Interesting situation...opinion?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Boudreaux, Dec 4, 2007.

  1. Boudreaux

    Boudreaux Active Member

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    so, one of my friends/ex-co worker is having a birthday party. I dated said ex-co workers sister for 8 months, and we broke up back in June. Since then its been the typical trying to be friends nonsense.

    Today she asked if i would be okay if she brought the guy she dated before me (whom she wants to be with, but they aren't in "relationship") with her to the birthday.

    I've only seen this guy in passing (never formally introduced), and she would occasionally go spend time with him when we were dating. I was okay with it, but now realize my McSteak.

    I told her that she could do what she wanted, and that i was indifferent about it, and i was appreciative of her considering my feelings about the situation.

    In all honesty, it'll bother him WAY more than it'll bother me. I'm just looking for thoughts and opinions about this...and to tell a story...
     
  2. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Are you being honest with yourself?

    I'm thinking that you wouldn't have made the thread if it didn't bother you...at least a little bit anyways.

    Be honest with yourself about how you feel so that you are not surprised by how bothered you're going to be when you show up and see her with him. :dunno:

    Cause that's really the only issue here. You're all adults. There's no reason why you can't be in the same room and why it has to be all about her and him and you and who's feeling what. It's none of your birthdays. It's your coworker's birthday.

    Focus on THAT and forget about that other noise. Be cordial and make sure you are honest with yourself about how you feel about it, because if you're not it's going to be harder on you when it hits you "out of the blue" that you really ARE bothered by it.
     
  3. Boudreaux

    Boudreaux Active Member

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    yeah, i'm being honest with myself. I -really- want to meet this guy, from every description i get, he's a big baby, and i'm sure i'll be a lot more adult about the situation than him.

    my guess is he wont come (read: she wont bring him), b/c i'll be my awesome self, and he wont contribute much at all, then he'll give my ex a hard time about it later or something, something she doesn't want to deal with.

    here's the gchat convo in which this took place...

    10:01 AM </SPAN>The chick: okay, well my sister told me about buffalo wild wings on friday
    me: ...tired of doing this design report :-(
    yeah
    The chick: and i have a christmas dinner to go to, so i will come after that
    me: i already RSVP'd
    The chick: yeah
    10:03 AM so i'm wondering, if i brought bob, is that going to be weird or hard for you? i mean, i don't think i really want him to come, but he'll be with me at dinner, so i'm going to have to address the situation, but i wanted to see how you would feel about it. i'm not going to think one way or another with your answer, but if you don't want him to come, i can just tell him that i don't think it would be a good idea, and he'd understand
    10:05 AM me: You can do what you want, im indifferent really
    10:10 AM where'd ya go?
    The chick: i'm here
    that's fine
    me: i do really appreciate you considering my feelings about the situation on friday
    but it wont bother me one way or another
    Tthe chick: alright
    </SPAN>
     
  4. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Well, as long as you are really being honest with yourself, then you'll be all right.

    Curiosity is a bitch though. Sometimes you think you are fine with something until you are put in the situation and then you discover you are not fine. Just prepare yourself for the WORST, so that you won't be thrown a curveball out of the blue.
     
  5. Boudreaux

    Boudreaux Active Member

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    yeah, i can imagine this being really shitty...

    i honeslty hold a lot of resentment and anger towards her, and i think i can channel that into making sure i'm having a great time...

    hmmmmm

    besides, if worse comes to worse I can just think that they were "saving" themselves for each other, and then i got to nail the fucking crap out of her all the time, and he hasn't :wiggle:
     
  6. Dreams2Reality

    Dreams2Reality saywhat

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    :rofl::rofl:
     
  7. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    There's what I was looking for.

    I knew there was something there that didn't add up or you wouldn't have made the thread.

    Don't channel it into anything. Shift your focus off of this entirely. Hell, if she knows you resent her, then her asking you about that guy was probably just her getting in your head.

    Honestly, if you don't think you can get her out of your head, then don't go to the party dude. Maybe you should just NOT go, because if you still resent her and are angry with her, then you're not going to have a good time anyway. Offer to take the friend at work out to lunch and give her her present then.
     
