i'm such a retard

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by bearsdidit, Nov 19, 2008.

  1. bearsdidit

    bearsdidit OT Supporter

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    long story short, met a girl saturday night... hit it off really well, i ended up hooking up her her yada yada... i really like her, she is sexy, confident, and smart. i got her number the next morning and told her i'd call her sometime this week. turns out she texted me the same day wanting to hang out again... i told her i was back in OC. the next day she text me again and i end up making plans with her for saturday night. well fast forward to today, she text me again and we just kinda shoot the shit, she implies that she wishes i was there with her... about half hour later i text her to see if she wants to hang out, however it turns out she has plans with some of her GFs already. god, i know better then that but i lapsed in a moment of weakness. :hs:

    ilvwhtgrls.blogspot.com
     
  2. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    i don't see a problem here...
     
  3. bearsdidit

    bearsdidit OT Supporter

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    well we live about an hour away... she said she really wanted to hang out but said that she felt bad for me driving that far. "Ur gonna come all the way here on ur day off?" she said that we could hang out tomarrow but i just played it off as a random idea and that we'll see each other on saturday still. i feel like it was a desperate move, something my old self would do.
     
  4. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    :dunno: at least you will still see each other on saturday. plus the anticipation will be heightened knowing that you both really want to see each other.
     
  5. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    she doesnt sound very interested
     
  6. bearsdidit

    bearsdidit OT Supporter

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    ya i'm super excited about seeing her and i feel like shes actually more interested in me then i am to her. lol maybe i'm just blowing this out of proportion.
     
  7. snoozeallday

    snoozeallday OT Supporter

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    :rofl:
     
  8. bearsdidit

    bearsdidit OT Supporter

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    :hs: but i know better.
     
  9. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    obviously.

    i didnt say she isnt interested, i said she doesnt *sound* interested.
     
  10. bearsdidit

    bearsdidit OT Supporter

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    lol i'm so confused by your last statement.
     
  11. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    I can sort of see what he is saying though.

    For us recovering "nice guys," a relapse in behavior (even if the beharior itself wasn't the problem, but rather the FREQUENCY of the behavior was the problem) makes you want to kick yourself.

    TS, it's part of the pendullum swing. There was absolutely NOTHING wrong with your behavior, so accept that. The issue, like you said, was that it was a behavior that you used to exhibit with a lot more frequency and desperation. So don't beat yourself up over it, just don't lapse back into your old habits either.
     
  12. bearsdidit

    bearsdidit OT Supporter

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    exactly. its been a process but i feel like i've made some great progress but once in a while i screw up. i don't think this was a HUGE lapse in judgment but just another lesson.
     
  13. forgotmyname

    forgotmyname Active Member

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    :werd:

    She's still interested in you.
     
  14. bearsdidit

    bearsdidit OT Supporter

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    thanks and i agree but it makes me feel like crap when i go back to old my ways.
     
  15. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    I gotta disagree with ya on this one
     
  16. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    lol how does anyone in LA date without having to drive forever :o

    i don't even get what you are saying is desperate :confused: that you were going to drive an hour to see her?
     
  17. bearsdidit

    bearsdidit OT Supporter

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    IMO the desperate part was trying to plan something earlier in addition to our existing plans. so far it feels that i've been able to dictate the pace but that last move was out of character. i really think i'm over analyzing it.
     
  18. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Yeah you're really overanalyzing it :o I could see it being an issue if the plans were for tomorrow and you wanted to see her today. But you met her Sat and won't see her till next Sat, I'm sure if she's into you that she'd rather see you sooner than a week too :dunno:
     
  19. bearsdidit

    bearsdidit OT Supporter

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    indeed, thanks for the reassurance.
     
  20. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    It's not really your "old" ways though. What you did was perfectly normal. It's the fact that you did this sort of thing ALL the time before and now that you've changed when you do it at NORMAL levels you still feel guilty. Just a matter of getting your "pendullum" in balance. You went from one extreme (calling, clingly behavior, etc.) to the other (you feel like you can't show interest at ALL beyond rigid constructs).

    Allow yourself to come back to the center a bit. Just don't overdo it.
     
  21. bearsdidit

    bearsdidit OT Supporter

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    thanks brofessional.
     
  22. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    What is the correct response to that?

    You know you're gonna get laid if you make the trip, but it makes you seem needy like you're willing to do this huge thing just to see her.
     
  23. bearsdidit

    bearsdidit OT Supporter

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    lol well i have a long commute to work and her place is pretty close to my work...i probably woulda just stayed the night.
     
  24. uwofrost

    uwofrost New Denver Crew

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    I was going to ask that but i got to your post. I wouldnt "plan" on staying but bring your shit just incase she wants your to our would like you to stay.

    Going back to what you said about trying to set something up in advance of the existing plans it shows you have a similar level of interest. You asking her probably made her feel better about it all since she had asked you a few times. Good luck!:bigthumb:
     
  25. bearsdidit

    bearsdidit OT Supporter

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    ya i definitely wouldn't force her into letting me stay at her place, i imagine it woulda rolled into that. we talked a ton last night, i wasn't able to sleep so she ended up calling and we talked for a couple of hours. needless to say we're both really "excited" about saturday.
     

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