agree and exaggerrate... "yes... and"

    "Nice shirt, did your mommy buy it for you"
    "yeah and she promised to buy me a matching pair of pants"

    All other responses make you lose value in some way
     

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