In Love or Obsessed?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by ZiRo, Nov 29, 2004.

  1. ZiRo

    ZiRo Guest

    I never thought i'd post a problem, let alone anything at OT but here goes.

    I have three goals of this post:
    - Am i Obsessed with her, or is it really love?
    - Does she love me?
    -What should i do?

    Anything to say on the matter is greatly appreciated, please help me out.

    Here goes, a little background on me. My name is Luke, I'm 16, 17 in June. I lead a pretty boring life, i spend any free time i have on my computer, playing xbox or watching tv, because its cold outside and i hear you can get skin cancer from sunlight. I goto college 5 days a week, studying Computing, Psychology and Politics, i enjoy it and its pretty good fun. I'm not exactly a ladies man, i'm not ugly and know how to flirt and often do. My mates aren't exactly of the same caliber as myself, which might seem big headed of me but so so true. When i charm a girl i give her the attention she wants and usually she gives me the attention back and all is good. I'm not shy and i'm not afraid to make a move.

    Ok, so onto the issue. This girl, Ellie, i befriended in December last year, i knew her from primary school. We got sat next to each other in science (before i went to college, talking UK educational system here) and we hadnt talked since primary school (since we were about 11) and even then we hadn't talked much. We quickly exchanged phone numbers and online contact details. She had a long lasting relationship with a guy called Tom who's a total cock.

    We discovered we had a mutual friend, named Stuart, hes pretty well off and has a pool and jacuzzi and a massive house. In feburary, whilst her boyfriend was in south africa, she and her friend Lucy were going to stay at Stuarts for a swim and sleepover and invited me along. Stuart is a good friend of mine also. Anyway, at Stuarts', Ellie decided to 'warm her feet' under my ballsack and slowly started getting me arrowsed with a few subtle toe movements :naughty: and we soon had our hands in eachothers pants whilst in Stuarts double bed, whilst Stuart and Lucy just sat and watched tv in the same room. :bowdown:

    We went for a swim and relaxed in the jacuzzi, even being in a jacuzzi with stuart and lucy didnt stop us and still we managed to get away with it with a bit of facial tweaking, it all went unnoticed.

    Not suprisingly Stuart and Lucy ended up sleeping on the floor after Ellie demanded the bed. And we slept the night in eachothers arms but didn't have sex.

    A few weeks later similar happened, me ellie stuart and lucy, swim sleepover, ellie me in bed etc. This time she gave me a blowjob and treated me really nicely, giving me a kiss whenever she could.

    Same again happened another 2 times, including some hand down trousers under bed covers on sofa's watching tv, similarily with stuart and lucy in the same room.

    During the 3rd time, Stuart started to catch on, in hindsight i think Lucy probably relised the first time but played dumb. Stuart wasn't best pleased in his bed but we never made a mess so he cant complain that much.

    All this time she lied to her boyfriend who was getting quite pissed at her being friends with me. I became more of a friend and looked out for her and talked to her when she needed to talk about anything. She had always claimed nothing had happened and we were just friends, and i just figured 'meh ok, fair enough'. After knowing me for 6 months she started telling me she loved me and after these Stuart sleepovers i started to want her for myself, i wanted to be her boyfriend and she started to let me down slowly but i wouldn't accept it. On the last day of high school her boyfriends friends started picking on me and it ruined my last day, because i dont have mates to look out for me like that. Ellie cried because of the situation.

    We fell out because she forgave her boyfriend because he wasnt directly involved but he was the cause of it all.

    We made up a week before the prom and it was all ok, all went well till the after prom party where she tipped Stella(beer) on my head for no reason whatsoever. I was pissed off and left and walked 10 miles back to my house at 2am. (i got back at 4 for those interested)

    A month or two later (about mid august) she split up with her boyfriend for good (she had always argued with him) and promptly sought my friendship. She came to visit me for a chat and the inevitable happened and we kissed, she appoligised straight after, but that didn't stop us soon after. She started coming round regularly and became a pretty prominent part of my life. One thing led to another and after a few visits we had sex and both regretted nothing. A couple visits later she started to think 'it would never work', she 'doesnt want to ruin our friendship'. She goes to a college in another town by the way,about 10 miles from mine. She started seeing this guy called Andrew and eventually started going out with him, which is more than i ever got, relationship wise. I hated the idea, i still do, i feel she was ment to be mine and i'm angry that shes off shagging Andrew now. :sadwavey:

    I forced her to tell me if she shagged him after she spent the evening with him and i knew the answer, i just wanted to hear it from her and i felt myself snap in two. She still wants to be my friend and claims to love me, but i really dont understand how she loves me but can't give me a relationship like i want and even if she did it wouldn't work because its obviously not what she wants. But she tells me she loves me and im worried im being fucked over by her. She came round last friday and we got close even tho she is with andrew now. Got in eachothers knickers. 'nuff said.

