Don't stop me if you've heard this: a suburban mother is sitting in her living room, pale and ashen (her, not her living room--her living room is salmon with peach highlights). Her husband comes home and tells her she looks terrible. She tells him that she's just been cleaning out their teenage son's bedroom, and his closet is filled floor-to-ceiling with gay-bondage porn... "What are we going to do?" she asks. "Well," replies the husband, "I can't spank him." Your turn.....GO!