SRS IN DIRE NEED of Relationship Help

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by ryerson206, Mar 19, 2006.

  1. ryerson206

    ryerson206 New Member

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    So I've been here before.

    Got a great new girlfriend - she and I have a ton of fun together. But fun shouldn't be the only thing our relationship has..... right?

    There's this girl that I've been madly head over heels over since the day I met her. That was well over 3 years ago. At the beginning of this year, I saw her walking on the ave (it's the University District in Seattle) and we totally hit it off again. Since then, all I can seem to think about is how much I care about this girl. Even more than the girl I am dating right now, to be honest..

    But this girl. The one I've cared about for so long now, she has a boyfriend, sort of. When I saw her again in September, she and her boyfriend of 2 years had broken up. Problem is he is long distance. I'm not sure if that's the ONLY reason they broke up - but that's the only reason she is willing to give me. Which is fine, because it's really not my business, anyhow..

    So I did some things I shouldn't have done. I went over the line and tried to plan this great big birthday party for her. I was desperate. I've liked this girl for THREE years and I haven't once gotten her attention. I started talking to all of her friends and they all accepted me. They helped me plan out the party. And then she found out about it. She told me I was wrong and that I had intentions, intentions of being more than just friends. Problem is, she was right. She was absolutely right. So, obviously she stopped talking to me. I felt terrible...

    After all of this, some shit happened with her and her ex boyfriend. They still weren't officially together but they were still "together." He did some shit with some girl apparently and SHE (the girl I like) did everything she could to cover for him. The girl her ex messed with was trying to expose him and embarrass him to his family and friends with some shit they did together, and when his ex found out, she took all the shit and did WHATEVER they wanted her to do. Long story short - they started stalking her, got her to fucking do some shit over the phone and/or in person. She took all of it, because of what HE did. Pretty fucking shitty, yes?

    I know he is a good guy, though. I can't shit him on that. He fucked up, but he owned up to that right away.

    Since all of this happened, things got too awkward between everyone so she kinda..... stopped talking with me again. Now she is leaving to London. Her boyfriend, or her ex or whatever, from what I know doesn't even care to talk to her everyday. She is gone for three fucking months.

    So what the fuck am I supposed to do. Here is the girl of my dreams - literally - she is brilliant, beautiful, sassy, intelligent, modest, classy, educated, she is just...... EVERYTHING, and yet...... she is stuck in this dead end relationship with a guy - who I must say is a good guy - who doesn't treat her the way she deserves. He may be a good guy, but if he is going to be with her, he needs to be a fucking great guy.

    It's not my right to tell her she needs to move on. But, isn't it my duty to remind her of her worth??

    OT... I need some fucking help. :wtc:
     
  2. ryerson206

    ryerson206 New Member

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    i know you're right man. it's just tough. thanks though. appreciate it.
     
  3. johan

    johan Active Member

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    that's a pretty high pedestal you've put her on. It's so high, I don't think you'll be able to reach her.
     
  4. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Agreed. You hold her up so high that you've become a doormat pushover guy. I mean dude, you were throwing a party for a girl that is not even your girlfriend! And she saw right through it too, and the way she reacted to you should tell you loud and clear that she is NOT INTERESTED! Instead of accepting and respecting her decision, you sat there with no self respect and continued to persue her, hoping that somehow some miracle would happen and she would suddenly have feelings for you. Doesn't work this way.

    Your first big misstep was trying to sneak in to be her friend so you could get close to her. That's friendzoned right there. Your second misstep is allowing yourself to go far above and beyond her feelings for you with your feelings for her. This leads to friendzone as well, plus causes you to do a lot of dumb things. Thirdly would be the fact that you put her up on this pedastle as if she is some goddess. She's not. She's a human being who makes mistakes, treats people wrongly at times, etc. She deserves no better treatment than you yourself deserve. I could go on here, but I think y ou get the picture.

    I think the biggest problem here is how you disrespected the girl you were seeing. If you weren't that into her then you should have broken up with her and allowed a good girl like her to find someone who would treat her right. And here you are thinking that you would make a good boyfriend to this other girl when you did the things you did? Yeesh man. You've got some growing up to do. I think Karma kicked you in the rear.

    If you want some help in improving yourself and learning about this type of stuff, I suggest you check out www.friendzoned.com
     
  5. EmiB

    EmiB New Member

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    Just move on and take care of YOUR girl.
     

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