    Am i being silly about andrew? did i make up any relationship we might have had? And my questions at the start. She did actually talk to me and socialise with me in all of this but thats less influencial than all this, she made me feel special outside of my boxers aswell as in them! :ugh2:

    I applaude you for reading this and you better reply just to make it worth your time!

    Much appreciated,
    Luke
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 4, 2004
  2. sdsnakes

    sdsnakes New Member

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    cliffs?
     
  3. TampaGirl813

    TampaGirl813 Guest

    As for the relationship part, 1.)You are both still very young, and 2.) If you're in different colleges 10 miles away, can a raltionship work for the two of you? My opinion, talk to her....tell her how you are feeling, and see what that does. If it's something you BOTH want, then find a way to make it work!:)

    BTW, you have wonderful grammar!

    ~Michelle
     
  4. Hooli Meat

    Hooli Meat i enjoy a nice set of boobs

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    If you have feelings for her just think about what she has done to other boyfriends? From what you have said, it kind of seems like a cheater to me. If you think you were hurt when she got with that Andrew guy, how would you feel if she got with another guy while you were dating. I would try to get over her and move on to someone else.
     
  5. ZiRo

    ZiRo Guest

    Thanks alot Michelle, you pointed some things out to me i quickly overlook which maybe i shouldn't. I've just become so attached i feel anything is possible.

    My grammer wasn't that great, it was 00:32 at time of posting, but thanks for the compliment! :wiggle:

    Hooli Meat :bigthumb: Thanks for the advice!

    -Luke
     
  6. Fearan

    Fearan Guest

    You're 16. You do not have a clue what love is. Especially not with someone like this. This is lusting after her boobies, nothing else. And she was cheating on her boyfriend from what I gather? If so, she'll likely end up doing it on you especially if she's that young/immature.

    Just drop it and move on man.
     
  7. ZiRo

    ZiRo Guest

    Fearan- Your probably right sir, in all cases; and i'd rather you weren't.


    I forgot to mention, this girl is all i think about, i really honestly care for everything about her, i can forgive her for anything. This is enough evidence to call me obsessed! :rolleyes:
     
  8. JarekViper

    JarekViper Guest

    Amen to that man. :eek3:
     
  9. ZiRo

    ZiRo Guest

    Thanks alot for your comments, including the cliffs...

    I'll be sleeping for the next 6 hours, any more replies i'll pick up in the morning. It has been really nice to get some views of other people, even though they gave me a verbal slap round the head! Problem with real life friends is they are too wrapped up in trying to tell you what you want rather than what you need, which is what i try to do. The world would be so much easier if everyone was brutally honest with eachother. Sure at first it'd be chaotic, but give it time and it'd be the perfect world. More sex, less hurt, more confidence, all because you know exactly what the next person is honestly thinking!

    Enjoy your evening and thanks again, especially TampaGirl,
    -Luke
     
  10. Lavender

    Lavender Easter is my favorite holiday...

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    She is useing you for sex, for one. which means she doesn't have to get into the emotional stuff. cut her off, though it will be hard for you, being a guy, cut her off from everything. don't kiss her, don't do anything. she'll find it odd and try everything possible to get you back. your making it too easy. she is having her cake and eating it too.

    second of all, the reason why she is probably doing this is because she doesn't want a relationship. she is probably sick of having a boyfriend and wants to fuck around with as many guys as possible. she knows your emotionally involved, and she may be too, but she isn't ready to settle down.

    in other words....your the girl, and she is the guy.

    so think of in terms "if i was her, what would make me want this girl if i was doing this to her"
    if you become just her friend, she go after you. and if she doesn't, then she is just using you for sex.
     
  11. Muses

    Muses Guest

    I think I LOVE you....:) you sound like a sweet, genuine....gentleman
    such a rarity these days....too bad you aren't a bit older and in the US :wavey:
     
  12. Coco Monkey

    Coco Monkey OT Supporter

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    :eek3:


    Luke, seriously...

    That was like one of the best written stories i've ever read on OT, and i've been around here for a few years.

    i say ditch the bitch and go into becomming an author! that's obviously where some of your talent awaits.
     
