In your experience, has love developed quickly or slowly

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Falconer, Sep 12, 2007.

  1. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I was talking to this girl and this topic got brought up.

    Every time I've been in love, it's come about very, very quickly into the dating process. And the girls with whom I was in love (LTRs) said they experienced the same thing. They're like "I can't believe how quickly I fell in love with you" or "I knew I loved you after our first date" (which could just be speaking in hindsight), etc.

    The reason I'm asking is because this other girl was telling me about this guy she's been dating for 6 months, and how she "thinks she's starting to fall for him."

    I was thinking "it's been 6 months and you think you're starting to fall for him?" :squint:


    Actually, she and I dated a while back but I was never really that into her. She later told me that she was jealous when I started dating this other girl because I fell in love with this other girl so quickly. I was thinking "yeah, that's how love works..."

    Of course I didn't want to say that to her.

    Anyway, every girl I've been in love with I knew almost instantly, and I said "I love you" to them in less than a month of dating, and of course they said it back :bigthumb:

    So Vag, what has been your experience?
     
  2. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    I have both situations personally. I knew my current SO was going to be something big the moment I saw him. I can't say that I loved him right away, but I knew he was going to be more than a brief fling. It just clicked and I had a feeling that things were going to be great and I was going to fall for him quickly. I knew I loved him about 3 months in, and we dropped the L bomb after about 4.5 months.

    My last boyfriend had to work a little harder to win me over. After we'd be on a few dates I wasn't sure exactly what I wanted but he was just so sweet that I kept going out with him. I became pretty attached to him after three months or so, but didn't really feel like I loved him until after about 7 months. Even then, it wasn't a very strong feeling, which was basically my first clue that it wasn't going to work.
     
  3. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Out of curiosity, did he have strong feelings for you? Or was he kind of in the same boat as you.
     
  4. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    In general, if I allow myself something like that, it happens very quickly. I know within a very short time frame whether or not I could love someone, and if I can, and allow myself to, it's usually all at once.
    Oh I love falling in love :hs:
     
  5. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Exactly.
     
  6. calisteph6

    calisteph6 Active Member

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    Quickly....which sucks because it seems hit or miss if the person feels the same and that sucks. And sometimes the person feels that way and I don't, but I want to date casually while trying to keep them from getting serious. It gets complicated.
     
  7. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Interesting.
     
  8. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    He pursued me in the beginning and I would respond but I didn't really instigate anything. I wouldn't have been heartbroken if we had stopped seeing each other. I think he was more infatuated than I was in the beginning but I wouldn't say that he developed strong feelings quicker. At one point though he felt like he has certain feelings for me but in his head he thought it was too early to feel that way. I told him I wasn't in a rush for anything so not to stress about it and things will happen when they're supposed to. That was around month 4 I think.
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I made this thread a long time ago when comparing my current relationship with past one's. When we got together neither of us were looking for anything remotely serious. Then about 4 months in it was like we both realized that neither of us had ever wanted to be with anyone else and had become a serious relationship. We didn't say "I love you" though until about 6 months in. I'd say our "love" developed at a slower rate, but in a weird way I like that.

    Every other serious relationship I've been in seemed to be so fast, and we would get swept up in emotions....and then they also ended quickly. I feel like my current relationship was mature and took its time to develope, and now we appreciate what each other has to offer. We've been together over a year now and it still feels like that honeymoon phase people talk about. I feel as if our connection is a hell of a lot stronger than the people who say they are in love after a month together.
     
  10. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Hell yeah. Two of my LTRs had honeymoon phases that lasted well over a year. The both started up very quickly, too.

    Oh btw, in case anyone was wondering, the key to not getting your heart broken is to make sure the relationship doesn't end while YOU'RE in the honeymoon phase.
     
  11. Ev0lv3

    Ev0lv3 New Member

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    I've been with a girl for just over a month now. I can totally see myself being with her for a VERY long time. This is the quickest I've ever developed feelings for someone. ANd have said I love you to her, and she's said it back. Things also seem to be going rather quickly with us as well, with us moving out in 2 months (my choice to move out, and she's getting kicked out of her house).

    We clicked right away, and the way we met was totally one to remember, just not some random pick up at the bar or anything. It's weird how love works.
     
