SRS I'm starting to have doubts about my relationship...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by wtfmates, Aug 26, 2007.

  1. wtfmates

    wtfmates New Member

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    The relationship is going okay right now. We've been together for two years. The problem is: i'm only 18 and she was my first girlfriend. Lately I've been having doubts, wondering if I really want to stay with her for the rest of my life. I love her, but I keep wondering about other women and I get the urge to see whats out there. I feel like a giant dick, but I just can't stop wondering. She's going to move in soon, and thats a BIG step. I don't know if I want that anymore. We've made tons of plans for the future and I don't know what I would do if I dumped her and wrecked all of those plans, but I still want to get out there and date around. What should I do? Take it slow and see how it goes? Dump her? Swallow it up, and just stay with her and live with any regret that may surface late?
     
  2. armygrognard

    armygrognard New Member

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    It'll hurt, but be fair to her. If you have doubts, don't do it. better to hurt her now than to hurt her worse down the road.

    At 18, you have a HUGE life ahead of you. Some find their soulmate at 18. Others don't. Follow your gut instinct and don't try to make something work that isn't meant to be.
     
  3. SpectraRedZ

    SpectraRedZ New Member

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    I think you need to get out there and see what else is there. Why? Because you may end up harboring resentment towards your GF if you stay with her and deep down wish you had gone out and dated around. Like armygrognard said, some people find The One at 18, others dont. If you feel like you want to date other people just to see what other types of women are out there, do it. In the end, it'll be whats best for both of you.
     
  4. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    The grass always looks greener somewhere else. Trust me , you've got something good going on between you and the gf. Your just getting a little stagefright because things are getting so serious between you two. Don't be a dick and chicken out on a person who truelly loves you. If you say A in a relationship, you also have got to say B. You didn't truelly stepped in this relationship with the idea that
    she didn't want a long term relationship, and wouldn't eventually move in with you? Seriously the next woman who you would have in your life would just want the same, therefore move forward with this relationship. Bailing out for no good reason is a sign of immaturity. A girl has a heart you can break, if your mom suddenly died and was removed from your life, it would leave you heartbroken, if you leave your gf it will leave her heartbroken too. You can't just do what you want. Its mature to understand and take in account that every action in your life has consequenses attached to them. I suggest against the idea of leaving your gf.
     
  5. wtfmates

    wtfmates New Member

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    I know that if I left, I would leave her heart broken. Thats one of the main reasons why I haven't broken up with her yet. I'm probably going to give the relationship some more time and see if the stagefright goes away, but I just wanted some input from people. And I agree with you, relationship wise, I am immature, but that's because she is my first relationship and i've never been in one with anyone else.

    Also, she has had the same thoughts and feelings and has told me before.
     
  6. Jimeigh

    Jimeigh Every rook and jay in the corvidae have been raven

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    .
     
  7. Jimeigh

    Jimeigh Every rook and jay in the corvidae have been raven

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    then you appear to BOTH be making the unnecessary sacrifice of being in a monogamous relationship with each other. it doesnt bode well. you're only 18 bro, no reason you shouldnt both move on if you're feeling this way. who knows, in the end you might remember each other and fall back into each other's laps. i'd put my money on it that you'd end up marrying someone else, though.


    stay with her if you love her - not because you dont want to break her heart. dont you think it would break her heart if she found out you were dating her as a form of charity?
     
    Last edited: Aug 26, 2007
  8. Jimeigh

    Jimeigh Every rook and jay in the corvidae have been raven

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    ...what?
     
  9. wtfmates

    wtfmates New Member

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    Thanks to the advice and there's more to my feelings. On top of wanting to experience other people, I think I am slowly falling out of love with her. When she starts arguments and hangs up on me, I care less; when i'm away from her (i will be until december) I seem to have a lot more fun than when I'm with her. On top of that she's insanely jealous and I lose my cool a lot easier. But could it just be because she's away right now?

