Interesting situation..need to vent I guess..

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by tubachris85x, Jun 17, 2009.

  1. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    This is to just get off my chest, but I find this kind of interesting. I've seemed to have found myself in the middle of what I call my "ideal" relationship with a girl. I've known her for little over two years now, and we've just become really close friends over that time. We've never dated, mostly because I've feared ruining our friendship...and she feels the same way towards me. I honestly can't describe it, but I do have some feelings for her, have for awhile now.

    Partially the reason I broke up with my last girl (before I realized she was crazy) is that I just didn't feel the same sort of connection as I do with said girl.

    We've always been very open to each other, nothing secret between us, and she's honestly the closest I've been with a girl since my first GF, but sometimes, I feel even closer then with her. Our personalities just 'click' so well, that there's never been anything negative between us.

    I don't know how to describe our relationship, unless someone else has been in something like this before..sorta being a BF/GF, but "not" at the same time. She tells me that I'm the only person she talks to, in that she feels very comfortable in opening up and expressing how she feels or whatever.

    So here's the kicker, because everything with me is messed up and complicated, she dosn't live anywhere near me..at least not anymore. I met her early in my freshman year of college, to which, she moved back north with her parents and decided to finish up some of her classes there locally to help save some money. Since then, however, we've pretty much have been in constant contact.

    Recently, however, she's started dating someone, which I'm proud for her, because she's been having trouble finding people she really likes up there. The thing that worries me though, is that she has not changed her attitude towards me. This worries me, because she tells me how happy she is in her relationship with this guy and that she loves him to death, etc., but I feel she is sometimes more emotionally involved with me then with this other guy.

    Because of this, I feel that I need to step back. I've told her on numerous occasions, that I need to respect her relationship and stop talking about certain things, or whatever. I'm not going to hide the fact that some of our conversations are explicit and we are very open with our emotions. On top of all this, she tells me that I'm the only person she does talk to in this way. I feel it's only going to get worse, in that, part of this can or will affect her own relationship with this guy, and I feel guilty half the time now because I feel that I'm her "fuel" for getting her to be how she is with me.

    To give you an example..one of her comments last night was "I wish you were here sleeping next to me.." To me, what she is doing while in the middle of a relationship, is wrong, but her feelings towards me has been around longer then her being with her new BF. I guess you can sort of say I'm jealous that she is dating this guy, but at the same time, I feel really bad that she's doing this behind his back. I've only known of of one time where she cheated on one of her ex's because she felt it was the only way to get out of that relationship. That's another story, but that's the only example I DO justify her actions..other then that, she has not cheated.

    So bottom line..I don't know where to go from here. I know that part of what she is doing is wrong for her relationship..but on the other hand, I don't want to completly push her away. She has told me that she dosn't want to hold me back from getting into relationships with others, but says at the same time, that she dosn't want whoever I do date to miss-understand our friendship/relationship, in fear of losing me.

    I keep getting myself into weird situations..I really need to move into the backcountry and live alone for a few years...

    Cliffs: I suck
     
  2. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    After re-reading it, to clarify when I meant "my Ideal relationship," I mean our friendship/relationship is almost exactly how I'd like it to be...but I wouldn't mind it going to the next level. I know it's not anytime soon, but I'm just putting that out there.
     
  3. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    is this the one you were "stalking" on myspace, bf emailed you pissed off and told you to leave her alone, etc.... ?


    sounds like you are friendzoned. Maybe not for any other reason than the distance. But either way, you aren't going to ever get with this girl so why bother ? she supposedly wants you but she's fucking some other dude. that alone is a huge fucking kick in the balls.
     
  4. PcH

    PcH Guest

    She's in a relationship with this guy? I would just be straightforward with her. Telling her how you feel is completely up to you, but it sounds like you want to inform her that you can't be in a more than friend position if she wants to be in a relationship with other people.
     
  5. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Tell her how you feel. If she wants to date you, then date her. If she doesn't, run and don't look back.

    This message brought to you by ForgottenSpiral and toast. Toast, it's good with lots of things on it.
     
  6. Deepsouthwrx

    Deepsouthwrx If in doubt, flat out!

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    ive been the bf in a situation like this, and having a girl say things like that to someone shes not dating really sucks for the guy in the relationship, unless hes a total prick back off and don't get in between them.
     
  7. ChipOnShoulder

    ChipOnShoulder New Member

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    You aren't just friends with her. Either do something about it or back off. You clearly have desire for her, and she might have desire for you. Make it happen, or get it out of the way via rejection.