  8. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Oh, and cliffs on the ex and why you are angry with her?
     
  9. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    I read through some of your old threads about her. Why did you guys break up?

    If this is the same girl in those two threads, then I'd steer clear of this party. lol
     
  10. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Umm, either go or don't go. You stopped dating 6 months ago and only dated for 8 months. If she wants to bring the guy she's talking to to her sisters party then you have absolutely no right in the first place to tell her if that's ok or not. You just either decide if you will go and not let it bother you or stay home. If you think he's the one who will be uncomfortable that is not your problem...but I have a feeling you will care otherwise you would've never made this thread.
     
  11. Boudreaux

    Boudreaux Active Member

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    i agree, and i told her she could do what she wanted. She asked me if i'd have a problem with it.

    i do care, but the reason i posted this thread, and the reason it bothers me, is that she even feels like she has to ask me if its okay he comes...it annoys me that she continues to do this, as if her anticipating it is going to make the situation materialize in a negative way, because she's obviously worried about it.

    i'm not her daddy, she can do what she wants, i can deal with it, i'm a big boy.

    **edit: and its not just "a guys she's talking to" its her ex she's been unable to get over since they broke up over a year and a half ago, after dating for four and a half- and a major reason we didn't work out. Neither one of them is strong enough to end it.
     
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2007
  12. Boudreaux

    Boudreaux Active Member

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    i've posted in here a lot about my past girlfriends, so its difficult for me to discern which you would be talking about?

    We broke up for the fact that i became the "nice guy". Did a complete 180 from who i am because i became afraid of loosing her, thus she lost interest. We've all heard the scenario before. - lesson learned

    she doesn't "know" i resent her, although she might feel it. We havn't ever really talked about it.

    I've spent time with her, and occasionally we have a good time. I'm going to be there for someone else, albeit her sister, but i won't have to really communicate to her much, or at all if, i don't desire.
     
  13. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Well that's because she asked you if you cared because she still cares about you. Not that that should matter to you, but that's why she asked you.
     
  14. Doc Love

    Doc Love Guest

    Stop being pussy hurt, be happy she is not your problem. She is an indecisive person who would cause you pain and suffering with her indecisiveness. If I were in your shoes, I would go to the party and have a great time. Who gives a shit if she is there. No restraining order, no worries. Also stop talking to this girl it is not helping you get over her. She needs to be forgotten.
     
  15. Boudreaux

    Boudreaux Active Member

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    i know thats why, and i told her i appreciated it
     
  16. Boudreaux

    Boudreaux Active Member

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    pussy hurt is the last of my feelings really.

    I am going to go to the party and have a great time, thought i made that clear.
     
  17. Doc Love

    Doc Love Guest

    Cut off contact with this girl and you are as good as gold too.
     
  18. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Well then I don't know what else you are looking for here. Just go and have fun like you said you would.
     
  19. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    You dated for 8 months and its already been 6 months... You should be over her.
    And it seems you are for the most part, but there's obviously something bothering you. It's her sister and the fact that she even bothered to ask you is pretty damn cool of her I think, so I wouldn't stress to much about her asking you and making it seem like you might cause a scene, etc..

    Just take it for what it is, go to the party and have a good time. If you're really worried about it then bring a date with you to keep yourself occupied.

    I think you'll be fine though.
     
  20. Boudreaux

    Boudreaux Active Member

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    she didn't bring him. She was actually late to the get together, and was texting me to not leave before she got there :dunno:

    i was really pretty intoxicated by the time she got there. She, i, and one of my other friends had tentativly planned on going downtown after but i said something that pissed her off and she left w/o saying goodbye pretty quickly. I'll admit it was probably something assholish, but probably something she took way to seriously too.
     
  21. DreadJockey

    DreadJockey New Member

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    what and who she does is none of ur beezwax

    if you are making it your beezwax you still have issues with her


    When I break u with someone its clean
    I could not care less what or who they do after the fact
     
  22. Boudreaux

    Boudreaux Active Member

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    i'm very aware of this, read thread much :ugh2:
     

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