  13. EleK

    EleK Guest

    well it was long, but an easy read none the less.
    Dont have any advice though =/ just maybe tell her that you like her. I mean it cant be easy if you love her for her to be going out with andrew.
     
  14. ZiRo

    ZiRo Guest

    Thanks for all the comments and compliments.

    My first novel: 'Ellie and I'
    In a good book store near you!

    j/k, maybe one day!
    -Luke
     
  15. Spaulding Smails

    Spaulding Smails Real Estate Guru

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    You've let her call all the shots your entire relationship with her....Its something along the lines of wanting what you can't have....


    Look at what you do have...a 'friend' that sexes you up when in relationship trouble or inbetween bf's, and will leave when she finds her next bf....

    Sounds like you are a bit of a doormat.....


    gl
     
  16. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    No, you're not being silly, but you're more well off in this relationship than most guys ever are. Sometimes two people are just meant to be friends. Enjoy it as much as you can. You have to learn to live with what you can get.
     
  17. ZiRo

    ZiRo Guest

    Thanks for everything said OT, I much appreciate every bit of advice.

    danknuggs, your right, you picked that out of my story and that is what i am, a walkover. I will fix it, im sick of telling myself i'll try. I'm not sure what i'll do yet but i don't want to tell her to get stuffed, probably because im too weak, or sinceare.

    Maybe just friends is the way to go but i have trouble saying no to her- which is my biggest downfall, i feel.

    Feel free to continue posting anything anyone wants to say, i'm religiously watching this topic, it's probably the best thing I've done for myself.

    I'm all a bit mixed up still but i'll live,
    Luke
     
  18. BiffHenderson

    BiffHenderson New Member

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    That's a very well written post considering your age. I see a lot of crap that's written by folks who are older than you.

    Sounds to me like she like to have you around as a safety. Even if she was to be your girlfriend, it's hard to say if she'd be faithful to you.

    As other said, you're still young, so that plays into things. If you can deal with just having her around as someone to hook up with and leave it at that...it may work.
     
  19. ZiRo

    ZiRo Guest

    Yup, totally agree BiffHenderson.

    Update: She rang me today; she has been grounded and she stayed in Stamford (place where she goes to college) to see her boyfriend for an hour and had missed the last bus home. I persuaded my mother to take me to give her a lift. Lucky I'm a gentleman and my mother was willing to drive the journey for her.

    Pretty cheeky, but i agreed- wether I should have or not; I don't know- 'Remember who you chose' went through my head as she got in the car with her own mother.

    -Luke
     
  20. mellowfezzow

    mellowfezzow New Member

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    me an my gf go to different colleges 40 mi apart, everyhting is working out for us distance wise
     
  21. yeahjazz

    yeahjazz Guest

    I always hated it when people said i was too young and to get over it, no one when they are young actually listens to that, cause love is love in your mind. So basically, what i always say is talk to her. What you want is a relationship, she can say she loves you all she wants, but if she doesnt want a relationship, tell her that you're unhappy with that. let her know what you feel. Then if things still dont pan out just be her close friend, maybe, in time things will fall in place. to rush these things is never good. so basically, give it one more shot, then be her friend. you can "like" her but dont fall in love with someone you arent with, keep your eyes open to other. good luck!
     
  22. ZiRo

    ZiRo Guest

    I thought I was fixed, of Ellie I mean. She is coming round my house tommorow after she finishes work.

    She's going to her friends birthday party tommorow in Stamford and Luke knows what that means. I relised I wasn't fixed, I hate this shit, I'm close to getting rid of her, at least for a while.

    I found a nice little tune that describes the relationship and feelings i have between Ellie and I pretty well:
    I don't have a fucking clue why I am so unwilling and blind to advice, I listen but I just do nothing about it, I don't have a clue why I just dont get rid of her, even though I feel I want to- and have to...

    Luke
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 2, 2004
  23. Lyzardegod

    Lyzardegod Guest

    You're probably going to be in for a ride from hell from this girl. I hate to bring up age because everyone is emotionally and mentally different but usually most peoples' emotional and love life suck between 14-21 [horomones, the moon, lack of experience? who knows?].

    You can get all the great advice of the world and it will junk it out the window as soon as she snugs her feet into your junk again. Just do your best to let it not run your life and use condoms..she is a cheater after all.
     
  24. ZiRo

    ZiRo Guest

    Hey, I love your brutality, honesty and understanding.

    Well done that man, you fixed my mood, for now.

    -Luke
     
  25. Lavender

    Lavender Easter is my favorite holiday...

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    Get over her.

    You'll be happier on the long run.
     

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