    Ah, god, I don't know what the fuck to do. I still love her but I just don't think I love her as much as I used to. And 2 years is a long fucking time to throw out. Fuuuuucccccckkkkkk.
     
  10. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    If you truly love someone, you'll do anything to stay with them regardless of current circumstances.

    As I think all couples together should do is talk to each other, communicate. Not arguing, yelling or through anger. You both must be on the same page and discuss where you both want your relationship to go.

    I know with my gf, talking helped save us numerous times. If we had seperated, I would have looked back, and realized that we broke up for some pretty petty shit. In the long run, not listening to each other is what seperates people.
     
  11. Jimeigh

    Jimeigh Every rook and jay in the corvidae have been raven

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    you're not throwing out those 2 years by moving on. by NOT moving on, you're throwing out the whole rest of your life. bring the experience from those two years with you, and look for other people. you will find someone better.

    you dont love her as much as you used to, and she's apparently also been having doubts. it would be a mistake to stay with her. you have your whole life ahead of you, dont tie yourself down. don't tie her down. talk to her about this.
     
  12. JeremyR

    JeremyR New Member

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    Yeah man, you have to speak with her clearly about this. Especially when she has a similar thoughts as you do. There's no better way to get to the core of this then talking straight to the bottom.
     
  13. ///M Pilot

    ///M Pilot New Member

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    As much as I hate to say it, you're too young for this crap.

    If you're both feeling the same about it, at least you can part ways amicably. Sure, the end of a relationship always sucks, but this sounds like one of those situations that isn't going to hurt either party a whole lot.
     
  14. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    If you're both feeling the same doubts you need to take some time to yourself, whether she wants to or not. You can't just hold on to the relationship because of the amount of time you've invested. If you're not sure, and you've actually talk about this before, I think you need to get out for a while.

    I agree with M Pilot about your age. No disrespect to youth, but you really are too young to be worrying about having invested 2 years.

    I'm all for sticking it out through the tough times, and communicating and working through things together, but from what you've said, you've already mentally check out of this relationship (when she hangs up and you don't care, you have less fun when you're apart, etc). Isn't the point of a relationship to be with someone that makes you happy? If you have less fun when she's not around, what's the point of working it out?
     
  15. Got Me SOM

    Got Me SOM I'd win

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    I think you know the answer to your own question.
     
  16. IMJ

    IMJ The Bitch

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    If you have doubts...
    don't do it.
     
  17. blocparty2005

    blocparty2005 New Member

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    Dude i had the exact same feeling as you did with my last girlfriend, i started to fall away from her. It got to a point where all i wanted to do is go out with my friends more rather then going to hang out with my girlfriend. I guess i just realized that i had a alot of life ahead of me and that i was still in highschool and i just wanted to have fun while it lasted, but you can't do that with a gf who is always wanting to be with you every chance you have free time. my friend would always call me, and i was always with her.. she didn't like hanngin with me and my friends, she just wanted to spend time with me alone, and i seriously hated it, It sucked so bad, so i had to let her go, yes i cried when i did it because it was really hard, expecially after a year of dating and how weird it was going to feel not having a girlfriend, but now that i look at it, it was for the best.
     
  18. keysmachine

    keysmachine New Member

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    Dark I'm seriously going to have to disagree with you here. Not because I'm against you but because in this situation being that he's only 18 and only ever had one girlfriend its absolutely essential for him to date around otherwise how will he really know that this girl or a girl like her is the one?

    inexperience in the field is the reason why so many marriages fail its a proven fact. While there are some occasions where HS sweethearts do marry and are happy forever.. this is rare and I think you know that.

    I think its important in any type of social development and internal discovery that a person should date around, not only should he date around I think he should also experience loss. Because a good foundation starts from dirt and gravel and you build and build till you have something amazing.

    You should see the logic in this post. But again I'm not disagreeing with you because I'm against what your saying. I'm just stating that its important to experience every level of love including the bad things.
     

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