Interesting study done...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Funklordtoejam, Apr 27, 2008.

  1. Funklordtoejam

    Funklordtoejam New Member

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    http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/04/080424140251.htm

    Scientific study done on miscommunication between the sexes, specifically when, during a period of escalating intimacy, one desires to stop (the woman, in these cases) and the messages conveyed, and how men interpret them versus what women mean.

    This study isn't about rape, date rape or regular ol' 'you gonna get raped' rape, just regular consensual intimacy.

    I thought it was a neat article. Tell me what you think. :)
     
  2. BadKat

    BadKat GIVE ME WINE!!

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    It's deffinitely interesting :dunno: Not really sure what I think about it though.
     
  3. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Women need to be responsible for their own actions
     
  4. Funklordtoejam

    Funklordtoejam New Member

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    A lot of scientists need money. They don't get paid until they get a grant to do some research, and sooooo...they make up something silly to research in order to pay the bills. Those mortgage bills aren't going to pay themselves, y'know.
     
  5. Funklordtoejam

    Funklordtoejam New Member

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    I've often told guys I don't like to beat around the bush, and I try to be as direct as possible, so as to avoid confusion. This works out well but sometimes I think it scares some men off. Whatevs.
     
  6. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    I'm not as direct as I should be. But, in a situation where, for example, about a year ago, the answer to "why don't you want to go further" is "i've just found out you taste like a fucking ashtray, and quite frankly I get my needs met by fuckbuddy and you aren't bringing anything I don't already get to the table" I find a white lie less hurtful/rude
     
  7. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    Its not that hard, just say "Stop" or "No", anything else and you are playing a game. Some girls are just trying to be nice, while others are playing hard to get.
     
  8. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    I think generally we are terrified of hurting your feelings, or looking stupid, or looking prudish, which i've found to be as detrimental a label as 'slut'
     
  9. BadKat

    BadKat GIVE ME WINE!!

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    i'm sorry but that was :rofl:

    I try to be as direct as possible. I don't say shit like "It's getting late". I simply say "yeah, you should probably go now, as I'm not in the mood/don't have time/don't want to go any further". :dunno: it's pissed guys off in the past, but whatev.
     
  10. BadKat

    BadKat GIVE ME WINE!!

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    :werd:
     
  11. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    That DOES sound terrifying. :rolleyes:

    I think we all realize that fear of confrontation is the issue here.

    Good thing we have intelligence to make sensible decisions in spite of our feelings.
     
  12. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    When it comes to unwanted sexual encounters, saying "No" and not have have an unwanted encounter is better than being unclear, having said encounter, and being concerned with what people think about you.

    Who cares what the other person thinks about you, it is not going to change the opinion of your friends and its not like you wanted to sleep with him anyways.
     
  13. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    but then they get to have a rape/almost raped story to cry over.
     
  14. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    No, terrified enough to make stupid excuses instead of just kicking your ass out :p

    To all who asked similar questions: obviously, its best to be direct, and obviously, an unwanted sexual encounter is far worse than unwanted confrontation, i'm just stating the likely thought process. People do sensitive things via escalation. If a woman is making out wiht a friend and doesn't want to go further, its more tactful to start with "its getting late" than "you taste bad and I don't want your mouth anywhere near mine anymore," escalating if needed.
    I'm not saying its best, i'm saying its whats done.
     
  15. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    I 100% believe that if someone falsely accuses someone of rape, the accuser should serve the sentence the other person would have had they been convicted. Victims of sexual abuse have a really difficult time coming forward b/c of people who use accusations like that as a tool.
     
  16. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Why not just say, "here....have a tic tac"?
     
  17. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    :mamoru: i'm a clean freak/hygiene freak, :mamoru:
    if the guy tastes/smells bad, there is no turning me back on once I notice. That was in reference to a specific incident, I was making out with a friend, and I really decided not to go any further b.c 1. His cigg taste was really gross, and 2. I didn't have any verification of his STD status, and I HATE condom sex enough that I would honestly rather have no sex.
     
  18. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    yeah but come on...we're all human and we all get gross from time to time. What if he brushed and flossed real quick then commenced to eating you out? Then you wouldn't have to kiss him but yeah...the STD thing would still be an issue. Fuck it...hypothetically speaking....if the STD issue wasn't there would his breaff be too much for you?? Even if he could clean it up??
     
  19. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Oh I don't know, I really don't. At this point in time I don't think I could do casual sex either way. If it was a bf, yeah, a brush would probably be fine. Casual sex, I don't know, I have options so its much easier to make me want to choose another one.
    Like I said though, at the time I had a fuck buddy, and I could have condom free sex with him (virgin) so I a. didn't really need another source of sex (it doesn't really do anything for me to have lots of partners, I don't think its wrong or gross, but ones plenty for me) and b. I, like I said, fucking hate condoms. If I want to fuck rubber i'll fuck vibrating rubber.
     
  20. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    :rofl:
     
  21. Genghis.Tron

    Genghis.Tron New Member

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    Well, what we think is often false...
     
  22. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    I'm starting to think that when a girl says "Its getting late", instead of the guy assuming this means he is going to get some action, he should just flat out say "I guess you want me to go home then?".

    But then that like takes out the romance when a girl says Its getting late and you go into make a move that she wanted you to make...

    idk...
     
  23. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Definitely ask her that. Then look at her submissively and see how she reacts. If she reacts positively, let her know that her reaction meant the world to you. If she reacts negatively, look really sensitive and hurt.
     
  24. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    ...could be construed as LMR. If you say "I guess you want me to go home then," you're potentially breaking her state and guaranteeing yourself no sex...

    ...unless she follows with "nooo! I'm having so much fun with you!"...

    ...unless it actually wasn't LMR in the first place in which case she will say "yes, go home."
     
  25. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Fuck it. Go by what she does, not what she says.

    "It's getting late" but not making any effort to stop making out with you doesn't really mean "it's getting late."

    "It's getting late" combined with some action indicative of wanting to stop = "it's getting late (go home)."
     

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