    Either way, this half relationship you have with her is bullshit. Either you are friends with a girl, and DON'T secretly pine for her... or you're a friend zone bitch.

    Looks like you are a friend zone bitch with a semi-legitimate chance of getting with her. Personally, i feel that your perspective is skewed and i don't trust your description of your relationship with this girl. Reminds me too much of myself when I was desperately in love with a girl i had been friend zoned by, lots of lying to myself about what our relationship was really about.

    It was clear as day to everyone else, but just not to me.

    Here are some motivational pictures.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
  8. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    Na, this is someone completly different, and I don't 'stalk' anyone
     
  9. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    It's not that I have to tell her how I feel, she already knows this. She's already told me that if she lived near me, she would have "snatched me up," as she said.

    My perspective *may* be skewed, but who's isn't when trying to describe something? I'm not a robot with perfect memory..and I may have feelings for her, but I'm not crazily in love with her, so I'm just telling you guys how it is. She compared our relationship, last night, to that of the characters "Winston and Julia" from the book 1984..of course, minus the obvious. Can't remember verbatum what she said, but she said it to the affect that we "share what's forbbiden between each other."

    Yes, it's kinda weird, but I understand it.
     
  10. calisteph6

    calisteph6 Active Member

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    how can you be in an ideal relationship with someone you're not in a relationship with? :confused:
     
  11. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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  12. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    So you "share what's forbidden between each other" but you don't share sex... :squint:

    This is the epitome of being friendzoned.
     
  13. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    Bah, call it wat you want, she's already told me that she thinks of me more then just a friend. I don't think I'm friendzoned, especially how sexual she is towards me. I don't think I'm friendzoned, especially when she tells me she thinks of me while "going at it"

    Sheesh
     
  14. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    She's boning other dudes and not you = friendzone.
     
  15. saosko

    saosko OT Supporter

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    You have a lot to learn about women, young grasshoper.
     
  16. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Eggsactly.
     
  17. ChipOnShoulder

    ChipOnShoulder New Member

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    Jesus H Christ.

    :ugh:

    You are an "INTELLECTUAL WHORE"

    A man who is smart, interesting, and gets used by girls for conversations. They get their dick elsewhere.

    This term was made popular by the fine gentleman at laddertheory.com. You fit the definition of that term perfectly in the context of this "relationship"

    You are in Denial.

    You are probably holding off on hitting on other girls, trying to get with other girls, or at least holding back... for this "friend". Do yourself a fucking favor, and either consumate your desire for this girl, or put her into TRUE friend territory. Male/Female friends don't share inappropriate/intimate details.

    Get this girl, or move on with your life. There are LOTS of girls with "personalities that just click" with you, you just gotta go find em. No use wasting your time with a girl you aren't gonna date.
     
  18. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    It's no offense, man. It's just we've all been there. We've all thought "They don't know what they're talking about" and "I know her better than they do" or whatever. Simple fact of the matter is we've all learned the hard way that if your dick isn't in her pussy, you gotta either step it up or move the fuck on.

    There was a point in my life I was in exactly your shoes, but at this point, I wouldn't listen to a girl I wanted to be with tell me about how she bones someone else. I don't care if she had a picture of me stapled to his forehead. She's either with you or she's not. In your case, bro, I'm afraid she's not.

    For your own sake, listen to our advice and move on. Or just suffer the consequences. The choice is yours.
     
  19. saosko

    saosko OT Supporter

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    Best thing you could do put her in the friend zone and find some hot ass girl, tell her all about this girl and how great she is.. I guarantee you if she is that into you, she will get so jelous that this method will reel her right in, keep in mind she is still getting cawk somewhere else, not from you.
     
  20. ChipOnShoulder

    ChipOnShoulder New Member

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    Most guys just have to learn the hard way.

    Myself included.
     
  21. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    Your all right. It's not that I wouldn't be the one with her, it's just distance. At the time she was near me, it wasn't nearly at this level, but yea, I guess your all right.

    Just need to find a girl who's not crazy, for starters..
     
  22. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Now thats a crazy idea.
     
  23. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    Well, at least one that won't try to make me think she's preggo...
     
  24. saosko

    saosko OT Supporter

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    You aren't even with this girl and you are refering to her being 'the one' ... I think we have this all wrong, sounds like you are the crazy one:mamoru:
     
  25. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    When did I say "she's the one"?
     

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