  12. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Ahh, this is how it all starts when things move way too fast...good luck to you.
     
  13. Ev0lv3

    Ev0lv3 New Member

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    Well the choice is mine. I'm 24, i've wanted to move out for a couple years now. And the opportunity arose that I could get a good deal for a place through my father.

    And her mother is a complete bi-polar nut that can't decide whether she wants her daughter to stay at home, or move out. She's going to be 19 shortly.

    I know things are moving WAY to fast, but at the same time it feels OH so right. Know what I mean? And if it doesn't work out i'm just setting myself up for a huge hurt. Either way its a chance i'm taking. oi.

    Maybe I'll keep OT updated after a year or so. haha
     
  14. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    my experience is similar to IWYWB's...

    we got together just because we figured we'd have fun with each other, and we were very casual for a long time. after a short while, it became clear that neither of us were seeing anyone else, but we still were both obviously opposed to a serious relationship. then, sort of by accident, we progressed into a closer and closer relationship, and we had to admit that we were a couple. after that, i think we both started "giving in" to our feelings, and they started developing more and becoming deeper. then there was a few weeks where i think we both really wanted to say "i love you" but couldn't :mamoru: it was several months after we first started dating before we actually said it, but i'm glad we waited. once we said it, i knew we both were sure about it :wiggle:
     
  15. calisteph6

    calisteph6 Active Member

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    Yea...it's a hard situation, but I mean I don't see myself getting married for quite a few years and sometimes male companionship is just nice. :dunno: It's probably selfish of me, but through the years I have realized I should just watch out for myself because that's what everyone else does.
     
  16. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    I've only been in love once.... and it happened VERY quickly for both of us (within 6 months).... but now that I look back on our relationship I think it was a few years before I REALLY loved her... the way a husband loves his wife type of thing.
     
  17. HouseLing

    HouseLing When masturbations lost its fun you'r fucking lazy

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    the only time I would consider myself to be in love, it was a slow gradual buildup, and then very intense. Everything else so far I would consider just an attraction or infatuation.
     
  18. stormywaters

    stormywaters Tornadoes are just wind...

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    I was fairly quick, 3 months in I think.
    I always seem to know if I like people or not right away so I don't see why love would be any different.
     
  19. wholefnshow

    wholefnshow New Member

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    In most of my relationships it was always quickly developed. The relationship I'm in now (w/my wife) took some time, the reason being is I had alot of issues that occurred in the relationship previous to the one I had w/my wife. Had to get my head on straight & realize she wasnt the same woman that I dated before her. :dunno:
     
  20. calisteph6

    calisteph6 Active Member

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    bump for this...I want to see more opinions. :)
     
  21. Hyudra

    Hyudra New Member

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    I don't think that love can develop that fast. It takes time. I'm sure a lot of people confuse these feelings and make bad decisions.

    I think it's similar to expecting a big pay off, you love the idea that you might win (or fall in love), but you get caught up in it.
     
  22. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    one relationship we were friends for a year, and then dated and it seemed like it happened pretty shortly after we were official.


    the other time we talked for a couple of months, then dated. didn't happen quite as quickly, perhaps, but it's certainly lasting longer.


    both times were under 2 months.
     
  23. SixSecrets

    SixSecrets New Member

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    Unfortunately Cupid does not have a timetable.
     
  24. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    the girl who i just broke up with...i didn't love her until about 6 months after our first date. we went out for another 15 months after that, and the reason we broke up was because the distance was getting too hard to deal with for her.

    so a relationship where you don't fall in love with someone right away can still last a long time (probably longer if we hadn't been living 4 hours apart).
     
  25. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    Less than a month you tell them you love them???
    Isn't that a little early??

    I'm in a relationship now and I am beginning to develop strong feelings for her. We've been going out for about 2.5months now (i think). We see each other every weekend, starting friday night and lately I spend the night through Sunday Mornin. We also chat online almost every night and we tell each other we miss each other.

    Driving back from her house today, I started thinking about the good ol' L word and I definately do not want to say it before her. But I don't know if she will ever say it either....She is not really the love dovey type. Although I've heard her say it to some of her good friends so i dunno.

    In my last relationship, I developed strong feelings for the girl also....I think I told her that I loved her after 3 or 4 months...



     

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